I am so tired of ads saying "No baggage/drama".

If you are human then you have baggage AND drama. Sorry, but I have lived (45 years). People have come into, and out of my life and have left pieces of themselves behind. Some good, some not so good.

So get over it!

True and funny.There are allot of divorced people here I am one. I find it comical that people insist on asking me what happened and when I get into tactfully telling the story they suddenly have to Go do something and won't speak to me again
after all they asked.Everyone has baggage whether they have been married or not everyone has an ex in their subconscious mind just lurking there. I really do find it amusing.

Absolutely right!

Drama... that can be controlled though. I think what people, men especially from my point of view mean by this is UNECESSARY drama-rama. I have met quite a few women who seem addicted to drama, overly emotional about events and situations which really do have simple and often obvious solutions.

There IS DRAMA in ever life, or you're just not living it right. That's a fact. Also all drama is not BAD drama. But there are people, some of them with personality disorders in particualr who use drama and create it just to draw ansd keep attention on themselves. They tend to "suck all the emotional space" out of a relationship, and while needing almost constant emotional support, usually can provide none in return, and often even resent it when they are expected to show some compassion and support for others.

Sorry, but that closes out of town with this boy. One-ways hit the highway, and an EXCESS of dramarama around their lives is deffinitely a giant red flag to me.

Joe

Sorry, I forgot;

Baggage? Oh yeah. If you're over the age of fifteen you HAVE baggage. FOO (family of origin issues) and later bad relationships "gift" you with them whether you like it, or ADMIT IT or not. The only real difference between people is this; most will deny it and play the "blame game." It was all the other persons fault. These "angels & demons" people are big no-no's with me. Lots of women tell me they run from men who have had "psycho ex" syndrome, and that's probably a GOOD idea. It takes two.

Then there are people who admit that you cant walk out of a bad childhood or relationship "completely unaffected" and have looked inside themselves, gotten real help if it was particularly bad, and DEALT with thier own issues, whatever their ex's issues were.

That's the responsible thing to do... so you don't "pass oon the pain." Lot's of misandristic (man-hating / fearing) women out there in the world with big grudges from past lives to give a future mate the price tag for.

It gets complicated! But believe me, both are real issues. Whether the people understand the root and the RIGHT of these issues is a personal thing. Whether they deal with them or ignore htem and look for their next victim is the true "skill set" of dating IMHO. I know I'm doing the latter!

Joe