My child, my soul, my heart, my hurt...
Where were you when I needed you?
Always a father I sought,
rejection was what I found.

Non-verbal, non-committal, unresponsive, unfeeling.
Where were my lessons?
Where was my knights training?

Young man sent crashing into the world.
Hell-bent on getting by,
Heart rent but never cried.
At some point my father died.

Love me I begged, when I saw my friend's Dad's,
resenting them deeply, never realizing how sad.

At thirty I became what I never had.
No experience had I at being a Dad.
Praise God, my King, for rescuing me,
and making me the father I never did see.

My son, my child, my heart, never hurt.
for you to know God is my life's work.
The man Im to be is because of you.
Seeking God in my life, one of the manly few.

Dis-jointed and random are my thoughts.
The thoughts of a man in the brain of a child, in the mind of a teen.
Never bad for long because my spirit is filled.

Forgiven daily, my job also is to forgive, to learn to trust, to teach to forgive.
To live, to give, my heart is Christ's bedroom but my mind is a wordly sieve.

Clearly I think jumbled thoughts.
All my ducks are in a row except for one that cannot swim.
It sinks instead.

Dead.

And up jumps God's Holy Ghost to ressurect it and again my mind is mine.

Forgive me King for not forgiving.
Forgive me 7 x 70 for not thinking heavenly.
My hero, the man I sought as a child was always there.
Why did I fear?
He held me dear,
eyes filled with tears.

www.datinginsanity.blogspot.com

He is always there. He will never leave us nor forsake us. I am so thankful for His unconditional, neverending love. His mercy and grace is amazing. People will fail us, but He never will. God Bless~