Attack of the Veggies or Purple Death, Milky white center!

I have a very good friend with an absolute hatred for eggplant. While talking one day I admitted to her that I hated Lima beans. In fact, I'd had a hatred for all things Lima since I'd been a little boy. We agreed that if the two were to combine into one, they would form the most hideous substance in the world.

On that note, I wrote this:


Once upon a time, not long ago,
when people lived in huts and grew their food in rows.


There was a little town called South Hampton by the Sea,
And all the people there lived in extasy!


But there upon a hill in a house made of wood,
there lived an evil scientist whos heart was no good.

The folks in that there town had made fun of him you see,
and it was in his head to let them feel his misery.


So he decided to make a monster that would make them die of fright,
but couldn't think of nothin' scary enough, (he really wasn't bright).


So he asked his little nephew, "Hey just what is grossest to you?"
And his nephew promptly told him, "Eggplant and Lima beans EWWW."


"Aha", thought the Mad Scientist, "Now I have to the plan!"
"I'll make an evil veggie out of Eggplant, Beans and sand!"


So for days he toiled and and suffered in his workshop under ground,
Until he finally finished and his monster came around!


Out the door he pushed it and he pointed at the village,
"Kill yon mean old people, Smush them, smash and then PILLAGE!"


12 feet of purple Eggplant walked, on legs like collared greens!
And everywhere it went all the people were heard to scream!


"Save us from this evil! Oh God help us were in need!"
"We're sorry evil scientist for all our evil deeds!"

Then out of one small house came a little peasant girl.
She looked at the evil eggplant and her eyes began to swirl.


"I hate eggplants." She screamed, "And you promised me, oh mother!"
"That never again would I eat one, just the thought does make me smother!"


And with that she ran up on it and she slapped it with her hand,
And out gushed milky bean juice, purple mush and then some sand!


"You saved us little girl! You turned that monster into GOOK!"
"I do not like eggplant," she said, "They simply make me PUKE!"


The moral of this story is, there is no sense in it,
Except that Eggplants and Lima beans will always taste like ****!