My six year old son was playing with his breakfast (again!) and knocked it over all over the floor (again!!!). I have been battling this with him on and off for as long as I can remember now; he knows he is not supposed to play atthe table, he knows that food costs money that we dont have a lot of (at least as much as any six year old does), and he knows it makes me upset when he does it.

For now, I simply told him I have had enough of this issue and he is not getting another bowl of cereal (thats what he dropped). I fully intend on giving him a snack in a little while (an apple or something) but I do NOT feel I should replace his breakfast, as it only teaches him that he can continue this issue without worrying about wether or not he will have a full meal after wasting the food.

And dont get me wrong, if it had been an honost accident I wouldnt be so upset and tired of it, but as I said this is a continual issue (3 and 4 times a week).

hmmm.. kids usually tend to play with food they don't like. Perhaps he's not liking that kind of cereal? Switch things up...make pancakes, french toast, eggs. Just a suggestion.

he does this with all his food. And he absolutely loves his chereos (he'll throw a fit if he doesnt get them).

Sounds as though he is just needing some extra attention...doing bad things is what a child uses to get that...if they are bad, they know you will pay attention

Well then take away the Cheerios. If that is something he likes, then just tell him the only way he's gonna get it is if he starts using proper table manners.

he knows it makes me upset when he does it.




This , why he does it.......You have given him "POWER"

i would suggest cutting the portions done to a minamal amount

instead of a bowl of cereal maybe get a 4 oz measuring cup

and give them that much not to the top and put a little milk on the side

and tell them eat that you can have more and if ya spill it ya get nothing till lunch

and same with anything else

it could be his metabolism is he need not a lot of fuel

thus he eats a little and plays with the rest

you put a gallon of fuel in a dump truck ya get down the road

ya put a gallon of fuel in a metro you get to town and back

well maybe he is the metro and needs less food

(after all if he eats enough to get to town and only goes to the neighbors then the extra fuel is wasted; and turns to fat and could lead to health issues in the future)

and maybe later after the issue is passed in his mind take him in the other room and sit and tell him a story make him want to talk (ask him what he thinks will happen in the story)

when he gets to talking get him to open up as best he can to let you know what is bothering him

watch for lil tell tell signs of irritations holding belly grabbing ears favoring one limb and avoiding using another

has anyone new come into his life since this behavior became an issue

good luck and be well

just a thought

but hey

what do i know

I agree, don't deprive him, of course, but make it a reward for doing what he's supposed to. And, if you do decide to say, you know what, no more cereal, it never kills kids to miss a meal. They may not like it much but unless there's a health reason they NEED to eat at certain times, it might help reinforce what you're saying. He'll learn quickly enough that if he's gonna play, he won't eat.

this is pretty much the stance I took this morning, figuring if he goes hungry for the morning (he got an early lunch) then maybe he will start beingmore responsible next time.

I appreciate everyones responses and anyone else who wants to add, please do so. The more opinions I get the better decisions I can make later on.

Go to the local library and check out the nanny911 book.. they have lots of helpful suggestions on stuff like this. I'm not being rude here. they really do.

When my oldest did this, I took it away and she didn't get anything until the next mealtime. She was warned ahead of time that this would happen.(trust me they will live) And at the next mealtime prior to getting the food she was reminded that it would happen again if she did it again... what do you know.. the behavior started to decrease with my consistancy.

just a word of caution.. it will get worse before it gets better. so be consistant.

Does he have to clean up his mess?

yay Finally A voice of sense!

I was reading this thread, asking the same question...

A young child requires learning how to be a responsible and healthy contributer to society, at home amongst primary carers and siblings.

How to do this?

To be held accountable for one's actions.

Make a mess... clean up a mess... no growling at the child, and no negotiation...

It will be cleaned up by 6 year old standards... but it is the effort that counts, at this age.

HI FIRST I WANNA SAY NEVER FEEL BAD ABOUT THE RULES U PUT IN PLACE. AND WANTED TO ASK DOSE HE EAT ALONE OR WITH U (AT SAME TABLE)?

I agree, Jess.

A child makes a mess - they have to clean it up (age appropriate).

It kind of takes the fun out of making the mess too.

I was just wondering the same thing about whether or not you're sitting at the table with him.


Learned that my son who is 3 eats much better and cleaner if I take the time to just sit down with them at the table while they are eating, true you could be getting so much else done but in the big scheme of things that extra 10 minutes could save you a lot of hassle.

And helping to clean up the mess is a big thing. Both of my kids 3 and 8 have chores and are expected to clean up the messes they make (within reason)

Power plays about food are a normal part of developement. And very predictable with six year olds that are starting to get the idea of choices, doing things for themselves, and have a varying appetite.

If breakfast is a battle field it is probably because that time of the day is usually choatic.

Children may or may not be slept out. A child that is difficult in the morning is most likely in need of a earlier bedtime.

A child that is not hungry is not going to be eager for breakfast. Cereal might be his favorite but it doesn't generate a lot of appetite because there isn't a lot of aroma. Early in the morning his system may just not be hungry yet. If a child has consumed a cup of milk, or other food such a a banana his appetite might be satisfied. A child consumes no more than his two fists comfortably so once they hit that level they are more likely to play.

If six year old child consistently dumps his breakfast he is playing war with the only weapons he knows and the only toys at hand. It is fun to engage your attention in a game. He doesn't have the maturity to grasp the concept of budgets, waste, worl hunger, or that if he doesn't eat he is going to be really hungry. When he is he will just be miserable and not make the association. He does know if he makes a mess you come and put on a show, release him to go play, maybe change his clothes. He got the cheerios he wanted but he didn't want to eat them.

What may make breakfast time a little easier; besides smaller portions, is letting him set the table, put the cereal in the bowl, and pour a small pitcher of milk on the cereal. A thicker handle spoon may make eating cereal easier. But don't tell your child to eat, hurry up, or that you are going to take it away, or force them to eat it later. Because then you are giving them power to refuse and give them attention for something you don't want. Absolutely do NOT offer something else later. Kids are smart and a six year old that knows he has options knows if he can't engage you at the breakfast table he can do it later if you teach him that is what is going to happen.

Good Luck! Enjoy this power play it is easier than the next one. At least a kid gets hungry. Try motivateing a kid to do homework.

Will add having a family meal time is important. Expecting a child to sit down and eat a meal with calm and manners if you are jumping up and down or never sit down is pretty futile. Children learn what they live; includeing cleaning up their own dishes.

I think you did right. If he dumps it, take it away and don't replace it. I wouldn't give him a snack, because it will only give him a reason to play with his lunch, because he won't be as hungry. If he is hungry at lunch he will more likely eat then. It won't hurt him at all to be hungry for a little while. It might take a few times of taking the food away for him to realize he will be hungry if I play with my food, and dump it on the floor. He is not the first I have heard of doing this, and this was the advice given and more than one occasion. He'll learn, but you have to follow through, no snacks. I always told my girls, you don't eat now, then you can't have snacks between meals. They would eat better the next meal.

Then take the power back!

I would make him wait until lunch, but the problem is BIG BROTHER. It is considered neglect in a lot of places now to make a child to go without a meal for ANY reason, even if he or she chooses to throw it on the floor. I have even read of cases where cps ot involved cause I child refused to eat what was given to them cause they did not like it, and the parent refused to make a different meal for them.

Big Brother is not sitting at your breakfast table.

Trust me, the fun will be gone if he has to clean up his own mess at his age capability, of course.