How long should people converse before they meet up for a first "date" after meeting on a dating website?
Just wondering what you guys think?

if they are local a first public meeting is okay as soon as there is a bit of interest

interested?....lol

when you feel comfortable,no time limit.

Dating site -- I have waited as little as two weeks, as long as a year, before meeting in person. As it turns out, length of time doesn't matter -- it's always a disaster.

Real life -- My standard rule is one week of phone calls before meeting in person. If, after a week, I'm convinced that I will be able to tolerate this person for three months, we meet.

way to be a downer, you'll never get anywhere with an attitude like that.


just keep it public, and if you think its too soon, then it is. If you dont, then its not. the end :)

You must be new!

a friend from work suggesed this method to me. its how he met his girlfriend, and theyve been together a while now.

Yep. She hasn't yet been here long enough to see what a truly bright ray of sunshine you really are, Lex.

It's the downside of being so remarkably subtle. Oh well. I think I'll go clean the toilet now.

... I'm verry lost, you guys went wayyy over my head there

To really understand, you would have to wade through all 1457 pages of Lex's profile.

Sorry! No offense intended. I have a long-standing reputation here, which it is very important for me to uphold, for no particular reason.

But some people are sort of amused by it.

I'm a writer, have published two books this year, and I've made many friends on this site in the two years I've been here. I'm even a forum moderator.

And one of the things I do for fun here is to drift aimlessly back and forth between "unbridled cynical guy" and "supportive guy." Most people who have been here for awhile get it. It helps me hone my writing skills and gives me something to do while I'm waiting for the microwave popcorn to stop burning.

Can you be here by midnight?

Seriously, I just like to make sure they have the necessary skills to have a conversation for an hour. If I figure that out and I like them, I have no problem meeting them for a beer or coffee. It's not a particular length of time... just a judgement as to whether they're pyscho.

I am kinda partial to " Unbridled Cynical Guy " myself. Mainly because I am the same way.

You are just far better with words than I am.

Hey, you're pretty good yourself! I've been impressed with some of your stuff!

And now we can start a Cynical Guys Club! With a secret password and everything. Keep all the icky girls out.

Well, not all of them....!

The He Man Women Haters club. With a secret handshake too.

I don't really hate women. I just don't understand why all the ones who like me are 897,000 miles away. Is it my plutonium shirt?

can i have the password? :-p

Might be. The good news is that the half life of plutonium is about 24000 years. So they will eventually be able to safely approach you.

Sure, why not? You asked nicely, no problem!

The password is "sahelanthropus tchadensis."

Oooops, I probably shouldn't have posted that here. Oh well....

To get back to the actual topic -- the dating site girl I met after talking to her on line for only two weeks, turned out to be an arsonist. This was disconcerting, not to mention somewhat inflammatory.

For that reason alone (as well as several others), I now have a policy of never rushing into anything with people from dating sites. I'm figuring six, seven years of talking before meeting, full NSA clearance, some sort of hypnosis to find out about her past lives as a charwoman in the 1400s, that sort of thing. One can never be too careful.