This made me laugh so hard, I nearly p**d in my pants!


*...* *Think before you speak*

Here are six reasons why you should think before you
speak - the last one is
great! Have you ever spoken and wished that you
could immediately take the
words back... or that you could crawl into a hole?
Here are the Testimonials
of a few people who did....

*FIRST TESTIMONY:* I walked into a hair salon with
my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went
back. My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.
>
> *SECOND TESTIMONY:* I was at the golf store
> comparing different kinds of
> golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I
> had been using. After
> browsing for several minutes, I was approached by
> one of the good-looking
> gentlemen who works at the store. He asked if he
> could help me. Without
> thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like
> playing with men's
> balls."
>
> *THIRD TESTIMONY:* My sister and I were at the mall
> and passed by a store
> that sold a variety of candy and nuts. As we were
> looking at the display
> case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed
> any help. I replied,
> "No, I'm just looking at your nuts." My sister
> started to laugh
> hysterically. The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red
> and walked away. To
> this day, my sister has never let me forget.
>
> *FOURTH TESTIMONY** :*While in line at the bank one
> afternoon, my toddler
> decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
> I was finally able to
> grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust
> and annoyance from other
> patrons. I told her that if she did not start
> behaving "right now" she would
> be punished. To my horror, she looked me in the eye
> and said in a voice just
> as threatening, "If you don't let me go right now, I
> will tell Grandma that
> I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!" The
> silence was deafening
> after this enlightening exchange. Even the tellers
> stopped what they were
> doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and
> walked out of the bank with
> my daughter in tow. The last thing I heard when the
> door closed behind me, were
> screams of laughter.
>
> *FIFTH TESTIMONY:* Have you ever asked your child a
> question too many times?
> My three year-old son had a lot of problems with
> potty training and I was on
> him constantly. One day we stopped at Taco Bell for
> a quick lunch in between
> errands. It was very busy, with a full dining room.
> While enjoying my taco, I
> smelled something funny, so of course I checked my
> seven-month-old daughter,
> she was clean. The realized that Danny had not asked
> to go potty in a while.
> I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No". I
> kept thinking "Oh Lord,
> that child has had an accident, and I don't have any
> clothes with me." Then
> I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an
> accident?" "No," he replied. I
> just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
> the smell was getting
> worse. Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny, did
> you have an accident?" This
> time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over,
> spread his cheeks and
> yelled "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!" While 30 people
> nearly choked to death
> on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his
> pants and sat down. An old
> couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best
> laugh they'd ever had!
>
> *LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:* This had most of the
> state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and
> a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in
> the future, likely think
> before she speaks. What happens when you predict
> snow but don't get any? We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was
> supposed to have snowed
> and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked: "So
> Bob, where's that 8
> inches you promised me last night?" Not only did HE
> have to leave the set, but
> half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!
>
> *Now, didn't that feel good? **Pass it on to someone
> you know who needs a
> laugh **and remember* *we all say things we don't
> really mean, **so think
> before you speak*

Now those were funny, thanks Alada

Thanks for the laugh, I needed that.

EXCELLENT .... THX for the giggle ... :)

OMG

too dang funny alada