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| Topic: Unanswerd Questions | |
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Seems like in every relatioship im in,i do everything a guy suppose to do. But yet i still get cheated on or lied to. What am i doing wrong?
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You're choosing the same type of woman, every time. These are not women of substance you are dating. Also, could be you're coming across as a doormat, where woman believe they can take advantage, and do. Or a combination of the above.
When the same thing starts happening over and over, it's time to stop looking outward and start looking inward. Good luck 
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You're choosing the same type of woman, every time. These are not women of substance you are dating. Also, could be you're coming across as a doormat, where woman believe they can take advantage, and do. Or a combination of the above. When the same thing starts happening over and over, it's time to stop looking outward and start looking inward. Good luck Exactly!!!!! 
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Thats the point i dont act like a push over i jus treat the one im with like any woman want to be treated.
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Well, then, I can only surmise that it's your choice of women. People tend to be drawn to the same type of person, even if they don't understand why and KNOW that it's toxic for them. The trick is recognizing what is similar about these woman that is attracting you in the first place, then running straight for cover when you come across it again.
Far easier to type than to do. Takes a lot of gut wrenching and often painful soul-searching and a whole lot of self-awareness. And, food for thought, you may not think you are a doormat. But, to find out if your perception of yourself is accurate, ask your best friends. And tell them to be brutally honest. If they're good friends, they will tell you the truth, painful is it might be. We often can't see ourselves as clearly as others see us and what we see is treating someone right, may scream doormat to everyone else. |
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Thats the point i dont act like a push over i jus treat the one im with like any woman want to be treated. Do you take them back when they cheat or break up with them right away? And, how many women are we talking about? |
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Edited by
MsCarmen
on
Wed 11/12/08 05:59 AM
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I'll use myself as an example. For the longest time, I kept ending up with a$$holes who were abusive in some way or another, didn't treat me right, disrespectful, and cheated. I kept saying the same thing each time it happened, "Why do I keep ending up with these guys?"
It was finally when I took some time off from dating, that I realized I was the one choosing them. I was the one allowing them in my life. And after taking a long hard look at myself (and believe me it wasn't pretty) I realized that my self-esteem, my outlook on life, and the way I viewed myself was so bad, that I didn't think I deserved anyone better. I have since then come to the realization that I am a beautiful woman, I deserve so much better, and I won't settle for anything else then what I deserve. Have I stayed single for a while because of that? Yes, but I would rather be alone and happy knowing that I will be with that "great" guy, then to be stuck with another loser! |
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(((Carmen)))
I'm glad you realize just how special you really are. |
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I'll use myself as an example. For the longest time, I kept ending up with a$$holes who were abusive in some way or another, didn't treat me right, disrespectful, and cheated. I kept saying the same thing each time it happened, "Why do I keep ending up with these guys?" It was finally when I took some time off from dating, that I realized I was the one choosing them. I was the one allowing them in my life. And after taking a long hard look at myself (and believe me it wasn't pretty) I realized that my self-esteem, my outlook on life, and the way I viewed myself was so bad, that I didn't think I deserved anyone better. I have since then come to the realization that I am a beautiful woman, I deserve so much better, and I won't settle for anything else then what I deserve. Have I stayed single for a while because of that? Yes, but I would rather be alone and happy knowing that I will be with that "great" guy, then to be stuck with another loser! Been down that road too (not the abuse part but the other stuff). It's a trip none of us wants to take but it's really the only path to happiness. Because, and it's a cliche but a true one, you cannot be happy and you cannot be loved if you are not happy with yourself and in love with yourself first. |
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(((Carmen))) I'm glad you realize just how special you really are. Thank you ((((Ruth)))) I know, I'm a HOTTIE!!!  
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you are going for the wrong kind of woman....
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You're choosing the same type of woman, every time. These are not women of substance you are dating. Also, could be you're coming across as a doormat, where woman believe they can take advantage, and do. Or a combination of the above. When the same thing starts happening over and over, it's time to stop looking outward and start looking inward. Good luck  |
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If you don't tell us exactly what it is you are doing, how are we supposed to know what you are doing wrong?
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Don't make me say it, .......
 Again
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You're choosing the same type of woman, every time. These are not women of substance you are dating. Also, could be you're coming across as a doormat, where woman believe they can take advantage, and do. Or a combination of the above. When the same thing starts happening over and over, it's time to stop looking outward and start looking inward. Good luck |
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You're choosing the same type of woman, every time. These are not women of substance you are dating. Also, could be you're coming across as a doormat, where woman believe they can take advantage, and do. Or a combination of the above. When the same thing starts happening over and over, it's time to stop looking outward and start looking inward. Good luck Great advice Suz...as always!!! |
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Edited by
michiganman3
on
Wed 11/12/08 07:51 AM
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I heard a radio talk show therapist, a real Psychiatrist, state that people behave and make certain choices again and again because there is a payoff, a reward of some kind. That ultimately they are responsible for what is happening with their relationship choices.
I thought about this for awhile because I seemed to choose the same woman all the time, she might have a different face but it really was the same woman, with the same issues and problems. I did some serious self examination, and surprise!! It was me that had the problem. |
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I heard a radio talk show therapist, a real Psychiatrist, state that people behave and make certain choices again and again because there is a payoff, a reward of some kind. That ultimately they are responsible for what is happening with their relationship choices. I thought about this for awhile because I seemed to choose the same woman all the time, she might have a different face but it really was the same woman, with the same issues and problems. I did some serious self examination, and surprise!! It was me that had the problem. |
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Yeah, for example I've realized I shouldn't date people who drive white vehicles.
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Yeah, for example I've realized I shouldn't date people who drive white vehicles. Well, probably not quite what was meant but if it's working for ya 
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