Topic: Opinions welcome | |
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I, as most of my friends know, am writing a book. I am actually just doing it for fun but maybe if it is good enough I will try to get it published. I have posted parts of it but I am going to post all that I have typed up so far for your reading pleasure...please feel free to tell me what you think.
Most people have memorable summers; others have summers that change their lives. I like to think I have one for the books. It was the summer after my freshman year at the University of Texas. That is when I met him. He was perfect with his raven hair, emerald eyes, and a seemingly godlike body. He was Laith, a ranch hand on my daddy’s farm in Abilene. “Sara!” I heard my dad yelling from the barn. “Get over here and give your old man a hug. What’s it been? A year or two?” he winked. “It’s only been three months daddy,” I countered. I ran over to my graying father and gave him a hug as if I hadn’t seen him in years. I was all he had since my mom passed. Since I was in the third grade, it was just me and him. That’s how we liked it. As I became of age I realized how sad he must be, and lonely too. He never let me see it though. He always had a warm smile when I saw him. “Laith, why don’t you come over here and meet Sarah,” he managed to say before getting back to moving the bales of hay. I extended my hand to a dirt covered deliciously musty man. He gave me a half grin and took my hand firmly in his. “I’m Laith, nice to meet ya!” he practically shouted. “I hope my father is treating you okay,” I blushed. “Hell, Darlin, he gets better treatment than my own son,” my dad scuffed. “Daddy, you don’t have a son,” I laughed. I walked slowly to my car hoping to catch Laith’s attention. As I grabbed my small garment bag it fell open and the contents sprawled out in the mud. I began to pick up the various garments when I noticed Laith walking in my direction. “Looks like you are having some problems there,” he was holding back a deep laugh. “And the understatement of the year award goes to…” I managed to get out before laughing so hard my face blushed. I reached for all of my undergarments before he had a chance to help retrieve them. “I guess I won’t be rescuing you today after all,” he teased. “I’m no damsel in distress.” I countered. I felt myself turn crimson as I saw him reaching for a red lacey pair of panties that I apparently forgot. He plucked them from the ground. “And what is going on over here?” I heard my father say from behind me. “Daddy, I was just trying to get my bags,” I blushed. “Is that how Laith ended up with the girly briefs?” he questioned. “My bag broke and he was just helping me,” I laughed. Laith blushed as soon as he realized what he was holding and handed over the panties before quickly walking away. At that moment I heard my cell ring. “Saved by the bell!” I yelled as I held up my phone shaking it in my father’s face. He shrugged and smiled as he walked away. “Are you here yet?” I heard my best friend Alexia’s voice question on the other end. “I have been here for a few embarrassing minutes, where are you?” I asked. “On my way!” she screamed like a schoolgirl. “Why did we go to colleges so far away again?” she questioned. “Because we are asking for trouble,” I laughed. “I’ll be there in ten!” she hung up. I spent the next ten minutes unpacking and throwing the soiled garments into the washing machine. I heard the door open and the familiar sound of heels clacking across the hardwood floors. “Sara!” Alexia screamed. “I missed you so much!” “I’m just so glad to finally be home, and in my own bed,” I smiled. “P.S. did you see the eye candy outside?” she giggled. “He isn’t eye candy, he is Laith,” I scolded. “He is my dad’s ranch hand.” “Oooh, I think somebody has a little crush,” she teased. “I don’t have a crush!” I challenged. “Excuse me, rosy,” she laughed. “You are so red!” “Is it obvious?” I pouted. “Um, yeah, but that is okay you are hott!” she smiled. “If I had your body, I’d let every man know that I was single and looking!” “Okay, now you are just being a friend,” I laughed. “Okay, you caught me,” she countered. “So, what are our plans for the evening ma lady?” I asked. “I told Jess and Becca we would meet at Dixies and catch up,” she replied. “Just let me change clothes and fill in pops and then we can head out okay?” “Sure, I’m gonna go stare at Laith,” she smiled. I shook my head as I began to search through my clothes. I pulled out a faded pair of blue jeans, a green tank top, and decided on my old boots. I allowed my auburn hair to fall down my back and simply put on some lip gloss. As I walked outside I caught a glimpse of Alexia smiling and laughing with Laith. “Laith, you won’t mind if I steal her, will you?” I smiled. “No, I have to go shower before we go out anyway,” he said. “We? Are you going to Dixies with us tonight?” I asked hopefully. “Alexia invited me to go, and since I am semi new here I accepted the invite. You don’t mind do you?” he smiled. “No, not at all,” I smiled and blushed. “Sara, we need to go pick up Jess and Becca! Oh, and I’m driving!” she yelled. We climbed into Alexia’s 1998 Jeep Wrangler and we were on our way. “You’re welcome!” Alexia bragged. “For what?” I asked slyly. “Fine, don’t give me the credit I deserve!” she laughed. “I’ll keep him for myself!” I puffed out my bottom lip. “Thanks honey!” “He is totally into you Sara!” she added. “How do you know? Did you ask him? Come on you’re killing me!” I blushed. “No, but he asked me if you are seeing anybody in particular.” She grinned. Just then I felt a jolt like never before. We were hit. We were hit hard. I could feel my body being tossed around like a rag doll. I remember hearing Alexia scream as the jeep was rolled over and over again. That’s all I remembered until I woke up in the intensive care unit at Mercy hospital. I ached all over. I looked around the room. I saw my dad come running back into the little white room. “Oh my God, she’s awake!” he yelled. “Somebody come quick, she is awake!” “Baby, are you okay? How are you feeling?” He asked. I tried to talk but there were tubes coming out of my mouth. “Don’t talk,” I heard the Doctor say from my other side. “If you are in significant pain, blink twice.” I did just that. I felt as though I had been turned inside out. Tears were running down my face uncontrollably. I looked over to my dad. He was smiling through his tears. “You are going to be okay baby,” he whispered. “Thank God,” he added. Over the next few days I learned that a drunk driver hit us going 58 mph at just the right spot to cause Alexia’s jeep to flip. I was thrown 15 feet and was in a coma for nine days. As for my best friend of 13 years, Alexia Collins, she was killed. I was still sore from the major surgeries that I had to endure due to internal bleeding and my broken ribs weren’t making life any easier for me. I was finally released two weeks later when I was able to walk and eat on my own. When the day arrived I was both happy and sad. I was happy to go home to my bed but, I had to realize that my best friend wasn’t coming too. “I just want to go home to my bed, daddy.” I pouted. “We will be home shortly, Darlin,” he answered. “Why did she have to die? She was a good person, Daddy. She was going to be a teacher! Now what is going to happen?” I pleaded as if he could change anything. “Everyone has a plan, and it was her time to go. I am sorry that you have to learn this lesson at your age. I wish I could change this for you,” he added. I just shook my head and let the tears flow freely down my cheeks. We pulled into the drive of our two story ranch style home. I looked around, half expecting to see Alexia come from around the corner; I put my head down and went to my room. Later that night, once the sun went down, my dad came up with soup and a sandwich. “Please eat, Darlin,” dad pleaded. “I don’t want to lose you too.” I slurped some tomato soup and nibbled at a grilled cheese sandwich. “Daddy?” I looked up. “Yes, Darlin?” he was quick to respond. “I’m not going back to school in the fall. I need a semester at home to deal.” I said solemnly. “That can be arranged,” he answered. For the next week I stayed hidden in my room. I stepped outside and felt the warm Texas summer sun hit my skin. It felt nice, and I could feel my body warm through. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I have to say, you are looking much better today!” I heard Laith attempt to make me smile. “I feel much better today, thanks,” I half smiled. “Have you seen my dad around?” I asked heading towards the barn. “He said that he would be in town for a few days helping a friend put up a fence for discounted feed. I told him that I would help you if you needed anything,” he boasted. “Thanks,” I smiled for real this time. “I really am sorry about your friend. She seemed like such a good person,” he offered sincerely. “I just miss her a lot,” I replied. He looked down. I could tell he didn’t really know what to say to me. I grabbed a brush and headed to the stables to see Posquaw, my paint. As I stepped foot into the stables the familiar aroma of hay and horse poop hit my nostrils. I was home. I began to brush Posquaw’s soft mane. “Hey girl, did you miss me?” I babied. She nudged my neck as if to say, I love you and I am here for you. “Do you always talk to her like that?” I heard Laith’s voice from behind me. “Yes. She is my best friend,” I answered slightly embarrassed. “Me too, Chip is my favorite though,” he said pointing at the male paint in the corner stall. I continued to brush smiling to myself. “So do you just groom, or do you ride?” he asked half jokingly. “Oh, I ride plenty,” I answered, “in fact, I am heading down to the creek that Lex and I used to play near when we were kids, want to join?” I added. “Lead the way,” he smiled. |
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http://zoho.com/
try this site, its a great place to share your work, have others contribute, edit comment etc..you can edit on your book online.. |
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it sounds great so far=)
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it sounds great so far=) thanks hun! |
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Ah, a fellow writer. I am writing a fiction novel.
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Aren't you suppose to pay for editing? LOL
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Aaaah the things we do for Mingle pals...Read it sounds good...Good Luck getting published. It is definitely a rush when you do.
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i emailed you but i got no answer =(
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Wow, impressive!
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Wow, impressive! thanks hun.. |
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