1 cup butter
1 cup of water
1 tsp baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups of dried fruit
1 bottle of Grey Goose Vodka

Sample the Grey Goose to check quality.
Take a large bowl, check the Grey Goose again to be sure it's of the highest quality, poor one level cup and drink.

Turn on the electric mixer.... beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.
Add 1 tsp of sugar...beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the Grey Goose is still ok, try another cup, just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dries fruit. Pick the frigging fruit off the floor... mix on the turner. If the fruit dried gets stuck in the beaterers, just pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the Grey Goose to check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift 2 cups of salt, or something. Who giveshz a sheet. Check the Grey Goose. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add 1 table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink. Whatever you can find. Greash the oven.

Turn the cake 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forgetto beat off the turner. FInally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Grey Goose and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.