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| Topic: 907daydreamer's NEW (and improved) THREAD | |
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Edited by
JustAGuy2112
on
Wed 12/10/08 09:17 PM
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This may be insensitive, but I doubt she'll be pleased with any man since the perfect man has tragically passed away. it is insensitive. and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from mentioning my dead fiance. I never said he was perfect. I never said I'm looking for perfect. What matters is that he tried...we tried to be "perfect" for each other. Thank you for making me regret sharing any part of myself with another human being It should make getting beyond my past that much easier. I apologize, I did not mean the comment in a mean manner. I meant it to open your eyes. How does bringing up one's tragic past open up their eyes? Good question. From a guy's perspective....There is usually an assumption that, when someone lost someone that close to them in an untimely manner, that person would then hold others up to an unreachable standard when the time has come for them, in their mind, to move on. A guy who is interested in someone who lost a fiancee will usually think that, if even subconsciously, he is going to always be compared with what she had before. Usually unfavorably. That then puts the guy in the proverbial " No Win Situation ". |
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Sweet. Its not to bad being at work. I have a trainee thats doing all my work so I just gotta find a way to keep my eyes open. mingle is good for that  and Genius, I know you aren't the best at conveying what you mean in text so I tried to be considerate of that every nice thing that came after told me that you didn't mean it that way but it cuts me deeper than any other subject and I would rather not discuss it here I appreciate your apology but my eyes are open perhaps yours should be too. My eyes are open to the fact that every comment of mine no matter how nice it is offends you. Sometimes in life, I will say truths you don't want to hear. Have you ever had to tell an alcholic that they're an alcoholic? They respond the same way. Sure it will make you mad, angry, and agitated, but the last thing you should do is run from what you fear the most. In fact, the MORE you talk about it, the easier it will be to get past your hurdle. That is what counceling is all about. I've never in my life seen someone get over something by not talking about it. You know, I just wanted to help you. I am however equally offended by your defensiveness into all my statements and suggestions. I guess this is it then, I'll seriously keep my space from you since I can't talk to you civilly. You already have your mind made up about who I am and what my intensions are. when and where I talk about my past is up to me. you had no business bringing it up here it is in bad taste and if you can't see how that might incite anger in a person then I have you pegged just fine. I need a break from this place. |
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Good question. From a guy's perspective....There is usually an assumption that, when someone lost someone that close to them in an untimely manner, that person would then hold others up to an unreachable standard when the time has come for them, in their mind, to move on. A guy who is interested in someone who lost a fiancee will usually think that, if even subconsciously, he is going to always be compared with what she had before. Usually unfavorably. That then puts the guy in the proverbial " No Win Situation ". some people are bigger than that. I'm outta here. |
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This may be insensitive, but I doubt she'll be pleased with any man since the perfect man has tragically passed away. it is insensitive. and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from mentioning my dead fiance. I never said he was perfect. I never said I'm looking for perfect. What matters is that he tried...we tried to be "perfect" for each other. Thank you for making me regret sharing any part of myself with another human being It should make getting beyond my past that much easier. I apologize, I did not mean the comment in a mean manner. I meant it to open your eyes. How does bringing up one's tragic past open up their eyes? Good question. From a guy's perspective....There is usually an assumption that, when someone lost someone that close to them in an untimely manner, that person would then hold others up to an unreachable standard when the time has come for them, in their mind, to move on. A guy who is interested in someone who lost a fiancee will usually think that, if even subconsciously, he is going to always be compared with what she had before. Usually unfavorably. That then puts the guy in the proverbial " No Win Situation ". Interesting. I thank you for explaining that. I think it might happen to women too. It probably isn't exclusive to men. I think if people are feeling that way, they have some insecurities. My grandfather outlived 2 wives and married a third. Two of those wives buried a husband. Everything was just fine. That's life. I still don't understand why someone would say that to Daydreamer though. It was rude to me and almost like a put-down. |
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See what I mean. She blows up about anything.
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Good question. From a guy's perspective....There is usually an assumption that, when someone lost someone that close to them in an untimely manner, that person would then hold others up to an unreachable standard when the time has come for them, in their mind, to move on. A guy who is interested in someone who lost a fiancee will usually think that, if even subconsciously, he is going to always be compared with what she had before. Usually unfavorably. That then puts the guy in the proverbial " No Win Situation ". some people are bigger than that. I'm outta here. Ummm...I KNOW that. I wasn't referring to you specifically, Kim. I have talked to you enough to know better. Some guys, however, will never be convinced that anyone is better than that. |
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Hold your breath, Justaguy. The more you explain yourself, the more she'll be offended.
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Edited by
Winx
on
Wed 12/10/08 09:31 PM
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See what I mean. She blows up about anything. See my post.  You're being rude again now. |
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This may be insensitive, but I doubt she'll be pleased with any man since the perfect man has tragically passed away. it is insensitive. and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from mentioning my dead fiance. I never said he was perfect. I never said I'm looking for perfect. What matters is that he tried...we tried to be "perfect" for each other. Thank you for making me regret sharing any part of myself with another human being It should make getting beyond my past that much easier. I apologize, I did not mean the comment in a mean manner. I meant it to open your eyes. How does bringing up one's tragic past open up their eyes? Good question. From a guy's perspective....There is usually an assumption that, when someone lost someone that close to them in an untimely manner, that person would then hold others up to an unreachable standard when the time has come for them, in their mind, to move on. A guy who is interested in someone who lost a fiancee will usually think that, if even subconsciously, he is going to always be compared with what she had before. Usually unfavorably. That then puts the guy in the proverbial " No Win Situation ". I still don't understand why someone would say that to Daydreamer though. It was rude to me and almost like a put-down. Because some people can't understand the concept of shutting up even when they think it's for " the good " of someone. |
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Hold your breath, Justaguy. The more you explain yourself, the more she'll be offended. No. She won't. Mainly because she knows that NOTHING she ever says to me in private would ever be revealed in public by anyone other than her. |
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yeah I've really blown up.
had it occured to you that I know this is a sensitive issue and that I know that a man could be intimidated by this situation and that I know that I have to work to not idolize that realtionship and that these might be things that I would rather discuss with someone in private because I KNOW these things to be true? and maybe that's why I told you that your eyes should be open too? and JAG I wasn't talking about me being bigger than that I was talking about a man being bigger than that about someone believing in me enough to know that I would never let my past destroy my future and that loving him like I do is little more than a symptom of my capacity to love I don't want someone who can't see that in me. |
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Cheese 'n Rice, it's gotten tough in here :(
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So what exactly is the problem then?
Why are we in page 30+ (including the other thread) of trying to find you a guy? It is obviously you have a HUGE pool of guys to pick from? What is the problem? |
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You know...this is a thread made for fun and maybe to make 907 laugh a little and have a good time.
Regardless of anyones intention, certain subjects should just not be brought up in a public forum. If you have something to say....private mesage them. And then after you have upset that person...to berate them for getting upset at your obvious lack of respect for their persons personal life. That just makes you look like a fool. I'm sure talking about something thats hard to get over in an open forum thats made for dating is really going to help them get over it. |
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So what exactly is the problem then? Why are we in page 30+ (including the other thread) of trying to find you a guy? It is obviously you have a HUGE pool of guys to pick from? What is the problem? so everyone here who hasn't met someone has a problem? you're sure you want to pull at that thread? |
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You know...this is a thread made for fun and maybe to make 907 laugh a little and have a good time. Regardless of anyones intention, certain subjects should just not be brought up in a public forum. If you have something to say....private mesage them. And then after you have upset that person...to berate them for getting upset at your obvious lack of respect for their persons personal life. That just makes you look like a fool. I'm sure talking about something thats hard to get over in an open forum thats made for dating is really going to help them get over it. Welll excuuuuuuuussee me. Thanks for clueing me in that this is a joke thread. I really was trying to help her find a guy. Now that I know it's a joke, i'll be leaving. I was taking it serious the whole time. |
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Edited by
GeniuSxBoY
on
Wed 12/10/08 09:56 PM
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So what exactly is the problem then? Why are we in page 30+ (including the other thread) of trying to find you a guy? It is obviously you have a HUGE pool of guys to pick from? What is the problem? so everyone here who hasn't met someone has a problem? you're sure you want to pull at that thread? I don't even know why that other thread was banned and I don't want to know because if i know then you'll implicate me into something else which is untrue. |
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I don't think everyone here who hasn't found someone has a problem. Everything happens right on time.
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Edited by
Winx
on
Wed 12/10/08 10:04 PM
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So what exactly is the problem then? Why are we in page 30+ (including the other thread) of trying to find you a guy? It is obviously you have a HUGE pool of guys to pick from? What is the problem? so everyone here who hasn't met someone has a problem? you're sure you want to pull at that thread? I don't even know why that other thread was banned and I don't want to know because if i know then you'll implicate me into something else which is untrue. Stop it, please! You're badgering her now. Edited an untruth. |
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Oh great the histeria comes in with that comment. Thanks winx.
I did apologize. |
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