I have a room mate who is married to a great lady. She has her own problems (who doesnt?) and she does need medical attention for them (but again who doesnt? lol).
Before she left to go back home to Georgia (financial reasons, plus he is getting ready to deploy in January), she gave him permission to find himself a "buddy". Now, we all know what that means. We also know, that being a typical young male, he did just that.

Now, before I go further, ler me state that I dont have a porblem with people having an "open marriage" or anything like that. It's nothing I would ever agree to, and it goes against mymoral beliefs, but it is not my place to judge.

Anyway, I ended up kicking his "buddy" out on Sunday due to her not paying her part of the rent, and never picking naything up or helping with general household chores. My room mate had to pay her part of the rent (not because I required it so much, but because I didnt ave it to cover it). For the last two months I have forked over almost two thousand dolalrs between rent, food and other living expenses.

Since his wife moved down to Georgia (and again it was comletely amicable; with him deploying and such they simply moved the move up a couple months when they had a good offer for rent and such down there), she has decided she doesnt like the idea of an open marriage, and asked him to stop. He has told her he would, that he understands and everything, but guess what? You got it, he hasnt. and he doesnt intend to either.
He has led his wife on the past two months, telling her he is going to be doing any number of things that he doesnt do, to include getting a reassignment in the military (which he qualifies for due to her health). He has started getting aggravated and angry with her for always calling him; which on a side note, I can understand to a point as she calls when he is on duty (knwing he is on duty), and she is always nagging and harping about money. Her medical issues, I have lived with with my ex wife, and so I know first hand wha he is dealing with. But it still doesnt excuse his treating her like crap, yelling all the time at her, blaming her for everything, and then today losing his temper and telling her tha maybe she would just be better off if he came home from afghanistan in a box, that way he would have the money from the insurancep olicy.

I grant ya, he is frustrated. I would be in his circumstances too. But he needs counseling (in my mind), he needs to leave the whore (excuse me ladies, there is no other way to truly describe this person; she is someone who literally prays on servicemen to get at their money) and be faithful to his wife, and probably with the stress he is dealing with, and his inability to cope with it, he needs to get out of the army (which anyone who knows me, I am a veteran and I would not lightly reccomend that), which again like the reasignment he qualifies for.

little ole me in the middle of all this, I am trying to be a good friend to him, he is like a brother to me, I am rying to get the girlfriend away, but if he continues on this path, I am going to have to ask him to leave as well.

What would you do in this situation? And keep in mind he IS a good friend.

Daniel I think you in a tough situation... I would talk to him and tell him all of this before I kicked him out... Besides the fact that he may want to leave, you may need to do some planning if you can't afford the rent on your own...

oh I intend on tlaking with him about it no matter what, and I am already working on the rent as like I said he is leaving in January no matter what.

It's just that the whole situation really gets me steamed as I am sitting here every day wishing I could be with the one I loveand dream of nightly, and he is throwing it all way. I know he has his problems and trouble dealing with them, I mean I been through it myself almost identical (except for the girlfriend part).

I would call a trusted friend who would tell me to back off, let them sort out their own sh*t,and focus on living my own life..hey you asked

lol, yes I DID ask, and thats exactly what IU would do except that it is flowing over into my life without my being able to prevent it, which is one reason I may have to ask him to leave, althoguh I dont want to.

There is no quick fix to what you're dealing with. The best thing to do is confront him about it without the harpy around. You and him without his wife or his "buddy"

If you can't make clear what this girl is doing to his relationship with you and his wife as well as his own checking account then he is on the road to ruin. You have to take a few separate occasions to tell him these things as sometimes things don't take the first 40 times we say them.

Now on time #41 (I'll assume your patience ran out long before but that's the hypothetical number) you're going to have to draw the line and tell your very good friend where the rubber meets the road. Make it clear what you will and will not tolerate. If you doubt him at his word given his behavior when you ask him to get the leech out of there and he promises to do exactly that then demand immediate results. If not then you don't have a choice because a good friend is not going to abuse your hospitality or trust. You'll have to kick them both to the curb and be firm about it or you can cause more soap opera drama than you want to deal with.

That's my take and I hope it helps.

A long talk with your friend is in order, sweetie.....Things have to be straightened out in all areas of his life and it would be hard losing a friend like you.....

oh come on now bro, I wanted you to just snap those magic fingers of yours for me and make it all go away (accept for me being with the love of my life that is, lol; you taker her away you and I will be doing more than snapping fingers )

well I agree that she shouldn't call when he's working,but maybe just maybe,she has an hinky fee;ing that he's not stopped all the things he daid he has,and also thats maybe another reason hes so short tempered of late,,but yes they definately need to talk and either work some things out of go there own ways..

I have started the "40 hits to the head talk" with him already, but so far he doesnt wanna admit it, and he take soffense at basically being told to grow up (no I do not tell him that so buntly and crudely). There are times he will admit that that he knows what the gf is doing to his relationship with his wife and that he needs to stop, but he wont do so.