i am haveing trouble with my baby girl and her dad use to beat on us so
i cant spank her and i dont agree with spanking anyway but my little
girl when she dont get her way she well kick and punch me. i am scard i
may louse my cool with her and i dont want that so i just put her in her
room and i try to cool off but shes not even 2 yet any one got any
advice for me??

hockey stick. Roll of duct tape. DOOR STOP!!!
shes going thru those todzilla moments!!!!

I would suggest if you think you are afraid you will lose control set up
an appointment with a counsilor, and use the helplines as often as you
need to.

She's a toddler.

You however seem to be having the issues.

Luck to you.

hottie on a more serious note good on you girl for getting out. I was
there too. heres some flowers to cheer you up!

OK now this is where you have to be consistent with your babygirl. Her
hitting and kicking could that be from other todzillas shes around? they
learn from each other. This is normal BUT you gotta get real NASTY REAL
FAST. In a kind and loving but FIRM way. Put her into time out. A minute
per year. Take the thing she is wanting most...bad attention is STILL
ATTENTION and turn it around. I make my youngin put his nose to the wall
and stand there. It tears him up. I also buckle and cave
sometimes cuz being a single mom with no help does get overwhelming.
Been there and i am being real honest. I let it go sometimes but when i
went thru the TODZILLA MOMENTS I stood my ground when it came to
hitting, kicking and even BITING. Try a reward system and praise her for
her efforts even if she doesnt quite do it right! sometimes we all need
positive strokes. I sure do!!

she is a toldler and i know i have things to deal with but is it normal
for a baby to cry all night and be a sleep the whole time, and she has
gave me a black eye and a blodie knose and i never did that to my mom.
realy i dont know if she still sees her dad beating on his new
girlfriend or what but i think there is a little more to this than a
tipcal tolders temper.

but thank you for you advice and i do have public health nurce that come
to see me and my little girl

thank you barbies big sister. i do find it hard being a single mom and
just 2 weeks ago i move out of my parents home and got my own place and
now my little one runs around screaming for my mom because my mom gives
her every thing she wants and it makes it worce. but thank you and i
well try the time out

Your daughter has the night terrors.My son had them until he was two.
They do out grow them.My doctor suggested I wake him up just before deep
sleep and it seemed to help.your daughter has learned that hitting is a
way to deal with anger and frustration from her Dad.she saw him do it so
she thinks it's okay. Kudos to you because you have taken the first step
towards showing her that it's not.Like Barbie said sometimes us
singlemoms give in to save our sanity but on this issue you need to
stand firm.When she does it tell her firmly that this type of behavior
is not acceptable and put her in time out preferably the corner . do
this everytime even if it means she is there 50 times.She will catch on
fast you mean buisness.Then teach her to use her words to express anger
not her fists.Being what you guys have been thru I think family
couseling for yourself would be a great idea.I know I had flashbacks and
such after I left an abusive relationship.Good Luck and e-mail anytime.

Don’t give in to her anger and tantrums cause that’s just teaching her
to do it more to get what she wants. Now is the time to teach her about
manners…if she asks for juice tell her to say please (in a kind voice)
other wise you won’t give it to her, and then ask her to say thank you.
Use negative reinforcement by giving her other options like if she wants
something she cant have put it up high and possibly give her something
she can have. Also positive reinforcement works as well. Start a money
or candy jar and when she does something she normally wouldn’t put a
candy or money in her jar (if she is usually bad a school and she has a
good day, or says please in a kind voice without being asked, picks up
her toys when you first ask…of course explain the jar to her…if you are
using a candy jar tell her if she is good she can have one or two pieces
after dinner, if it’s money tell her when she fills it to a certain
point on the jar she can go to the toy store and get a toy. You can use
the jars if she is bad as well by telling her you will remove an item
from the jar if she doesn’t do as you ask. I understand she is young so
it may take time for her to understand but just don’t give in to her
anger by giving her what she wants, when they do that they just want
attention so let them get angry no matter how long they cry and scream
and kick…if she hits you tell her she is not allowed to hit you….start a
time out spot whether a chair, a place on the floor, a mat…and tell her
to stay there for as long as you want her to…if she gets up add minutes,
don’t say anything just pick her up place her on her spot and walk away,
if she gets up do it again…now this is the hard part not saying anything
and repeating the same task but eventually she will get the point, if I
stay on this spot mommy will talk to me and pay attention to me. I hope
some of this helps….good luck!!!

Two choices, timeout with positive reinforcement

or bribe here with Candy.

I would also recommend counseling for you to help deal with the abuse
issues. You need help to get over the abuse you dealt with and they can
help you deal with what you are going through with your daughter. There
are more and more child therapists around and they do play therapy, etc.
Now is the time to deal with it, before she gets any bigger and even
more confused.

You are a smart woman and dealing with a really hard situation. I went
through it but didn't get away from my ex until my daughter was 5, and
raising her was a nightmare, she went through a horrible teenage time, I
wish I had gotten out sooner but didn't have your strength. I would
find a counselor and go for professional help, they can help you with
both the issues.

I'm not a parent but have dealt with children in same situation...my
niece.....whatever you do don't spank her..she is too young and her
bones are very fragile...try taking things from her...but do not talk
hateful to her either...patience, love and understanding will get u both
through it. As far as spanking a child yes i do believe in spanking a
child when it's called for. spare the rod and spoil the child. Took some
time but my niece grew out of it.

thank you all and i well take the advice and put it to good use. thanks

You say a nurse comes to your house to visit you and your daughter?

Am I correct to assume then that an agency has become involved in the
care of the both of you?

may i suggest

maybe put her in her highchair (use the seat belt)

and then play games with the child

or read them a story

(do not give them food that could lead
to comfort eating and be a problem in the future)

just do something you know they enjoy

it may take a few times b4 you notice any progress

just a thought

but hey what do i know

I wish you the best with you and the little one.

Try and make sure all dangers are out of the way, and et her scream.
It's hard, I know.
Then maybe a distraction.

Do NOT put her in a highchair, or other place that she can flail and
rock.

I used to have to use holding therapy with my son at age 5 so he
wouldn't hurt himself...

I would suggest getting some bright colorful books. When you feel very
stressed, have your stuff ready.
Get the book out and start reading aloud...
Begin playing with some toys on the floor...

Again, Not sure about your area...but, make sure you are getting help
for you, and the stress... it'll make a difference in how you see
things.

light to ya..

=0)

i aggree

you do not put them in th high chair
as a punishment and you do not leave them unattended

you need to be there and trying to distract them

and if they do not calm down
and fling arms n head nlegs about

by all means remove them from chair
and put them where they can not hurt themselves

but emotional does have expierance so listen to her

You need to stay in control. The moment your child smells fear they will
feed of of it. Trying to stop violence with violence is not the answer
and will not solve anything. Try redirecting her. I just took a
parenting course that talked all about this. Learned a lot of useful
information. There is a difference between punishment and discipline.
Starting a time out at this age is not necessarily a bad thing. Sit her
on her bed, try telling her how you are feeling. Say "What you are doing
is making mommy sad" use facial expressions so she understands. Just
continue to stay strong, do not change her routine. That will confuse
her in the long run. And be consistent when she acts out use the same
routine over and over again. It will not be a quick fix and it will take
time, but over time it will get better. Just please do not let fear take
over, cause if you do you are just going to show her that she can get
away with it.

Hold her gently in your arms until she stops .


don't let go put her down when she is in a calm state.

I went thru the same thing .

sat her on my lap put my arms around her arms and held her..

also took off shoes so she couldn't bruise the hell out of me.


after a few days of it; ie, she did not like that restrained feeling and
it got much better.

could my depression be making my baby scared or feal alone? because i
dont know alot about the depression but i have been thinking about it.

and yes i do have a nurse come see my daugther and myslef but i asked
for that on my own because at 14 i found out i had the depression
problem and it got worce after i had been with my daugthers dad. i fealt
i needed the nurse it gave me some one to talk to and ask question.

thank you all for your advice

hottie sending the best prayers your way....