OK, I'll admit it, I'm new to the online thing.

Seems like a good way for people to meet to me so I filled out the profile, have a few matches, and did some introductory writing.

I've had a couple of the letters read, or at least thats what the notice says, and then, nothing, nada, not a no thank you, please don't write again, or maybe.

I'm really not that impatient, its just if I'm doing something that falls out of the un-written code of conduct, I really need to know before I write everyone in this part of the country and do it wrong LOL, so I'm gonna ask.


What does it mean when someone matches here?

Isn't it the idea to invite a more personal intro when you match someone?

When someone writes to a match, should an answer be expected even if its no thanks?

Anything else I might not be doing according to Hoyle?

Bless your heart. You ARE doing it the right way. The others you write to are not. Don't take it personally, unless you came on strong or were obnoxious.
Really, getting known on the forums helps you get to know others, too, in a different way. Mutual Match is the brunt of a lot of jokes on here. And, some people click THINKING they might be interested but run scared at the reality.

i must say, i absolutely love your picture!

that would be entirely to logical and reasonable therefore it just can't work that way

Seems like a pretty logical course of action so far. I myself have yet to get a reply to an email either, and I'm not even sending forward relationship starting sort of emails, just casual conversation.

Ah I see,

Maybe I should think of it as a, "lets look at pictures" kind of thing and nothing more than that.

This is pretty much SOP, from my own personal experience and what many, many others have told me.

What I discovered was that you have to post in the forums to get yourself known. Once I had been here awhile, and had racked up some forum posts, had established some sort of reputation (I guess), people started writing to me.

Prior to that, I had sent out some e-mails and NEVER got a reply. Not one.

And I'm a writer, so it's not like I can't come up with an amusing or thought-provoking or vaguely threatening note if the need arises.

Didn't matter. Until I was firmly entrenched in the forums, I was persona non writa.



Your Mutual Match candidates are people who fall within the parameters of your search criteria. They may have seen you and they may not have -- they're presented for you to make a YES or NO or MAYBE determination. If you choose YES or MAYBE, your pic and profile snip will be shown to them -- and if they also select YES or MAYBE, you'll be notified that you have a Mutual Match.

If you should happen to see someone in your MM candidates who falls OUTSIDE your search parameters -- say, I've got my distance set at 250 miles, and I see someone who's 1000 miles away -- that's a tipoff that this person has already given you a YES or MAYBE. That's the only way someone outside your search settings can get in there.



In theory, yes. In practice, well....some people are just more serious about meeting someone than others.



Let me put it this way -- after my first month or so here, I completely abandoned the idea of writing to anyone first.

And now I don't have to because they write to me in mass quantities. And that's all because of the forums.

Thank you,

That was taken by my daughter, who informed me that I should "monkey around a bit" for a good picture. LOL

well it IS sort of hard to not notice a guy swinging from some sort of contraption, semi-nude, holding a banana!

Thanks for the advise Lex.


Maybe I think I should just hang out and watch for a while. Who knows, maybe I'll learn something.


At the least, I'll get to know a few folks around the country and that can never be a bad thing.

I've found the forums are worth staying for, even if people aren't responding yet to messages.

And, that is a pretty spiffy photo.

Flip a coin.

Oh, that is a silly pic!!! Good call on your kid's part!!

I'll be bluntly honest (big surprise there, eh? LOL!).

Normally, I would say something about a man who is not wearing a shirt in his main profile pic. Personally, I find it to be tacky. However, I totally understand the humorous aspect the photo is trying to convey, and it is rather clever, different, and amusing!

Cheers and best wishes.