Why do I see this board turning ugly?

because people feel the need to validate why its not acceptable to be chunky...

Because somebody spoke their mind and other people don't agree with him but honestly I don't think it should turn ugly... Everyone is allowed their own opinions on all things... No one can ever say they're 100% non-judgemental on things because that's impossible....

OK, that is the reason I was seeing too.

I'm fat & proud

exactly!

my mummy always did that "you point one finger at someone and 3 of your own are pointin right back atcha"

ya know... like you judge them. and 3 others are judging you. ya know?

Be happy with who you are....inside & OUT! Good looks will FADE over time, but a good heart will last forever!!

That's how I was raised too

I will b*tch slap anyone who tries to take this thread into a negative way.

AMEN TO THAT

I'm several Extra pounds

Awe you are such a protector

All the more to cuddle up with

This thread is my baby...I will protect it...don't make me pull out my rabbit with plunger pic.

I'm still single in case any of the women on this topic wanted to know.

Rabbit plunger pick? Am I pissing something here ?


You do know that this means by the time you have read this, I would have perved ya right ?

Goof thanks for the kindness.

I was really taken back by the exchange with the guy who stated his position as I think a healthy young guy might percieve things. Give him age, experience, and a couple of hard knocks and he will probably have a very different view. It took a lot not to want to pin his ears back and "educate" him.

I didn't like the idea that he was coming in here as some kind of research experiment? Who did he think he was fooling? If he had that many birds on a wire he wouldn't have been cruiseing sites to see what he could find. He was lonely just like us and didn't want as a budding adult to admidt his little system wasn't working all that well. Evidently something about his hunting skills are flawed and from his posts it is pretty obvious what it is. He is still a baby where he is the center of the Universe and anyone who doesn't follow round his merry go round is a curiosity but not worth being civil to.

The few people who fit the stero-typical ideal delude themselves that they are the cream of the crop and they entitled to insult and lecture what are really adverage people because his resources tell him it is ok. The medical establishment, media, fashion industry, employers, even churches jump on the bandwagon of labeling being normal as being defective and improveing everyone else but themselves. Unfortuneately most of us are brainwashed to put up with this bull until confronted with one person who repeats it and you want to lay them out because when it comes out of the mouth of a real person it is easy to see how ridiculous some of societies expectations are.

Unfortuneately there are a lot of people who are takers in this world or situations where people in need are a huge stress on primary care givers. What I have observed is the majority of people who have gained weight often are in impossible situations where self care is a very low priority to everyone not just the person who is being drowned with weight. Health can be a very large contributer. Since emotional and physican pain is so hard to treat often it is shuttled aside in blame and excuses. We are suppose to be tough and the idiotic "no pain no gain" concept lives on. We actually believe being a parent is about sacrifice and signing our lives over to our kids. Turning our bodies into step stools to boost them up closer to what ever we didn't have. You talk to older women they will tell you yes children are important, need protected and nurtured but so are you. They will eventually live what you model.

I find it absoutely deplorable that we worship youth and freedom so much that so many people are not taught responsibility and empathy or if they are in the home they are re-educated once they hit the world often too young and inexperienced to know much. (How many of us contribute to that saying our kids should live on their own or a man who helps his Momma is some how undesireable.) And think about it how many of us buy publications with that baloney in it? I guarantee you if magazines and TV rateings on programs that didn't support our ideals stopped getting bought they would change their tune immedidately. How many of us have said oh it is ok and given our last dime to our kids when we needed a laundry list of things includeing them showing more respect to us or even helping us with in the limits of their abilities. I know I have. Or how many of us have said "if I have to crawl in court to get what is fair from my Ex I don't want it. I can take care of my kids." I know I have even when it was cutting off my own nose to spite my face. (I gained their step Dad supporting my children but he should have been able to done that anyway. Look at social security laws. They are so sexist it is not even funny. And women and children are the ones who collect it/depend it the most.) Yes back then the enforcement laws were virtually non-existent but it is kind of ridiculous what people who work their backs to the ground allow people who make commitments and walk away from get away with. I know for a fact that my situation would be a lot better today if I would have said "I don't think so. I am the most vunerable person here. I need to get my education first. I need to take care of my health first." when various people wanted me to do something that was clearly not in my best interest. My oldest son is furious right now that I would not write off my financial future and come closer to him to be the silent partner in his situation. I know eventually he will wise up but it is not fun getting the treatment that is cheerleaded on by an Ex who tells him he is wonderful because he is now hopeing like hell to make ammends with a son and grandsons because he has worn out his welcome with his second family. There were a lot of times I should have said nope I am tired or I need some time to replenish myself with more than the leftovers or the garbage snack foods that we con ourselves into thinking satisfy our needs. Or I felt guilty and passed on filling a prescription because I would have to delete one of the niceities from the budget. I still do that today taking care of my Dad. Or spoiling people at the rest home.

The reality was he was rude but he was also ignorant. Instead of challengeing his opinions we, I admidt I wanted to pull him through the screen by his ears; either ignored him (which I did and wasn't productive either) or attacked him which shut down even the slightest chance that he would have learned anything. Instead of saying yes I was young and perfect once, or I made choices that seemed reasonable at the time, or no I was born this way but I still contribute to the world like most of you are saying this morning to each other is not helping anyone. We get why we have a few extra pounds. What we need is for OTHER people to get it. Defending the safe castle we have here might be our one place for approval and support but we will be under seige forever and a day if we don't change a few more minds as we go. And change some of our self defensive behaviors. I think talking about it here is important and glad to see it brought back up.

Nothing wrong with a bit of extra weight. Women are supposed to have curves.

I love being perved. Oh wait...wait....stop perving me. How dare you perve me! How rude!