Been a while since I posted a thread here, but I was thinking about some things lately and wanted some advice.

A few years ago I was diagnosed with a condition called Sleep Apnea, something I was aware of a bit before that. While the details of the condition are irrelevant, one of the effects is that it shuts down your metabolism - it mimics the sudden weight gain often associated with things like liver damage and diabetes.

Oddly, because of this I noticed something. All of us have become liars. I see hundreds of accounts where we all talk about looks not being the important part and wanting various and sundry mental/emotional capabilities, but in the end people ignore those elements completely in favor of looks.

Now, even I used to do that to some extent. I ended up with a lot of crazy, codependent women with nice tits and no brains and I chose them over the vastly more intelligent, interesting women. I've isolated that to three things. 1) I have a protector impulse - I like riding to the rescue. 2) I have some self-image issues that make it hard for me to accept rejection as gracefully as some people do. And 3) I appear to have a weakness for certain body types over others.

What I'm curious about is why I have that last issue. I'm an intelligent person. I've dated a lot of people, many of whom did not meet my physical desires. I've come to see where people are unique and interesting. Why should a part of me still be constrained by a certain ideal of beauty?

Ladies, I'd love your input on this as well, as I see the same issue exists on both sides of the gender line. I'm curious how people handle it and if it's something people have developed work-arounds for.

Why do we like what we like?>????

I like strawberries.......some may not.

Do you think that all good looking people are unintelligent???? or have you just picked the bimbos????

Im thinking that instead of asking yourself the questions you are asking yourself, you should ask yourself why you put labels on people, subconsiously/conscoiously.

i.e. overweight people are jolly and happy people

skinny women are b*tches

ok too much depth to answer I see..........

Why do we keep looking for that certain body type? Because its something we have had since the birth of man. Survival of the fittest type of thing.

*laughs* sorry for not answering, gypsy - I was at work. Hmmm... I don't see how remarking that the ones I picked were poor choices is an instinctive label - nor did I think I said "All the cute ones were idiots". Believe me, I've picked my share of dumb, large people too.

It's not your depth I couldn't answer, it's your lack of ability to read what I said. As a person who recommends not labeling, perhaps you ought to assume that blanket answers are not getting anyone anywhere.

Sorry, that came out a little harsh. To your credit, you are correct in the issue that I did pick some "winners", but I did not, in fact, mention any physical characteristics.

The point is more of a question of lines. Example: I don't respond to people without pictures. Not because I want to see the bod (people never look like their pics) but because no pic = fraud in my mind. So why would a certain body type = good in my mind when I have ample examples to prove that action and body type are rarely related?

Same here. I studied psychology for 7 years, and, as a result of that, and of being a "good listener," I have been everybody's counselor/rescuer for as long as I can remember. It's a good thing, in many ways, because I can help people; but everyone becomes accustomed to their roles, and there's never any hope of reciprocation, no matter how bad things might get.



Rejection can be difficult. I tend not to think about it much except in certain cases where I may be really interested in someone -- then it's a huge inhibitor.



Same here. Although I have never actually LIMITED myself to those particular body types, those are always the ones I notice.



Well, a lot of people fall back on the "biological imperative" argument, which I think is a load of crap -- I myself have no interest whatsoever in reproducing, and the physical types I'm attracted to are, in the main, not classic "breeder-bodies."

I have a theory that my own preferences can be traced back to one particular person who I imprinted on as a sort of "ideal." To this day, a huge factor in how much I am attracted to someone relies on how much this person reminds me of this "ideal" person.

And there is a great deal of subjectivity in the concept of "beauty" anyway.



I just accept the idea that I have preferences, but try to keep in mind that I am not a slave to them. I will always "like what I like," but allowances have to be made for possible "exceptions to the rules."

Glad to see ya tarnak! All that study in psychology and what I learned is about preference is "apples and oranges".

Who doesn't like pretty girls?

Thanks, Lex. That's actually a really interesting idea. Several of them, really.

Howdy, Biker! Good to hear from you. Hope the new year is treating you well, young as she is.

did somebody say "Bimbos"?

And I thank you for raising an issue with some substance to it. I wish we had more of these.

I'm pretty fly for a fat guy

I have heard claims that we have a genetic preference for certain body types. I am not sure if that is true, but even if it is true, it is not the complete answer.

People are a product of their culture to some extent. Our culture promotes the super thin big breasted women, and so that is one of the things most of us like. There are also sub cultures within the overall culture that promotes a preference for other body types. For example blond hair is the Hollywood preference, and my anti Hollywood tendencies is probably part of the reason why I prefer dark or red hair.