(((Cat))) She's only 12 years old!!

i know i know i know i know winx.

i remind her everyday.

shes in seventh grade.
mmonumental turning/changing point in HER life.


i dont want this boyfriend of hers.
or any boyfriend ever.

shes MY LITTLE GIRL.

You pay for her to go to a public school?! They're free here.

And you get to pick which one they can go too?! Not here.

Ohhh...((Cat)).

Cat, we have our children in common. I don't think that I'm capable of doing what you're doing. Thank god, I don't even have to think about it.

I had my first bf the summer of 8th grade. My mom put a stop to that real quick.

i dont pick her school. i do pick the area i live in. and i live in a very decent school district.

and yes we pay for school enrollment.
about a hundred bucks per kid.

I heard this yesterday from someone else.

Our public schools are totally free. Taxes pay for it.

I don't send mine there though.

ya, i know. Im not sure what is up with that. Even when i was a kid, i remember my mom paying for our enrollment.

i also know ohio and texas....you dont have to pay for school enrollment.

im not sure where our tuition money goes or why we pay and other states dont. i dont get it

Maybe you have lower taxes since the schools aren't free.

we build a lot. schools. football stadiums.

the are i live in has 7 elementary schools, 2 intermediate schools, 2 jr highs, and a big big high school. her school is brand new this year.

this is why her and her boyfriend are seperated. he goes to the other jr high in our district.

My daughters are not allowed to have boyfriends until they are 16, and how in the world does a child of 12 know he is bisexual and all that other stuff you said about him. I would worry about him having some kind of abuse around him for him to think all that. I would also be careful where you let her go with him, like to his house.

LOVE???? at 12?????? that's all I'm going to say....

Oh and if he is willing to tell your daughter that he let a guy do this or that....don't you think he is asking your daughter to do the same?

Just some thoughts.

oh i had no idea that she was 12 but if hes smokin at 12 thats no good for me it was like 17 i started to smoke i jus wanted to try it an liked it kinda like experimenting i guess but if he already smokes wat will he "experiment" with wen hes older

yes shes 12. and shes beautiful. and outgoing and funny and extremly intelligent. and im not saying that as a parent. shes not an ugly duckling waiting to bloom...she already HAS!

of COURSE boys are going to flock after her and fall in love with her.

i know its very troubling. i know this boy would try to put pressure on her to have sex at some point if the relationship continues.

what I DONT KNOW is how to stop the relationship. without pushing her more towards him.

actually since ive been nicer about the whole thing...i think shes sometimes has less feelings for him.


ya she knows about these things. omg shes 12 okay not DUMB. she watches tv. i watch tv with her. i pay attention to what goes on in her life and what her friends are doing.

do u think most twelve year olds tell their moms this stuff??? i am betting NOWAY.

am i in over my head?? heck YA. i got a beautiful almost teenage DAUGHTER.

easy for you all to say. get a restraining order. forbid your daughter to date.

easier said than done.

I have a 12 year old neice and she knows A LOT about sex and stuff. She learns it at school from other kids. All you can do it be there for her, answer her questions. When I was her age, I had a diary and it was filled with I love so and so, then marked out his name, then put another name, then marked that out......

She will get over him, just give her some time and be there for her.

OK I gave an example. Never did I say you should or you have to put a restraining order on this boy. That was what my mother chose to do with an 18 year old who was dating a 14 year old. She gave us the chance to stop it and we both ignored her so she took that extra step. I dont even know if they would put a restraining order on a 12 year old child....

As a parent you do have the right to what she does and does not do. You can allow this to continue if you choose. You can take away the priviledges she has that allows her to talk to this boy. If she sneaks and gets caught you can ground her. In the end it is your choice how you handle this situation.

Cat,

It can be done. Yes, you can forbid her to date. Disconnect the computer. Take away the cell. You can put your foot down and tell her that she's too young and it ain't happen'.

I was grounded for a month the summer of 8th grade for a boy.
It sure wasn't worth seeing him again.

I was so too worth it Winx.

she is 12 wen i was 12 i wasnt allowed to date and i didnt no the first thing about drugs or no anyone that did. i mean maybe stuff changed in 7 years but i jus don understand how she knows wat love is or how she could no a bi kid her age. im not bashing on u im bashing on the times and wat the world does to the kids well later have to depend on

I have an idea

For what it's worth, as I am not a parent...



But how about you cut a deal with her?

If you catch her sneaking around. Or lying, or doing things that you and she both know are wrong and underhanded, she is then going to be without every priviledge she ever had

Even to go so far as you broke the rules, you no longer make SMALL decisions such as what clothes to buy, bring bagged lunches YOU make to school, homework times, going over to friends' houses, all that stuff she takes for granted will be GONE because she disrespected you and your rules. No phone calls that you aren't listening in to, no internet time that you aren't sitting right there with her. Whatever it takes for her to know that putting a toe out of line will make you her worst nightmare!


Invite him over for supper, and tell her it's a one time shot--if he screws up, thats it. No more coming over. EVER.

IMO dating age is older than 12. I don't know if they have gone on dates, but it's not uncommon for kids that age to "date" with a parent in attendance. It seems backwards, but maybe if they (under supervision) see each other more, they will like each other less, and eventually drift apart? Absence may be making the young hearts' grow fonder...

Encourage her to be involved in after school activities where she can meet a large variety of people, maybe to reinforce in her mind that she has a large selection out there for young romances...

What I wonder is, how she got this into her head that she needs to reform this boy and mold him into something that everyone loves? And what is this going to do to this poor boy if he turns into something everyone ELSE wants, but isn't true to himself? He is a tender developmental age, and to have people saying do this not that and cry and yell at him to punish him may be more damaging than anyone could realise...

I DO wish you luck with this, it is a sticky situation for sure!

You are doing the right thing IMO of NOT laughing at her and minimising your perception of her feelings, diminishing them in your eyes do you know what I mean? Being open with you about her feelings for this boy means you have done right so far in raising her to TRUST you...That doesn't happen NEAR often enough so kudos to you! Parents to make their children feel silly and that their emotions are beneath "normal" people's notice due to age/maturity levels should be kicked, and then have the same thing happen to them, see how it feels!

Oh and that "she needs a parent--not a friend" saying? Drives me nuts. If more kids felt like their parent WAS a friend TOO...more bonding and trust would happen, and far less rebellion and problems.

I bet you were.