Ok single parents.......please tell me I'm not the only one to feel this way. Brief history...

I have 2 children, twin girls, 11 years old. One is severely disabled (globally affected) on a feeding tube, uses a wheelchair etc. and has the most precious laugh you'll ever hear. I have a nurse who helps me out in the mornings to get the kids on the bus and at least a couple evenings a week for all her special needs care. The other is my typically developing kiddo who has had some major health issues this year including a ruptured appendix and some weight gain issues that we still haven't gotten to the source of. She is a very smart and outspoken young girl who keeps me on my parenting toes!

Anyhow, lately.....I am feeling as though I will NEVER be on top of everything. I work a job and a 1/2, still home every evening and yet can't seem to keep track of all that needs done. I find papers weeks later where we have missed a cool program at the school or the book fair and stuff like this. I don't spend near enough one on one time with the kids just taking walks or playing a game because there is always something that has to be done around the house or yard or whatever and even then I don't feel I get that done completely! Also, I spend WAY too much time on the computer after they go to bed. I could be using that time to catch up on everything else I feel I don't get done to my satisfaction like organizing stuff, making sure bills are paid on time or actually sleeping (haha on sleep!).

Oh, btw......the kids dad has totally run away from their lives in the last 10 months and rarely sees them, although we try to encourage as much contact as possible. He's basically just given up on any responsibility he has past paying child support. My mom is newly re-married and is a great grandma but not in the way of like an every day help type grandma. My good friends, which I have quite a few of, are all very busy with their own kids and personal issues to deal with.

I'm rambling here and giving way too much personal information but my point in all this is.......does anyone else get overwhelmed like I do? Do you have strategies you use to keep you on track? Do you ever get overwhelmed to the point where it is hard to get ONE SINGLE THING done? Just exactly how does one person deal with all this alone?

It is hard to do this all on your own but you have to remember you can only do so much- Stop putting pressure on yourself to get all of it done!!!

Are the girls fed? clean? clothed, happy,loved? these are all important- the other stuff can get done later or whenever.

You will make yourself crazy thinking about all the stuff that needs to be done- it'll get done when you can do it- being a single parent is hard- being a single parent of special needs kids is harder

Just think of all the things you have accomplished and what you get done on a daily basis and what a great parent you are and stop sweating the small stuff.

need a pep talk? email me

Wow you do have a lot on your plate and I thought I was feeling overwhelmed. I understand completely as a single working mom of a toddler. All of my family lives out of state and her father and his family are no support at all. It's very difficult at times and I can't even begin to imagine your situation. I feel you. I guess the only bit of advice I can give is something I tell myself daily. Look at the tree not the forest. Good Luck!

I will be emailing you shortly. Pep talk indeed I think is needed..haha.

Thank you for picking this to be your first post. I agree looking at one thing at a time. I guess it's hard right now deciding which thing to pick! Thanks for the support. Sometimes it just helps to know others get overwhelmed too.

Dang, woman!! You do have an over-loaded plate!!! It's hard enough being a single working mom but you definitely got more than your share.
If nothing else, I hope it helped to vent on here. Try not to be so hard on yourself. Do try to get the bills out, though, in a timely manner. Otherwise, let the dust bunnies collect dust bunnies and try not to feel like you are not getting anywhere. Just getting day to day and surviving is good enough!! And, the kids must know you are doing the best you can with what you've got!

Thank you. It does help to get it out on paper, if nothing more than to see how whiny I sound...haha. My one kiddo esp. seems to think I have a hundred hands that can do 5 hundred things at once. I hope she grows up to appreciate the fact that her mom tried her best.

Wow, that's a lot for one person to deal with. I have enough problems with my three kids without health issues. My heart really goes out to you. Are there other parents with special needs kids in your area? A support group maybe? Are their community resources you can make use of? Well, i wish you all the best. I hope you can find some help because you sure could use it.

I think I do need to find some more community resources. Specifically a caregiver for a weekend night out once in awhile. I hate taking more time away from the kids, but I can't continue feeling this way. Not good for any of us. I did much better when the kids had a couple weekend a month with their dad and I could catch up on stuff and go on an occasional date! I always felt refreshed and ready to continue on after a day or two alone. Thank you for posting. I don't want this to sound like attention seeking, but rather just stating some frustrations. I know there are others out there feeling like me.

Well, it's kind of like when you get on the plane and the stewardess shows you the breathing apparatus. She tells you to take care of yourself FIRST so you CAN then take care of your children. If you don't take some "me time" once in a while, you will be of less help and use as a parent.

Great analogy that. Good advice too.

My heart goes out to you Heather. I know I feel overwhelmed at times too, especially when I have to work and feel like I'm not there for my daughter as much as I need to be.

I remember when she was a toddler and I had a routine where I would get off work at 5, pick her up from daycare, cook supper, clean up the house, give her a bath which after doing all that left me with about 20 of quality time to spend with her before I put her to bed. I felt so guilty because I felt like I wasn't spending enough quality time with her. So I took a look at what could wait and decided that I could do the housework after she went to bed. That left me with a lot more time on my hands to spend with her.

Maybe you could do that too. Maybe the housework could wait a little while, or yard work, you know things like that. You did also say that you spend too much time on the computer after they went to bed, so maybe you could take that time to get a couple of things done that you would normally do during the day, and after you are finished, then get on the computer. Maybe you could make out a schedule of doing certain chores on certain days.

I think the biggest thing when we get overwhelmed, whether by being a parent or just by general things in life, is to take a look at our life and see what things are causing us to be that way. See if it can either be eliminated or altered. I hope this helps.

Thanks Carmen......I think your right about a schedule. I tend to overdo in the housework arena anyhow. If i just picked the nights when the nurse is here and do the chores then, I wouldn't have to do them on the the other nights. Who cares if a few crumbs are laying around or whatever? (although it drives me nuts!) I always have had a terrible time sticking to schedules, but I think it could be helpful. I'm hosting Thanksgiving and I've already been thinking how in the world I'm going to deep clean the house....haha.

I had a great email session with a friend and it helped tremendously. It def. does help to reach out and I thank you guys for allowing me to vent.

You're welcome Heather