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Topic: How tacky....
grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Sun 10/12/08 06:39 AM
has an epiphany It couldn't have even been a factor, adoption Not everyone is comfortable with that especially if it's important to this guy to have a child from his own blood line. Now don't get me wrong....I don't agree with his line of thinking, but it is not uncommon at all and sounds like the truth. I just think that it would be a crying shame because the kid would have a parent that is nearly 70 at his high school graduation.. talk about embarassing...

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 06:41 AM
although there is a slightly elevated risk of some birth defects after 35. Yah, and an elevated risk of trouble with the actual birth. Plus if he adopted, he could pick a boy instead of trying over and over until he gets one. Where did you hear that? And, it sounds like adoption is not an option for him. I'm not interested in arguing about whether a woman can or cannot have children in her late 30's (although I had 2, so I kinda know what I'm talking about). My point is that it doesn't sound like he was lying about his reasons for leaving.

grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Sun 10/12/08 06:44 AM
although there is a slightly elevated risk of some birth defects after 35. Yah, and an elevated risk of trouble with the actual birth. Plus if he adopted, he could pick a boy instead of trying over and over until he gets one. Where did you hear that? And, it sounds like adoption is not an option for him. I'm not interested in arguing about whether a woman can or cannot have children in her late 30's (although I had 2, so I kinda know what I'm talking about). My point is that it doesn't sound like he was lying about his reasons for leaving. Actually he's a very good man.. he just realized I wouldn't give him what he wanted. And being that I'm 41 it's way too much of a risk anyway. I just think it's bad to end what seemed like a good relationship over something that he has no guarantees of getting with anyone anyway. Who's to say he can have kids...

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 06:47 AM
although there is a slightly elevated risk of some birth defects after 35. Yah, and an elevated risk of trouble with the actual birth. Plus if he adopted, he could pick a boy instead of trying over and over until he gets one. Where did you hear that? And, it sounds like adoption is not an option for him. I'm not interested in arguing about whether a woman can or cannot have children in her late 30's (although I had 2, so I kinda know what I'm talking about). My point is that it doesn't sound like he was lying about his reasons for leaving. Actually he's a very good man.. he just realized I wouldn't give him what he wanted. And being that I'm 41 it's way too much of a risk anyway. I just think it's bad to end what seemed like a good relationship over something that he has no guarantees of getting with anyone anyway. Who's to say he can have kids... I agree with you 100% on this. He is trying to make up now for something that he regrets or he feels is missing from his life. And, I'm with you. I have 3 children and I'm 41. but, even if I was 31 I wouldn't have more kids for someone. It's a deal breaker for me. No more kids.

Mentork Joined Sun 10/05/08 Posts: 779	Sun 10/12/08 06:48 AM
He could have done Surrogacy via artificial incimanation then, it would be allot easier, and i hear it usually costs.. $20,000... That might sound like allot, but when you compare it to giving up the girl of your dreams and chasing women more then 10 years younger then you... I'm telling you it was another reason.

grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Sun 10/12/08 06:49 AM
He could have done Surrogacy via artificial incimanation then, it would be allot easier, and i hear it usually costs.. $20,000... That might sound like allot, but when you compare it to giving up the girl of your dreams and chasing women more then 10 years younger then you... I'm telling you it was another reason. Trust me.. it was not for another reason... I should know!

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 06:50 AM
He could have done Surrogacy via artificial incimanation then, it would be allot easier, and i hear it usually costs.. $20,000... That might sound like allot, but when you compare it to giving up the girl of your dreams and chasing women more then 10 years younger then you... I'm telling you it was another reason. He's not looking for the woman of his dreams, he's looking for someone to have a baby with. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree.

grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Sun 10/12/08 06:52 AM Edited by grneyedldy1967 on Sun 10/12/08 06:53 AM
He could have done Surrogacy via artificial incimanation then, it would be allot easier, and i hear it usually costs.. $20,000... That might sound like allot, but when you compare it to giving up the girl of your dreams and chasing women more then 10 years younger then you... I'm telling you it was another reason. He's not looking for the woman of his dreams, he's looking for someone to have a baby with. I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree. You are right. And the bad thing is he had someone that treated him better than good so he may find someone who treats him like crap in the long run despite the fact she can give him a baby! Always be careful what you ask for!

Mentork Joined Sun 10/05/08 Posts: 779	Sun 10/12/08 06:52 AM Edited by Mentork on Sun 10/12/08 06:53 AM
Lol, ok ok, i surrender I still hope a dominatrix comes outta nowhere and punishes him for being so cowardly...

grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Sun 10/12/08 06:54 AM
Lol, ok ok, i surrender I still hope a dominatrix comes outta nowhere and punishes him for being so cowardly... LOL I have to laugh on that one

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 06:55 AM
Always be careful what you ask for! Words to live by.

Mentork Joined Sun 10/05/08 Posts: 779	Sun 10/12/08 06:57 AM
I also hope he does find someone to have his kids, and that he gets 3 girls in a row!

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 06:58 AM
I also hope he does find someone to have his kids, and that he gets 3 girls in a row! I hope for the kids' sake, he doesn't.

grneyedldy1967 Joined Wed 04/30/08 Posts: 2854	Sun 10/12/08 06:59 AM
I also hope he does find someone to have his kids, and that he gets 3 girls in a row! I hope for the kids' sake, he doesn't. Yeah now that would be bad!! But you're never guaranteed what you are "shooting" for!

lcjw Joined Thu 10/11/07 Posts: 8594	Sun 10/12/08 07:02 AM
I don't think children have anything to do with this break up. If the 2 of you spent so much time together and talked a lot, as you said, he should have known that you did not want anymore children, or at least, got the idea, if you were honest with him about, that u did not want children anymore. Usually that is one of the subjects that people over 40, that begin dating discuss upfront. I think he used that as an excuse and he definately took the cowardly way out.

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 07:05 AM
I don't think children have anything to do with this break up. If the 2 of you spent so much time together and talked a lot, as you said, he should have known that you did not want anymore children, or at least, got the idea, if you were honest with him about, that u did not want children anymore. Usually that is one of the subjects that people over 40, that begin dating discuss upfront. I think he used that as an excuse and he definately took the cowardly way out. Apparently it did come up rather quickly. They've only been dating a few weeks. I don't know too many people who whip out a list of requirements sooner than that.

Mentork Joined Sun 10/05/08 Posts: 779	Sun 10/12/08 07:10 AM
Do you really think he expected a 40 year old women to have a kid? The odds of that going well are slim... But maybe talking about it got him riled up... In witch case he should come crawling back in about a week...

Ruth34611 Joined Sat 08/02/08 Posts: 32402	Sun 10/12/08 07:13 AM
Do you really think he expected a 40 year old women to have a kid? The odds of that going well are slim... But maybe talking about it got him riled up... In witch case he should come crawling back in about a week... He sounds like a pretty selfish person. I don't think he's thinking about anyone but himself right now.

stardust50 Joined Tue 06/03/08 Posts: 542	Sun 10/12/08 07:27 AM
Ummm I had one at 40 not easy to say the least my one and only was not planned the complications that I had were big.........I carried her for only 7 months she weighed in at 3LBS 4 oz was in the NICU for awhile. She is a healty and beautiful young girl the age thing yes I think about it all the time but I would not trade it for the world. I am a single mom have been since I found out I was pregnant. He sounds like he thinks he know what he wants but in reality he is still a kid himself. He could at least have spoken to you face to face this texting makes me crazy I hate it. I understand where your coming from you have your children grown and sending them out the door but with people like me we are just starting out well he is in for a rude reality check no women who is 37 and up wants to have a baby he will have to get one of those younger one's who knows no different and thinks it will be ok yeah right until he gets tired of it and walks out the door leaving her to raise it on her own.

Hajimemashite Joined Thu 08/28/08 Posts: 4031	Sun 10/12/08 07:33 AM Edited by Hajimemashite on Sun 10/12/08 07:38 AM
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcidD2HFK8M