A VERY SHORT SUPPLY.......

Theres your problem...theres no such thing...everyone is guilty of at least one of those

The good ones are all gone, and the pretty good ones are in short supply. Still plenty of mediocre to bad ones left though.

galendgirl...point taken...my reference to the 'good ones' refers to men in the women's case and women in the men's case or vice versa depending on sexual preference...but yes, you are right, I don't believe that I am not worthy of someone or even that ALL good men are gone...perhaps there aren't any in my particular town. Hey...I'm willing to relocate!! Lol!

is anyone ever

And since there are both men and women here...
WE ROCK! :)

where have the good ones been taken to?

When did I die? I must be dead because nobody see's me!

Perhaps, but then again...perhaps not. I could state the other side of that argument but I will stay positive and continue to wonder...are they gone...if they aren't gone then can someone point me in the right direction?! I seemed to be lost! Lol!

I see you!

I'm lost too, but my rose-colored glasses are firmly in place :)

Ahh hon...where do you get those glasses? I think I need some!!

For me, I do want someone with no kids. I've dated the single/divorced moms, seen and lived through the ramifications, and it's just not for me. Maybe that disqualifies me from being one of the "good ones" -- certain people have made their positions on that issue quite clear -- but I believe we are all entitled to our preferences.

As for skinny, that's not particularly relevant. Everyone is different.



I have A problem; I wouldn't say it's the SAME problem.

My problem is that I can't seem to run into anyone who isn't looking for a cookie-cutter, cardboard facade of a relationship/life based on nothing more than an outdated big-screen perception of how things SHOULD be.

I can't live like that.

There's a difference between being "not good" and being "not good for me."

Fantastic response!! Thank you for the honesty. That is what I'm looking for. I can understand your preference for someone with no kids...that doesn't make you bad..not at all. It just seems that the guys I run into get scared by kids. If I put myself in their shoes, I can understand. I just want to find someone that is ready for that challenge.

Yes, we are all different. As for skinny...it is relevant to me....glad you don't have that issue.

Cookie cutter facade eh? I don't think that myself in particular is looking for cookie cutter....just decent...not sure why that is so hard to find.

Maybe there is a difference between not good and not good for me but ultimately...aren't those that you would consider not good...not good for you?

There aren't any universals, though -- well, maybe a few, like nobody really WANTS to date an axe murderer, probably -- there aren't any AxeMurdererDating.com type sites, as far as I know, although, given the ever-increasing specialization of dating sites, I suppose that could happen.

I met a girl who turned out to be an arsonist on one site, though, and I have a hard time figuring how anyone could be LOOKING for that -- but you never know.

More relevant, though, is the idea that someone like myself sees what's "good for me" in an entirely different way from what my friends THINK would be "good for me."

To answer your question, though -- I could make a mistake. It's entirely possible I could meet someone I ASSUMED was not "good for me" but who might, in fact, be VERY good for me. This is unlikely but still possible.

What I was really getting at, though, in the remark about "not good" vs. "not good for me," was the dichotomy between what other people (the herd mentality) see as being "good" vs. what the individual perceives as being "good for oneself." I catch a lot of flak because I refuse to date anyone who drinks; many people see drinking as "good," but I don't. My stance is therefore "abnormal," but I have experienced enough of the "norm," in this instance, to know I want no part of it.

Honey, if that is abnormal...no wonder I'm having problems!!! Don't get me wrong...I drink occasionally. Could I stop and never drink again...yep. It's not something that is very important to me. I rarely drink anyway. The older I get the less I drink. My ex was a raging alcoholic so I would prefer someone that doesn't like to drink or is a very light drinker.

The last time everyone said he wasn't good for me...they were right. Though I still trust my own ability to decipher who is right or who is wrong for me, I don't discount what others say anymore.

...But I digress....if seeking someone who is not a 'drinker' is abnormal, maybe I should just stay single...and on purpose!! Lol!!

I'm sorry...I had to laugh about the arsonist...it's not funny but it is funny, if you know what I mean.

Yes, I made a mistake a long time ago and thought that this really nice guy wasn't 'for me'. I still wonder what would've happened if I had pursued that relationship further. Perhaps this is payback for kicking the nice guy to the curb?! If so, I sure have learned my lesson!!

I've lost too many people I loved, due to alcohol. I made a decision that I wasn't going to go through that again.



I don't either -- up to a point. I've been fooled enough times to know that it can certainly happen. And my close friends have occasionally provided some good advice. But my close friends understand, to some extent, what it is I'm looking for, and they understand that my preferences tend to run outside the "mainstream." It's the not-so-close friends who have no business giving advice....



But try to find a non-drinker on a dating site -- they're rarer than people who don't have kids, and people who don't have kids are, for all intents and purposes, non-existent on dating sites.



She was the first person I actually met from a dating site. That should have told me everything I needed to know! She later got in trouble for stealing clothes from a store in the mall she worked at, and trading them to another guy who worked at a different store in the same mall for some stuff from his store. Last time I saw her, she was going door-to-door selling perfume.

After her, I met the phony bank teller, the newspaper columnist who wanted me to write her column for her, the fake kidnap victim....and so on....



Yeah, I have a few of those, too -- I wonder sometimes, if I had just stayed with the "good" one instead of jumping to the one who seemed more interesting or colorful at the time -- there's something to be said for stability.

But I have the attention span of a box turtle on LSD, so who knows....

ROFLMAO!!!!

I just don't even know what to say to that!!Hahaaaahahhaha!! Turtle on LSD...lol!!

Yeah...you are right though..non drinkers or even minimal drinkers are hard to find ANYWHERE...online or otherwise. That is really sad. Sorry to hear that you have lost loved ones to that. The only thing I lost was my marriage...not quite the same. You can replace a marriage (hopefully) but you can not replace people.

I have run into a few crazies myself....not like your crazies...but definitely crazy!!

It seems that when someone can not find the sort of person they are looking for and they keep running into the 'not good' people, as we discussed earlier, they have a tendency to become jaded...myself included. We then question why it is that we can not find that particular someone with as big as this world is...hence the original question...are my preferences too abnormal? Is that why I am still single? Maybe. Is it my looks? Maybe. Am I too stubborn or too jaded and it shows? Probably. Maybe it is just too hard to find someone that I can put up with that can also put up with me!!! Maybe that is the problem. Maybe it's just plain 'ol chemistry...who knows.

A wise lady once said that she still has her rose colored glasses on. Part of me has a small tint of rose and mourns the loss of the glasses...but the rest of me has become tired and jaded by the duds, the selfishness, and the total lack of caring on the part of most of the guys out there (sorry guys, I know that ALL of you aren't bad). I do always take a look in the mirror and I know my faults...in looks as well as personality. I work on the personality and if they don't like the looks, so be it...but it is a learning process and it takes time..the being single process has taught me quite a bit about myself...good and bad things...I want to share the good things within myself with someone else..and want to find someone that will encourage me to continue working on the 'bad' parts. My 'bad' parts are normal 'bad' parts...I don't steal, I don't cheat, I care for people I don't know...BUT...I am stubborn and can be anti-social at times (I know that this is shocking!)... but really...who isn't? Are these 'bad' parts keeping the men away or are the men with the major 'bad' parts keeping me from the 'good ones' due to my becoming jaded? Or would that then be self sabotage in a sense? Your partner should always make you better than you were before you met them but the foundation has to already be there. I just haven't found that someone.

My ex was not only a raging alcoholic but a drug addict, constantly depressed, and a thief as well...I have two beautiful kids by him but that is all he really gave to me...most of the relationship was spent with me cheering him and supporting his sobriety only to find out that he wasn't so sober...quite an eye opening experience I must say. Now, it seems that there are so many more men out there like this that it contributes to my sense of all the 'good ones' being gone. I will not make the same mistake twice by thinking that I can change someone or help them through it. Again, they have to have the good foundation...I really thought he had it...and maybe he did...but when it endangered my kids...that was it...I have to think of them too. So, I have to be careful in choosing someone.

Ahhh...who really knows the answers to the why's of why we are single. I am sure that we all think that we are not so bad and that someone would be lucky to have us! Lol! Some are fools and some are right. Which am I? *Shrugs* I don't think I am a fool in that sense. Perhaps a fool in other ways...but all we can all really do is wait and hope and I am tired of one and losing the other.

One other wise lady said that maybe HE has another plan for me...I sure do hope so...I pray for it. Maybe it is in HIS plan for me to finish school and become 'established' before I meet someone. It usually is in HIS time and I usually have trouble with the patience of waiting for HIS time...Lord forgive me...until that time...I will just try to keep hope, continue to pray, and finish school while mothering my kids to the absolute best of my ability!

I've just emailed you a pair!

Lex' and Lilbit' -
You guys had a great discussion there...(I won't use the quote button because this would be a mile long.) I think you both know what you are looking for - or at least what you are looking to AVOID! Good for you both - seriously!

I don't think having specific preferences is "abnormal" and heaven knows if we haven't learned what works/doesn't work for us from previous relationship, we are just gonna repeat past miseries! None of that makes anyone good/bad/abnormal/etc (although the arsonist and the turtle on LSD go straight to the bottom of my list LOL!)

We are still all wonderful even if not wonderful "for each other."