I would like to know what’s up with the guys that use the excuse of not being "financially secure" enough to pursue a relationship...

I, myself, have had that told to me once but I also know of a few women that have told me the same comment was made to them.

I'm a big girl and I have been supporting myself and my boys for quite some time. I do not need the assistance of a man to pay my bills.

Is this your new cop out?

some guys just don't want the responsibility that they believe comes with dating a woman with children...

Do you want to support him as well???? I think they mean they would like to be "able" to help with their share, especially if they live or are married to you.

Wallets under the mattress,

There are a lot of men out there who see themselves as failures if they can't provide completely for their significant other and it is a sore spot if that person can do so when they can't.

maybe he's not financially secure enough to even take care of himself, let alone go out on dates. If that's the case then more power to him for taking himself out of the "dating pool" to help himself first.

Just date millionaires daaaaaaahlink!!!

Like I always say...

"get naked...and give me your wallet".

No ma'am but why would that stop someone from pursueing what may be a great love.
I get that they would want to "help" but why does it means things would change financially...?
If it were me, he would continue to pay for his and I would continue to pay for mine.

hell i'd be happy with a "sugar mama",why not.i can pay for my own things,but she can pay for the more exspensive things in cash so i dont have to make payments....well at least not with cash

I can ONLY speak for what I have experienced

but most guys egos will not let a woman help them financially
it makes them feel less of a man...

there may be an exception to the rule, but I haven't met any guys like that

I believe this is what happened to the gentleman in my past.
There wasn't anything I could have said that would have given him the support he needed to feel like a "man".

I think he was a little bent I could provide for myself and didn't "need" him...Maybe that is why he was intimidated...He knew I could provide for myself and I could walk out at any given moment.
I don't put up with BS.

for sure

Could ya help me find one...?

There are men who can't afford a simple date, such as meeting for a drink. So they don't date... it is their choice. And for a lot of women, they might want to go out. If he can't afford to pay even for his half, well, he shouldn't date. I agree with this. I wouldn't go out if I couldn't afford to pay my own way in the event that came up. I've also offered to pay for myself and that offer was accepted.

First of all, does he flirt around like he is in a relationship? And at what point does he tell you he isn't looking for one because he's not financially secure enough? Is it after he has played mind games with you? If it's after the mind games, then he has some serious issues...if he's just being up front from the start, then he is trying to warn you that he doesn't have a lot of money...

Sorry, not enough information given to solve your problem.



We need details about how long you've been talking, have you already been out on a date with him, how many dates, does he get many girls already
... etc

I am recently divorced. I take care of twin seven year old boys and myself but I don't have a lot of money.

I met a woman (not on here). She was nice and everything but 3 months in a relationship she said" You don't have the resources to be with me" and that was her exit gambit.

However I thought I let you know . I saw few profiles here specially in California with headings like "Au digger" (for the uninitiated Au is the chemical sign for gold) or "Are you rich enough to be with me?" or the one which says "I have an expensive taste for dinning" I can go on for ever for some of the ladies on this site. Of course not all are the same.

I can see why a man would say that .Though I am not putting a sign of approval.Men you can think it if you wish, but say "thanks but no thanks " is more graceful.

I get what you're saying but then why do they pursue a woman in the first place?

If you don't have the means to go out and spend some time with a woman you are interested in, then "why bother getting in the pool if you can't swim "

Hey, can ya' lend me a buck?