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Boyfriend, latin name boyfriendius luciferious,

---Kingdom: Assholius
---Division: Innersphincterus
---Class: None (boyfriendius luciferious is an abnormal specimen and therefore has no class)
---Order: ****edupidus
---Family: Dreded-mil
---Genus: Peaweicock

Unnecessary flap of skin weighing between 150 – 300 pounds in weight, the boyfriend requires constant attention, except when feeding, or unless you would like to give it attention.* Before the flap attaches itself to a host it feeds on a diet of beer and freezer food, progressing to beer and whatever you care to toss it once firmly attached.

It inflates in the presence of other flaps, following feeding frenzies at local public houses, at sporting events and at traffic lights. Particularly useful as a foot warmer on long winter nights and for changing light bulbs. Can put shelves up at an angle. May mow lawn eventually and is prone to burning chicken wings on the BBQ and leaving underwear scattered around the house. Many come with TV remote controls as standard.

Short attention span, easily distracted by other potential hosts. If left untreated could turn into a husband, the removal of which requires lengthy legal wrangles and a whole heap of money.

The species in general is hung up with measuring its kock. A strange phenomenon is to repeatedly measure the kock, and continually pester the girlfriend for confirmation of measurement of kock. If this repeated measurement of **** does not suffice (which it invariably does not), the boyfriend will engage the girlfriend to repeatedly account for the kock-measuring of others. Should this go on too long, the girlfriend will find she just can't possibly take any more kock and will sever things.

Part of the reason for this circumstance is the species' inability to understand a good dildo and a ladder will replicate all functions the boyfriend could provide.

The population of specius boyfriendius luciferious has been dwindling ever since the advent of petri dishes, refrigerators and ladies' nights out.

Your Boyfriend may be different.


Got to freaking love it

dam are you talking about john holmes gettin circumcised

good one