Funny!!
Adult Fairy Tales

CINDERELLA wants to go to the ball, but her wicked stepmother won't let
her. As Cinderella sits crying in the garden, her fairy godmother
appears,
and promised to provide Cinderella with everything she needs to go to
the
ball, but only on two conditions. "First, you must wear a diaphragm."
Cinderella agrees. "What's the second condition?"
"You must be home by 2:00 a.m. Any later, and your diaphragm will turn
into a pumpkin."Cinderella agrees to be home by 2:00 am The appointed
hour
comes and
goes, and Cinderella doesn't show up. Finally, at 5:00 a.m. Cinderella
shows
up,looking love struck and very satisfied."Where have you been?" demands
the Fairy Godmother. "Your diaphragm was supposed to turn into a pumpkin
three hours ago!!!"
" I met a prince, Fairy Godmother. He took care of everything."
The Fairy Godmother stated, "I know of no prince with that kind of
power!
Tell me his name!"
Cinderella replied, I can't remember, exactly,
Peter, Peter, something or other..."
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PINOCCHIO had a human girlfriend who would sometimes complain about
splinters when they were having sex. Pinocchio, therefore, went to
visit Gepetto to see if he could help. Gepetto suggested he try a little
sandpaper wherever indicated and Pinocchio skipped away enlightened.
A couple weeks later, Gepetto saw Pinocchio bouncing happily through
town and asked him, "How's the girlfriend?"
Pinocchio replied, "Who needs a girlfriend?"
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LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD was walking through the woods when suddenly the
Big Bad Wolf jumped out from behind a tree and, holding a sword to her
throat, said, "Red, I'm going to screw your brains out!"
To that, Little Red Riding Hood calmly reached into her picnic basket
and pulled out a 44 magnum and pointed it at him and said, "No, you're
not.
You're going to eat me, just like it says in the book."
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MICKEY MOUSE and MINNIE MOUSE were in divorce court and the judge said
to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she's f**king
Goofy."
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This is my favorite LOL !!!!!!!!!!

SNOW WHITE saw Pinocchio walking through the woods so she ran up behind
him, knocked him flat on his back, and then sat on his face crying, "Lie
to
me! Lie to me!"
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Did you know ..Captain Hook died from jock itch.
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One day, JANE met TARZAN in the jungle. She was very attracted to him
and during her questions about his life she asked him how he engaged in
sex.
"What's that?" he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said, "Oh, I use a hole in
the trunk of a tree."
Horrified, she said, " Tarzan, you have it all wrong but I will show
you how to do it properly." She took off her clothes, lay down on the
ground
and spread her legs. "Here," she said, "you must put it in here."
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an
almighty kick in the crotch. Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she
managed
to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"
"Just checking for bees," said Tarzan !!