I had gotten some prior hints.

One day my wife was telling me that there was a haunted house near where her mother lived. I asked her how she knew it was haunted.

She said, "Well, all the kids in the neighborhood would sneak in there at night and they would see the ghosts," except she pronounced "ghosts" with two syllables, like "ghost-es."

I had never heard this pronunciation before, so I asked her "How would you spell ghost-es?"

And she said G H O S T E S T

So now she had turned it into a superlative.

She was the ghostest girl I ever knew.

Here's the ironic thing -- two weeks ago, I was at Wal-Mart, and they had a Halloween shirt that said "Ghostest with the Mostest" on it.

Life imitates....well, not art, exactly....more like illiteracy?

You know what is funny.... I think we are the most dumbestest relationship seekers yet. No, past tense. We were.

How did you end up with a religiously preoccupied and delusional idiot and I got a criminal and controlling sociopath? What were we thinking?

I can see it now. The Lilith and Goof show.

Lilith: "Ya know Goof, I just can't seem to grasp the logic behind you believing that Republicans are good."

Goof: "Oh really. Well, with the way you leftist, liberal mind works, I can see why you would be blind to all truth. You watch way to much CNN."


Lilith: "And FOX news is all knowing right? That is complete heresey. That's right, I just said heresey."


Goof: "I can't help it that you believe that An Inconvenient Truth and all of Michael Moore's films are "gospel" truth. You are just so easily..."


Lilith: "Don't say it! You know that I try and see your point too Goof, but you still wanna shove O' Reily quotes down my throat."


Goof: "That's cause the man is a genius....a pure genius...and you know he is....."


Lilith: "Full of hot air? No doubt about it. Ugh! Sometimes talking to you is just maddening."


(Their is a quietness for about 10 seconds, as we hear a cricket chirping for good sound effects)


Goof: "Soooo...we still on for tonight for bondage sex at Satan's House of Love?"


Lilith: "You bet!"


Okay....resume thread please.

Well -- I had just ended a 5-year, on-again-off-again relationship with a girl who had all sorts of drug/alcohol problems.

And my friend Barb tells me, "I know someone you would really like," and she introduces me to this girl who is really cute (she looked a lot like Tiffani-Amber Thiessen from "Saved By The Bell," only shorter), funny, and not at all reluctant to show she was interested.

She moved in with me two days later.

Stupid, I know.

And then she started in with "I really think we should get married." A hundred times a day. And I sort of talked myself into it, thinking, well, maybe I could use some stability in my life. (At that point, I hadn't yet realized that marriage and stability are completely unrelated.)

Four months later, we were married.

And it lasted about a year and a half. The longer we were together, the more demanding and possessive and jealous she got. I had two close female friends, both of whom were like sisters to me -- and who I would hang out with practically every day.

My wife was fine with it, at first, but gradually started complaining about it.

She got to the point where I actually had to take her to work with me because she refused to stay home by herself. At that time, I had a job which required me to go to a bunch of different stores in the Chicago area and check on stock levels, etc., for an appliance company, which meant I could take her along -- but I didn't always want to.

It got so bad that I ended up dropping her off at her mother's house on weekends just so I could spend some time with my friends. And it was on those weekend visits to her mother's house that she started the drugs. And that's when I ended it.

To be honest, I was looking for a reason to end it even before that. But that was the last straw.

HOT DAMN, LILLY'S GETTING LUCKY TONIGHT.....

Lex dear, this thread is all about the hijack...

I'm beginning to see that....!!

Lexy.... So I get the hint. Continue to be persistent and I will win you for as long as I can hang on to you by my pinky fingernails while you try to walk out the door. Taking notes....

Persistence is good. Fingernails, properly applied, are even better....

HAPPY FRIDAY TO ALL!!! It's about time!!!

Read My Lips....NO NEW TAXES!!!!

When I was 16 I went to a Baptist church in our small town, my friends dad was the pastor, and one Sunday night after services we went out to eat, I was sitting with my mom and a deacon of the church. My mom was going on about how I did well in school, was going to graduate early go to college, played sports and worked. The deacon asked where do you work.

I said "Twin Valu" which was a 24 store, kinda like grocery store meets Target kinda thing that was about 30 minutes from my house.

He said "I hate to go in there on the first of the month."

I said "Yes, it is really busy, sometimes you can't get thrrough the isles."

He said "Yes and it's full of (the N word)"

I said to him "You are the deacon of a church and you act like you are better than someone else? My God doesn't see color, you should be ashamed of yourself."

I walked outside and sat at the car, I thought for sure my mom was gonna kick my ass for talking to an adult like that, she came out a few minutes later, got in the car and we drove home, about 10 minutes down the road while we were in complete silence she said.

"I've never been more proud of you than I was today in that restaraunt."

Not another word was ever said about it.

Oh right.... I'm a dirty Pagan... hmmm I wonder why?

Yeah, that debate last night was about as exciting as watching poker on television.

Palin would be a great PTA lady. Biden is a stinky public speaker. It was a snooze and I fell asleep to Tom Brokaw's recap. I will confess I only turned the debate on at 10:15.....

How is the pseudo republican today?

Do any of you think it's funny I'm considering meeting a cop who doesn't vote, wears cowboy boots and drives a truck?

Palin would say that but she can't form the words...

NO.

Are you coming on Saturday?

Lily.... I can say with all honesty (like that disclaimer?) and a firm belief that 90% of religious people are some of the most judgmental, self centered, and hypocritical people I've ever encountered. And in my profession, suddenly finding religion is the biggest red flag there is. I just can't deal with organized religion.... it irks me. And honestly, I feel judgmental judging all the judgmental hypocrites, which is exhausting...

Only a dirtly little Pagan girl would say that about my "Dream" woman.

Hi JT! where is your cutey pie pic?

My plan would be to meet the cop, make out with him for a bit, and then come up. he works 10 to 8.... but I have not discussed this plan with him, yet, so we will see. But yes, I want to go.

What time does it start? Will you mail me with details?

I will confess I don't pay any attention to any of it anymore. Whoever is elected will not be "my" president, regardless. I consider myself an anarchist and will have no part in a process in which flawed and fallible human beings are given sanctioned authority over other flawed and fallible human beings. Like Lord Acton said: "Power tends to corrupt; absolute power corrupts absolutely."



I don't know that I'd characterize it as "funny" -- maybe more like a little "out of character"? But sometimes it's good to be open-minded....

Although I personally would never date anyone who wore cowboy boots -- bad marriage flashback....