I would NEVER criticize a parent for not spanking or doing wrists slaps. Each is entitled to raise their own children as they deem appropriate. I would assume that many parents are able to get by using only "time outs" and no physical form of punishment whatsoever.

In fact my own brother has 4 children and both him and his wife utilize this method. They often have trouble with it but that is their choice.

My argument comes in the form of parents like Marty was describing in the library that do NOTHING in the face of a temper tantrum. That women should have gotten that child outside immediately. It was quite disrespectful of her. It is unacceptable to allow your own child to upset people in a library or any public area for 20 minutes.

Respect is a two way street.

Exactly what I said...she should have left immediately with her child. Role modeling...

we must have gone to the same elementary school..lol.I feel ya man. some of these kids today think it is all about who can be the badist. Wonder where they get that idea from?

Yes but the parents who do not utilize physical punishment will be the ones to exacerbate this type of behavior more often than not because they wont simply do a wrist slap. This woman obviously would not and she remained in the library.

That is the point of contention.

maybe she did not have much of a role model herself?

I'm the one that brought up spanking and I don't think it's a bad thing if it's not done in anger. There is a line that is crossed and then it's called abuse.

maybe she did not have much of a role model herself?



Clearly...or her model might have been the spanking parent and she doesn't want to be that person but hasn't figured out another option.

BTW - when I became single I had a 5yr old and a 6 week old...daycare was gonna be a huge issue so I quit my job and opened my own family daycare. I had as many as 8-10 kids in my house every day, all week, for 5 years (yeah, I know...I should either be sainted or committed!) The idea of establishing expectations and consequences that make sense worked for that full house - even kids who went home to different environments knew the rules and results at my house and followed them because kids are SMART and adaptable. The really cool thing is that a few of those kids are still in touch with me and we are now developing new adult relationships...so the legacy of this kind of childrearing can truly be beneficial and create long-lasting, respectful, and loving relationships. Just saying...

Spanking and wrist slaps are obviously not the same thing as stoning, beating a child senseless or utilizing a belt loop.

If she is not going to utilize anything other than a quiet whisper as a course of disciplinary action, then she needs to leave the library. She had that option and chose not to take it.

Yep...that's why it shouldn't be done in anger. I just happen to think it's pretty fine line, easily crossed, and I figured I was smart enough to come up with an alternative if I wasn't mad anymore :)

It's not meant to be a judgement on you, from my perspective. But for me, doing something else worked...

differences make this world go 'round, right?

When I was very young I received a spanking for doing something that could have been dangerous not only for me but also for others. I didn't understand how it was dangerous, but I did know that I was not supposed to even be where I was. The spanking came quickly from my father. He then explained the danger to me and that was why the rule was there for me in the first place. He never had to spank me again. When he told me not to do something as with most children I would ask the question"why". He would always take the time to give an explanation, it was never "cause I said so"

Again...she should have left immediately. We are totally in agreement on that!

Actaully - in that environment (library) anything other than than leaving or a single quiet whisper (that clearly didn't work!) wouldn't have been respectful to the other library patrons either.

In this case, the kid wasn't really the one with the worst behavior - and what did the parent teach? NOTHING about respecting others.

Well you were lucky then! "cause I said so" was standard rhetoric in my house, as was the "do as I say, not as I do" speech.

Is it any wonder I've got such a distaste for the people who demand respect from their kids without giving it or who don't role-model good behavior?

Well like you say, you are entitled to your child rearing beliefs. I would simply agree with the consensus that spanking and wrist slaps within reason, is perfectly acceptable. It enforces respect of others and the premise behind the repercussion of one's own actions.

I will always try to respct ya sweety

I just remembered something kinda funny: "Our children is Gods way at getting back at us"

Most of the time I found it sufficient to talk to my son and explain things in simple terms, although I resolved to a slap on the butt when he threw a temper in public and wouldn't back off. He has grown up to be a considerate young man.

I still don't disagree with you. I just think that a spanking or wrist slap in the library would still have been more noise, drama, crying, etc (disrespectful of other patrons) than would be appropriate for that particular location.

You and I both agree she should have left with the kid.

Thanks, babe!

Then I must have been very, very good...
I got gems!