I wanna hear from guys and girls on this one. How do you snap out of feeling like every new person u meet will cheat or deceive you? I have some friends that have some serious trust issues and I have to say I have a few myself. I can only speak for myself when I say that it is not fair to someone new, so how do u stop that?

I don't know, I'm trying to do that myself.

It just seems like drastic measures are in store. I actually broke a girlfriends cell phone and me and another girlfriend had to hold her down and take her keys because her man got a night out with his friends and she wanted to go make sure he was behaving. Good friends may help. I'm new up here though and I choose my friends carefully. So it's just me now

Trust No one!!!!

Most of the time, I get a good or bad feeling when I meet someone. I watch people alot!!! I dont just yap all the time!!!!

Every person is different so there is not just an across the board cookie cutter answer.

Everyone has trust issues of some kind. But if you truly want to be in a relationship you have to just get over them- toss them out the window. You have to believe that not everyone is gonna hurt you or cheat on you. Not everyone is like the person or persons who made you feel like that.

Its a crap shoot- you just have to be willing to take the chance

i know- not much help but its my opinion

time is the only thing you can give yourself and the other person

I lost a 16 year marrage over that because she cheated,,and then in relationships I have been done that to..
So to me,,,TRUST has to be EARNED. Then its all up-hill.
But if WALLS come up as to any questions that arise,,,I am thinking to much again....and its because of what I,or (we) have had happen to us..If they really love you.
They should be aware of your past and know your asking because of your own hidden fears. Once the fear has been shown to just be that,,its all good. Good luck.

How do you trust new people, actually you don't like you don't mistrust them since they are new we have no basis to put an opinion on them so you have to give the person a chance and also keep your eyes open.

In my last relationship I gave him all the trust I could muster up. I put myself WAY out on the line. I was more into it then ever before and he blew it. I am grateful that I can see people for who they are, but that one really fooled me and it seems like time and faith in the next person would help tremendously.

Some people are born to lie and cheat and whatever expert we think we are in seeing them they would fool us 95% of the time. I am sorry he fooled your trust and I hope that next time you find someone with his heart in the right place.

Well thank you. I do appreciate that. Unfortunately for him his best friend of 20 yrs took quite a liking to me and since we have become friends. In many instances he has told me that it is just the way he has always been and will always be. Too bad he didn't warn me before moving in and all that stuff that was supposed to be good!

That also makes me wonder. Is it wrong for a friend of 20 yrs to bash his friend yet still remain close friends with him? This guy actually tells my ex all the bad things he has told me and of course my ex is fine with it as long as his new girlfriend doesn't find out until it is her turn.

Speaking for myself -- I don't have an answer as I'm still working on that very issue. My breakup last year still has me twisted. I want to trust in someone new, but it's hard. Sorry I don't have something positive to give you except keep trying; there is someone out there for all of us -- I hope so anyway. Good luck to you.

I have ended friendship because they were cheating on their partner it is something I do not accept even from my best friend or family and would tell someone if she or he asked, but that is me. As for bashing a friend and still being friends with them I don't think so because if someone you know is bashing a friend guess what they are you doing when your not there, I don't like two face people.

All I can tell you is what I did, I chose to put my faith in people. It's not easy sometimes, but it is possible. I'm cautious, of course, when meeting someone new but I make the choice to assume that they are as trustworthy as I am. Since I made that choice, I have found that more often than not, it's the right choice.

i think communication is the key... communicate this with your new partner... as you are here... if they really care they will listen and be sensitive to things that may bother you.... in return you will notice this effort and become to trust cause they show u that they care...

It does sound like the right choice to me. What I struggle with is the execution. I have not had too many instances in which I have been terribly hurt but the couple of times it has happened in my life have really scared me and at the same time allowed me to feel serious emotional pain and it affected my self esteem. I really cant wait to try again but I find I'm so picky now

forgiveness is the key.... forgive those that have done you wrong......no not for them, but so that you may move on!!!!
you have no control over the actions of others.....

Don't care until it happens, when a rumor swirls...it is but that, a rumor. I've moved past the childish 'jump to assumption', I will ask if I have a question.

Sez the woman with the 86 thousand post count....lmao

You can't just put a halt to not trusting people. There is a reason you don't trust easily.

To just stop being cautious is only setting yourself up for the same kind of crap to happen again.

The trick is to learn from the mistakes, be cautious, but not to the point where you don't allow anyone close.