well there are balloon grams ,flower's: on and on,,,,,

Exactly!!!!!....That's why you need to be clear because he isn't being
clear...So you need to set the tone for what's good and comfortable for
you and let him work on and decide what he needs to do for himself!!!!!

any type of gifts are out of the question at this point.

Native, thanks and I had wondered the correct way to approach that,
too...because I feel that, if I back off "too much" he'll just get
caught up in the complacency of the situation. You know what I mean?

Ever been in a situation that wasn't not the most pleasant,but it was
familiar, and, therefore, less frightening than facing the unknown?

He did say, though, that if other circumstances weren't what they are,
that he would leave in a heartbeat but he also said at one time that
he's not sure how to approach her, what to say, exactly...because in
spite of the situation, she'd freak because she's very insecure. She
doesn't love him, he says, she "desperately needs" him....or thinks she
does, anyway.

Yes I know exactly what you are saying Sheila but he either wants out or
he doesn't and that decision has to be his...He NEEDS to grow a
back-bone is what he needs to do!!!!!!!!

No, no...it is a bit more detailed than that. I can't go into it here.
Even though he hasn't definitely made a decision, it's not his
indecision at this point that is what's keeping him from leaving. If
that makes any kind of sense. lol

OK, Jeanc,,First if it were me,,,and it has happen,,,
I would say that hey,,,your still mrried right now and I don't want to
be in anyway YOUR possible reason for doing anything in your
marrage,,,so do what you will in life and if you do find your self
single,,,I'd be glad to talk to you about where in life I am and what I
could see in my future....thanks,

I was where YOU are NOW,,with all that,,,and I DID NOT DO,
what I just suggested that YOU do,,,,mine got real STUPID,,and NOT
GOOD!!!

Thats why MY advice to you was,,,as it was!!

Sheila Hun, I know htis is a hard issue for you because of how much yuo
do care for him (and it is obvious thatyou do).
However, I believe yo have already told him how you feel? If to do so
ONCE, and if you have already done so, remind him ONCE, and then let him
know that until he comes to a decision, and he becomes available (which
by the sounds of it means becoming divorced?) then Nothing can happen.
ANd this might well mean continuing to talk tohim too. By the sounds of
it, he is trying to avoid making a decision, wether out of fear of
hurting you, his wife, hinself or all three it doesnt matter. Until he
is ready to take that step forward and absolve his obligaitons t his
wife then yhou have no business even thinking about a relationship with
him. I know this is blunt and a bit harsh hun, but it is true. Put
yourself in her (his wifes) shoes, and think how you would feel of your
husband was having second thoughts and a lady was trying to push him
into a divorce (andI am not saying you are trying to push him)....

Iam beginning to ramble on (getting tired) butmy point is you need to
step away fromhm and let him make the decision. If he can not or will
not make hte decision then move on. But do not push him in eihter way.

Daniel, life happens...the bad with the good. I have NOTHING to do with
his already contemplating divorce; he's been doing that for some time
now...long before we met up again, which I explained in my original
post.

I didn't just meet this guy; I have a pretty significant past with him.
So I can think what I want to think...the fact the situation isn't ideal
right now doesn't mean I can't contemplate a potential future with him.

Again, as I said in the post above, I can't detail right now some other
issues at hand. But those issues have to be resolved first, too, before
anything else can take place.

He's not playing me; I want that clearly understood. We are NOT having
an affair; I also want that clearly understood.

We don't even TALK about infidelity..i want that clearly understood.

All that's happened is that he's told me he's considering divorce and
that he'd like to see me if/when that takes place.

And I just want him to know I'm going to be here for him, that I care
for him, and do it in such a way that doesn't "spook" him.

Thanks for your input everyone; I really appreciate it.

jeanc, you wrote guys are 'ambiguous', but
you make statements like 'I want him to have the
reassurance of knowing that I'll always be around,
without taking it for granted that I'll always be around.'

No who's being ambiguous?