can someone fill me in how you can tell someone that you hate them
everysingle day but still not want them to leave?
is it possible to have a relationship like that or is the person just
conflicted and unprepared to move on.

hi king! omg..seems like a question that i would be asking you..hoping
that you could share your wisdom with me.lol

the first thing that comes to my mind is dependency/codependency
issues..its hard for many people to let go and move on..even if they're
miserable..

i guess that it's possible to have a relationship like that, BUT
certainly not a healthy one!

some people fear change! letting go of a person that we love or at one
time loved is having the courage and strength to leave that person
behind..and no, we arent being disloyal by doing so.

i could go on and on!! haha

in your topic headline you say "2 strongest emotions"..love and hate?
or???

yeah, love and hate. i feel the same way that you do about it but here's
the twist. if you really love that person, why couldn't you let go if it
was making the both of you miserable?
do you think it has any thing to do with being selfish and not taking
into account the other persons feelings?

yes, i believe that it is definately selfish to hold on to someone that
way, but selfish to who? both parties, i think.. he/she is being selfish
not only to the other person but to him/herself also. dont you think?

i think both sides definitely get the shaft but i think it's harder on
the other person because you're stuck between loving and being with
someone who makes you miserable by saying that they hate you everyday
and blame you for everything that is wrong with their life but when you
leave you have to listen to them cry about how you are abandoning them.
you still love them so it's a tough decision. we ain't even getting into
the bitterness and increased hatred that they have for you after you
leave

It's a very fine line between love and hate in my opinion. Still, I
don't understand why people stay in situations like that... where there
is no love, no committment no respect. The lack of respect alone would
send most people who are healthy of mind out the door...

Good lord, even a dog will run when it gets kicked. The only thing I
can figure would be a lack of self-esteem and fear of the unknown that
would keep someone in a situation like that. A miserable situtation is
to some people easier to deal with then fear of the unkown....

J

Being christian helps...

not in my experiences man. alot of times someone who has christian
beliefs is not any more emotionally or mentally stable than any other
person that i have meant.

i don't have a problem leaving in a situation like that but you have to
draw the line between trying to work out a good relationship with
someone who is having a lot of trouble for some reason at that time or
ending a relationship with someone who just doesn't know what they want
but will take that out on you because in either situation they don't
know what the problem is thereselves.

love..........hate.....love..hate...lovehatelhoavtelovehate...

JUST lovetohate

aha LOL

i dont know, j, its not that easy sometimes...kids are a big reason
couples stay together..money..religion..

All of the above. I think a lot of times people are just uncomfortable
to
move on or get out of the situation for fear of the unknown. And if the
person needs financial security then that can be a factor too. It all
boils down as to how strong the person is in dealing with life's little
torments.

Ghostrecon

well...I can't speak for the women but I do believe that for 99% of the
men who won't let go..it's simply a matter of control. I'll give an
example...my g/f's very soon to be ex-husband did shit to her like call
her fat(she's 5'6" 139 lbs,goes to the gym at least 3 times a week and
has a perfect body) and then bitch at her cuz she didn't eat enuff, he'd
bring her home alcohol or leave money for her to buy some and then bitch
about how her drinking is ruining their marriage(she drank cuz she was
miserable with him)..or say shit to her like.."you might as well stay
with me cuz no other man would put up with you"..he'd call her a slut
and a whore because she had a sexual past but she's only the 2nd woman
he has ever been with. He'd tell her what a bitch she was to live with
and yet wanted to stay with her..well if she was THAT bad..why would he
want to stay married to her then? it's simple, he looks at her like
property..he didn't want fuck all to do with her before I came along( I
should add also that I was NOT the catalyst for her leaving him)..but
NOW..the ONLY reason he wants her is cuz someone else does..it's control
pure and simple..AND they were married for 20 years, she told him many
times over the years she wasn't happy so it wasn't like he didn't know
or had time to work it out before it all ended, he just chose not
to..he's one of those that figures as long as HE'S happy, then everyone
is automatically happy too, and if they aren't..he don't care, as long
as he is...the sad part was, he wasn't happy either.. he's just to much
of a control freak to understand that

To me, this sounds like a love/hate relationship for sure! Oh you
definately can have this type of a relationship, I think we all have
known someone stuck in this type of a thing. My advice is move on
because it can turn out to be a tragedy.
My aunt was in a situation like this. Her and her husband hated each
other but thought they loved each other so much that they could not live
with out each other--sounds strange I know, but thats how they felt. He
ended up killing her, so I say get the hell out of any type of a
relationship like this...it brings nothing but trouble!!

Goodmorning Unsure

hey chica and unsure..goodmorning!

hey goodmorning chica and tretia...how are you doing today?

All I have to say is HATE is a very large word,,and love is not treated
the way it should be treated,,and for that said if you want to get out
then do so,,just dont HATE her or him,,even if theres kids in the
house,,make the best of it and walk away to save there feelings meaning
the kids,,cause of the thing in this world I HATE IS TO SEE PEOPLE
FIGHTING OVER DUMB SHIT ,,AND THEY HATE EACHOTHER TO THE POINT THEY CANT
STAND EACH OTHER,,lets just love,,and forget the HATE,,its not worth it
to hate the person you loved anymore,,why that well carma will bite you
in the ass or your feelings will be beating your ass for giving up on
something you did love and never hated.....like I said I have no place
talking on this TOPIC,,,,lol,,,