How To Treat a Lady...

1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will
keep her on her toes and girls love that.

2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness.
(Or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she
cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)

3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls
are like dogs. They love to be roughed up.

4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. If she
is, say you better be. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will
show her you care.

5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be
her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement and
every girl needs some improvement.

6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. Then
when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them, because
jewelry is for pussies and Asian ladies.

7. If you're talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she
is, stare into her eyes mouth the words "**** you" and grab the other
girls ass. Girls love competition.

8. Introduce her to your friends as "some chick". Women love those
special nicknames.

9. Warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket...
Then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say "if you
don't stop *****ing about the cold right now you're going to be *****ing
about a black eye." The best way to get warm is with fear.

10. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the
bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the
party's dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the
party.

11. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet.
Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn't girls?

12. If you care about her never ever tell her. This will only give her
self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep
down desires to be.

13. Every time you're in her house steal one of the following: shoes,
earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the
pair. This way shell go crazy.

14. Give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell
on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what I'm
talking about.

15. Titty twisters and plenty of them.

16. If you're listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no.
This way she'll think you're mysterious.

17. Remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her
material objects aren't important. The only thing thats important is
that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she
can ever get.

18. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just
when ever, take it and tell her you love it. Then next time you know
she's coming over on a trash day leave the trash can open and have the
present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don't like this
one that much but I think it's funny.

19. If shes mad at you for not calling her when you say you will;
promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This
will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call
you're going to tell her a special surprise. Now shell be really
excited. Now don't call.

20. Next time you are having sex, make sure you get off before she does,
then get off her and leave. Girls love that

oh wow... yeah guys... dont do this...




i cant lie... i was laughing my a$$ off while reading this...




but really... it's not nice....

as far as i know those would get a guy either killed or charged.

Yeah i was laughing my ass off to ,but i gotta tell ya that man's butt
would get tied up in a sheet and the **** kicked out of him from me LMAO

Yeah, unfortunately we DO have feelings...

yes we do have feelings and i know a few guys just like that!!!

WHAT CAN YOU SAY ABOUT THAT? What a bunch of wife beater crap.
I thought I was bitter after my D! I still have hope and that will not
be part of my BS.

Yep....don't try this at home folks

Ladies, that would be justifiable homocide.

Isn't this what happened to Lorraine Bobbit?

her solution worked pretty good to eh?

LOL newguy

yea that is how not to get a girlfriend.

much better than a pity thread tonight lol

Hahaha i won't lie that's amazing... Guys do not do this

Just might work out if you find a really insecure woman that loves constant attention???? NAH!!

LOL....

Still picking myself up after this.....hilarious! And definitely NOT the way to get a girlfriend!