Here are my well earned rights as a bonafide babysitter, rules for proper babysitting, not necessarily to be used in the order written or all at once (or yes can be), whichever you choose:

1. Lots and lots of 2-liter bottles of coke (must be the real thing, not decaf or diet)

a. To perform loud belches
b. To release lots and lots of butt gas

(disclaimer: not responsible for smell, have lots of air freshener handy)

2. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet and have an extra set around your neck

3. Changes of underwear and slippers for those accidental pissing bouts you may encounter

4. Bottles and bottles of Benadryl (for allergic reactions and sleep deprived nights) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

5. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet

6. Fast moving ceiling fans (must be able to hold at least 130 pounds while spinning in mid-air) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

7. Plenty of paper towels to clean up mess from #1 above **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

8. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet

9. Rolls and rolls of duct tape (assorted colors, I found that the kids are attracted to bright colors, thanks Patti ) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

10. Reams and reams of bubble wrap (thanks Connie) so when they roll across the floor, they pop loud (hey, you need to enjoy it as well) and don't break furniture and fine glassware as they hit it **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

11. Plenty of paint to hide the marks from the duct tape **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

12. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet

13. When you decide to babysit, make sure it is in a state where school is open 365 days a year (minus 1 day for religious observance) **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

14. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet

15. Teach the kids these simple phrases:

a. Yes ma'am (or sir)
b. Yes ma'am (or sir)
c. Yes ma'am (or sir)

16. Plenty of band-aids/antiseptic cream in case the kids scrape their knuckles/knees/hands/faces trying to break free from the duct tape restraints **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

17. You must be able to run faster than the children you are babysitting **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

18. Make sure you know how to cook, kids like to eat **looking around neck for keys to liquor cabinet**

19. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet

20. Keys (well hidden throughout the house) to the liquor cabinet


*****PLEASE REMEMBER THESE RULES WILL NOT WORK WITH ALL KIDS, JUST SOME

Hi Bad_girl-- I'm using some of these when I babysit my grandsons Thanks

Hi {{suzin}}

Feel free to use them all, they really do work

OMG we have a babysitting genius on our hands....also gave me 10 extra sets to the liquor cabinet just in case...And an emergency number to Liquor Barn

Keep that set around your neck Debbie

Hey ((Merle))

Having a good time? And do you remember just where you hid those keys? If so, on my way, I can be there in 5 hours (give or take)

***I HAVE A SET AROUND MY NECK, COME ON UP

Yes, we are having a blast and YEP, duct tape really does have a 1001 uses

You are so cool! Sounds like so much fun that I'd ask you to babysit me! (if you'd tell me where those keys were)

I now have the Keys

I will make sets for anyone that wants them

Hi {{cathy}} how are you sweets

Yes, but I still have a set around my neck

Too bad that usually only works for babysitting, not parenting!

thats too funny

Use whichever ones you need Wanda, feel free

That is too funny. I am going to have to show my daughter....she'll love it, she works with kids.