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| Topic: what should i do | |
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i just dont like taking money from a woman,even tho i know she owes it i dont want to make things harder on her ..sometimes well most of the time being a good person has screwed me time and again ....if only i could turn into Dr.Evil than i could demand back support in the sum of (pinky to the lips) ONE MILLION DOLLARS...
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Edited by
SharpShooter10
on
Sun 09/21/08 01:47 AM
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Hope it works out for you tomb
Had similar wonders myself when I was raising my youngest daughter. I chose not to go through the hassle and left it alone, It's a hard decision. I wasn't hurting bad enough for money at the time to make it worth the effort of court and all, had enough of that in the divorce. Best wishes and hope it works out for you mini me pinky to lips - a million dollars 
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Tomb...
dont think for a second if the tables were turned that she wouldnt have you in court making you pay every dime she could get ... That being said... Im a single Mom.. My kids dad is ordered to pay child support he just doesnt. so I knwo how tough it can be sometimes. This really isnt about you or her, its about your child. She brought him/her into this world and needs to help make sure that kiddo has everything they need... |
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Edited by
michiganman3
on
Sun 09/21/08 05:35 AM
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My brother's ex-wife came after him, she could only get 37 dollars a month for 2 kids out of him, but she got it. He never had another thing to do with his kids after their divorce. Sad.
They wern't even notified when he was ill and dieing. He didn't leave them a dime, and trust me he had plenty. Get the money. |
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i just dont like taking money from a woman,even tho i know she owes it i dont want to make things harder on her ..sometimes well most of the time being a good person has screwed me time and again ....if only i could turn into Dr.Evil than i could demand back support in the sum of (pinky to the lips) ONE MILLION DOLLARS... Tom, It's really not about taking money from a woman. It's about her being responsible for her child. A child deserves no less. |
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If the daughter is 18 she is more then capable of getting a job and helping her mom out so you can receive support for your son, who happens to be her son as well.... If she had the time to lay down and get pregnant, then she should make the time to help support her son.....
I have 2 myself and it's a struggle to get anything from their dad |
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If the daughter is 18 she is more then capable of getting a job and helping her mom out so you can receive support for your son, who happens to be her son as well.... If she had the time to lay down and get pregnant, then she should make the time to help support her son..... I have 2 myself and it's a struggle to get anything from their dad 
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If the daughter is 18 she is more then capable of getting a job and helping her mom out so you can receive support for your son, who happens to be her son as well.... If she had the time to lay down and get pregnant, then she should make the time to help support her son..... I have 2 myself and it's a struggle to get anything from their dad you are killing me |
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If what you are relating here is correct in the details, then in my opinion it wouldn't be worth your time, trouble, and heartache to try to get his bum to help take care of her own kid. You can't force a parent to love its child--and there's a lot of evidence here that she doesn't. If you try to make her call the kid or take some role in the kid's life, it probably won't work and the kid will end up being miserable. If she's enough of a bum to lie about her income so that she can be on Medicaid, then she's enough of a bum to find some way out of having to pay child support. This is just my opinion, of course, and of course you're going to end up doing what you think is right regardless of what anyone tells you. But always consider whether the spoils are worth the battle; here you're likely looking at legal costs, scenes in court, accusations flying everywhere, all that happy horsesh!t that starts whenever someone asks a bum for money. And yeah: What if she tries to kill herself again? What if she calls the kid and starts telling the kid lies about you and messing the kid's head up? She SHOULD love her child and she SHOULD take some responsibility but you know she's not going to. I do think the background check might be an excellent idea, though. That might give you more information so that you can decide whether to fight or not. I hope this is helpful. Good luck to you! yours in Chaos, Scarlett I have to agree with this |
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The saddest thing of all in the situation is that she isn't having any communication with your son---and hers! Don't know how a parent can be like that. He's lucky to have you. I'm sure if the tables were turned, she probably would be asking you for support. But, if financially it doesn't put you in a bind to not get whatever she could contribute to his support, I'd probably not pursue it. But that's just me.
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and alot of good answers but like i said this is more of a moral dilemma,even though i helped her raise two other children who are in their thirties now that was my choice.
she and i just didnt meld and that was my mistake for getting involved with her so soon after losing my best friend..i made a big mistake, she wants to milk the system and i wanted better than that and of course when we were having problems her parents always enabled her rather than tell her to get off her a ss and help me,but im sure when she talked with her parents they only heard her side of thae story.. and of course when she was seeing a psychiatrist he told her the problems were 50/50 of course i asked her how could this genius come to that conclusion when he hadnt even met me nor heard my side of things,but i suspect he wouldnt tell her it was all her fault for fear that she might attempt suicide again. it really wasnt much of a choice to laeve you see because one night when i went to give my son a hug good night i noticed his bedroom door was locked after he unlocked it and laid back down i went to hug him and reached under his pillow to hug that little body and found he was sleeping with his bb gun under his pillow ,when i asked him why it was there he said he was afraid mommy was going to kill him too... but aside from all this i slept on my decision last night and have come to the realization that i want no part of her in our lives because it just upsets the hell out of me... someone o k several women have asked where have all the good guys went,well there are a few out there,they just have big hearts and dont want to get hurt any more so a solitary life is easier for some rather than take a chance i will always remain in the tombs ... once again thank you all for your answers and i hope each and every one of you find the love you so much deserve.. 
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Sounds like leaving it be,
may be the best thing to do. I raised my first two without support because it was the best thing to do. I recieved support for my other two. So I kind of had it both ways. lol Then I helped raise two that their Mother was not around much, and never paid a cent to support them- to their Father. Sometimes kids are way better off without the drama it may cause. It is far better to have one good parent, than to have one good ~versing~ one bad all the time. JMO These parents that are'nt in the childs life are going to regret it later in life. Sometimes though it is better for the child, to not have all of that drama and BS in their lives. {{{{Tomb}}}} Quit running (or is that rolling)! I can't catch you! Wow- I just love Beach balls!    Seriousely not all Women are like that. When your ready, you will know it. I used to feel pretty much the same way, scared "****less" to feel anything, and not wanting to get hurt anymore. Comes a time in our lives, where we learn to live again. Some of us Women are fury, and hug everything in site.  |
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I had two pretty crappy marriages, but I know that all men aren't like the two I married. The people I date are really nice, I just haven't had great luck in the ones I married.
I hope that someday you meet someone nice!
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and alot of good answers but like i said this is more of a moral dilemma,even though i helped her raise two other children who are in their thirties now that was my choice. she and i just didnt meld and that was my mistake for getting involved with her so soon after losing my best friend..i made a big mistake, she wants to milk the system and i wanted better than that and of course when we were having problems her parents always enabled her rather than tell her to get off her a ss and help me,but im sure when she talked with her parents they only heard her side of thae story.. and of course when she was seeing a psychiatrist he told her the problems were 50/50 of course i asked her how could this genius come to that conclusion when he hadnt even met me nor heard my side of things,but i suspect he wouldnt tell her it was all her fault for fear that she might attempt suicide again. it really wasnt much of a choice to laeve you see because one night when i went to give my son a hug good night i noticed his bedroom door was locked after he unlocked it and laid back down i went to hug him and reached under his pillow to hug that little body and found he was sleeping with his bb gun under his pillow ,when i asked him why it was there he said he was afraid mommy was going to kill him too... but aside from all this i slept on my decision last night and have come to the realization that i want no part of her in our lives because it just upsets the hell out of me... someone o k several women have asked where have all the good guys went,well there are a few out there,they just have big hearts and dont want to get hurt any more so a solitary life is easier for some rather than take a chance i will always remain in the tombs ... once again thank you all for your answers and i hope each and every one of you find the love you so much deserve.. Well, from what you've said about her and the things she's done, my personal opinion is that you are making the right choice. For all you know, you could ask for the financial support and then she could demand visitation, and then that could start a whole mess of things. If my child ever had to be scared so bad that she had to sleep with something to protect herself from that person, I wouldn't let that person back in her life ever again. Above everything else, always think of the best interest of your child, which I think is exactly what you are doing!
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Some will say make her pay but in the long run is is worth going to court over and then granting her visitation rights in the long run. Who would that benefit she has not wanted to see the child up till now. And in order to set child support you will be letting a can of worms open for her to come back on you for her rights to see the kid even if she don't want to will most likely do it just to get back at you for what you did.
When I got my divorce I settled for $150 a month for two kids just so he would sign and leave me alone some said I was crazy for I could have gotten more. But to me it was worth the peace of mind. We struggled but if you really want to you can do anything to make ends meet. I worked one job and did not go on the system and we still made it just fine. So do what your heart tells you not what some extra money could buy!! |
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