my oldest never felt the need. my son, i checked for homework it was funny how he never seemed to have any. my youngest, yes.

i only looked through there things when i felt the need, something worried me. they knew i did it, always made them bring it to me and did it in front of them. never listened to phone conversations, went through rooms, etc. again my kids knew i could, and would if i felt the need. i am the mom, therefore i am the boss.

There was one time my daughter left a diary under MY pillow of all things! Of course I had to peek. There was some things in there that definitely required further discussion but mostly because her thoughts on sex were still at a 2nd grade level and she was 10 years old! I realized it was time for mom to raise the bar on sex education. It wasn't anything dirty, but just enough of her ramblings for me to see that she didn't quite get what sex really was. Sigh....I dreaded that conversation too. She may have put it there because she was wanting to inquire about it but didn't know how.

I also go through the book bag. I hate getting papers 2 days after they were supposed to be signed and returned by me to the school.

I think it is a parents RIGHT & OBLIGATION to ck their kids rooms, every so often. It can help yo know what is REALLY going on & might avert a serious problem from happening. I can't remember anytime I used the results of my cking, bluntly to my son. But I would lead a conversation in a certain direction & things would get talked about.
Always tried to use tact & allow him to save face.

only once with my son.And that was when his room was so bad,I cleaned it.Never found anything that was out of the norm.Raised my kids to talk to me about anything.And boy,Some thmes i wish they would leave some things out.No need to not trust.They would empty there back packs for me if i want them to.

I clean my sons room to when it annoys me like you I haven't found anything to worry about (yet)