A woman just asked me a question and I did not know how to respond soooo I figured I would lay it in your hands to get some advice lol.
She is dateing a man that she thinks she is head over heels in love with and is planning to move away with him but has complained about these things: he was lovey dovey in the start of the relationship and now it seems that his highlight of affection is during sex and also the only time she hears the I love you's... also she feels that sometimes he is super affectionate and wants to cuddle but on the phone and through txt he seems very distant and when she ends her txt with I love you his will end with an xoxo sometimes or nothing back. She asked me was she over thinking things or just being crazy? lol also consider he did break up with her for about 3 weeks after dateing 6 months because his job transffered him and he could not stand the distance and this is when he said he loved her and wanted her to move in with him and get back togather lol soo thats my crazy drama for tonight lay it on me what I should say lol. Thanks, The Chef

men are confusing she should not move away with him unless she is stable that way when things go crazy shes not down and out

Hes offered to pay for the whole move and swears that he wants a longterm thing with her that hopefully leads to marriage because he believes you should live with someone before you get married

Well if she gets the feeling that he only responds to her needs during sex then I don't really think that she should move in with him. You should be totally honest with her about how you think she should react - it's only fair and wouldn't you want the same respect in return? If she moves and know nobody in the area and he decides he doesn't want to be with her then she will have nothing.

I'm confused about 1 and 2... if he's lovey dovey at times, how can he not show affection unless during sex? And if they're one in the same it seems she's confusing them...

That being said, it doesn't sound like they've been together long enough to know if it will work or not.. At this point she has to decide to take a chance knowing it may not work out or not take the chance knowing it could have worked out...

I told her to let me think about the whole thing before I responded this is why I put this out here to make sure I am giving her the best advice I can I figured with my feedback and the advice of the beatiful mingle peps I will be at least pointing her in the right direction

thats great but she needs to have her own just in case he turns out to be crazy and she has to runnoft in the middle of the night


*****es be crazy

in reply to the 1 and 2 being confussing about the lovey dovey sometimes and the affection during sex is like this sometimes he will like to cuddle like while there watching a movie or such but say nothing and when she says I love you out of the blue then hes like I love you to in a very non careing annoyed way I guess is how she desscribed it but during the trip to the bedroom its all passionate I love yous and tons of loveing remarks but otherwise she feels sex is the time he shows the most affection comp-letely lol I know this is confussing hince me asking for help with an answer lol

Thanks Chef, maybe it was the way I read it, I do that sometimes...

You know I really think only she can make the call from what she feels in her heart and knows in her soul... With so much at stake I'd use the mind as well.. A lot times, men and women become complacent in a relationship and get lazy with the affection and consideration, in the bedroom when you have all the sexiness going on it's easy to remember how much you feel for someone.. Great sex can even make us think we might love someone when it's only great affection and not to the love point...

But how would she know if this is what it is?

Because he's cuddly other times and wants to marry her as well as pay for her expenses to move her with him... I more meant that he's more affectionate during sex b/c he's focused on that and nothing else and the intensity of his feelings are coming out in that one on one... I used the great affection part thinking "been there done that" so can tell the difference...

any other input?