Ok so tonight, after all the kids clear out I am going with my friend to her sister's house. Her husband of less than a year has decided he doesn't want to be married anymore. He backed a truck up this morning, packed all his crap. He took her off the bank accounts and cleaned them out. She has 4 other kids (not his) but she hasn't been working since they were married. She just had a miscarriage last week. She is just devestated. He left her with no money. Nothing. She's still upset over the miscarriage... and now he left her. She is so upset. So I am going over with my friend to sit and talk to her, try to keep her occupied and give her some ideas on what to do next. But... I have no idea what she should do next. I've never been in this spot. But I have been is positions where the world seems to be closing in on me and despair was all around... I told my friend we're gonna pick up some chocolate, a box of tissues, and just go over there and see what we can do.

ouch, man that is rough.

Be there - that's the most important thing.

On one side, I feel bad for her, especially the kids. However, I believe she put herself in this spot. I'm all for taking responsibilty for your actions. They started dating last sept and were married by Feb. He never had a real relationship before and she's divorced with 4 kids. But, you can't help who you fall in love with... She feels guilty enough right now so I'm not gonna push anything down her throat.

She needs to go to social services and apply for whatever services she can get until she gets back on her feet. If he is the father of any of her children she needs to look into child support.

That pisses me off to no end that he was able to clean out the bank accounts!! I've seen that happen to 2 others recently. I know there probably are laws against it, but it doesn't seem they are enforceable. It's just all shades of wrong!!!

You are so doing the right thing by going there and being with her. I had lots of friends call and so forth after my ex husband left, but nobody came and just sat. It really would have meant a lot.

He isn't the father of any of them. She does get child support for her kids... which was in the bank account that her soon to be ex husband just cleaned out.

Bring a lottery ticket...

I'll pray to Confucius to make it a winner!

go to legal aide... try to get a statement of any $$ that was in the account... if they are married and he cleans out the joint account he is required to give her half.

just get her to legal aide ASAP!! with her not having an income she will qualify, so she can get help with the legal end of it..


as for the emotional part. stick with her.. and be there.. try watchin some movies or something.. but try to stear clear of mushy love stuff..

Damn, okay that is just plain wrong stealing money from kids!!!

You want me to handle him, that's so f*cked up. Stealing from her kids....

I'll light a candle for her tonight.

(and one for him, but not in a good way)

totally. They may not be HIS kids but he agreed to marry her... he agreed to make these kids HIS family. And now he just left them with nothing. What an azzhole

Yes Lily... please do. I already 2 lit...

What caused this guy to split like that?

Is that a sort of system set-up where you pray to him? I didn't think he was ona a diety level or anything. Or is this similar to a saint on the Christian level?

Well I do know that there is usually some free legal counsel in most states for women. That money is her's not his and for her children. I also agree I would go down to social services with her and get at least some emergency help. I am not sure about your state but up here you can't clean the bank accounts totally out. Have to leave 50%. My son went through that with his EX. She did that to him after he caught her cheating.

The best thing you can do is be there for her help with any ideas you and friends can come up with.
Best of luck to your friend and you.
Oh yeah Ben and Jerry's works magic at times.

His mother wouldn't but out of their business. His mother even told her that she lost the baby because she's a sinner, because her marriage isn't "true" ( they didn't get married Catholic ) what a B$TCH. I think he also just freaked out... never being in a relationship before, now he has a wife and 4 kids. He lost it.

What a butthole to take money away from the kids. It was their money for their needs. There are free legal hotlines for some direction and places who do pro bono work for those in need without money. It would be NICE to start looking up numbers and do some of the leg work FOR HER as she is not in the serious enough state of mind and won't be as focused on specific details, especially since she just miscarried, grieving, hormones.
Of course, if there is anyone, friends and family, who can help her financially to get bills paid or food for the kids, give what you can.
Change the locks.
Gosh, Jillie, let's all pray, too!!!

AS a male that makes me sick to my stomach, he is no where close to being a man!!! Point her toward social services and maybe contact a church for immediate help and I will pray for her!!!!!!

I am sorry to hear this. His mommie sounds like a pain the a## Catholic hmmm yeah they do have a tendency to get on their soap box and judge other people yet they are the one's in church every Sunday up front so everyone can see what good people they are. I was raised catholic and spent half my time on my knees saying a million hail mary's when I was younger. She is better off without him she can make it on her own just needs the encouragement and support from her family and friends. I will say some prayer's for her tonight since I have had ton's of practice.