THE RULES OF RURAL OHIO ARE AS FOLLOWS:

Listen up City Slickers !

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.

3. Let's get this straight; it's called a 'dirt road.' I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are cattle. They're live steaks. That's why they smell funny to you. But they smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-70 goes east and west, I-71 goes north and south. Pick one.

5. So you have a $60,000 car. We're impressed. We have $150,000 corn pickers and hay balers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.

6. So every person in rural Ohio waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.

7. If that cell phone rings while an 8-point buck and 3 does are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.

8. Yeah, we eat taters & gravy, beans & cornbread. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at Jim's bait shop.

9. The 'Opener' refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.

10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

11. No, there's no 'vegetarian special' on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.

12. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup. Oh, yeah .... We don't care what you folks in Cincinnati call that stuff you eat ... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!

13. You bring 'coke' into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice.

14. You bring 'Mary Jane' into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.

15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Cavs and the Knicks, and more fun to watch.

16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it spooks the fish.

17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Community Colleges, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.

18. We have a whole ton of folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.

19. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump crap ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers. Refer back to #1.

20. 4 inches isn't a blizzard - it's a flurry. Drive in it like you got some sense, and DON'T take all our bread, milk, and bleach from the grocery stores. This ain't Alaska , worst case you may have to live a whole day without croissants. The pickups with snow blades will have you out the next day.

I love it!!!!!

Those used to be the rules in rural New England, as well......glad someone's still holding onto something that matters......

haha, 4inches of snow please im from cleveland snow belt dumps 4inches an hour every hour it snows lol. damn slow drivers

LOL....HOW TRUE,ROBIN!!

Ohioer ya just gotta Love it.

Northeast Ohio rocks.

I really don`t think I would want to live anywhere else.


Except maybe Pennsylvania. Hell the western half of Pennsylvania is Eastern Ohio anyway.

4 inches of snow. Chitt thats how we Buckeyes learn how to walk.

A foot of snow, theres your driving lesson.

I was in Georgia one time. They got 2 inches of snow. everything closed down.

We Buckeyes was out there driving around just havin a good time and they thought we were nuts.

Yep, always out on the worst snow days, checking everything out!!

When, 200 years ago? I'm from rural New England, and I take umbrage to that characterization.




OP, thanks for the positive spin on Ohio. I needed it.

I love this! But in reference to #12, please note that I'm from Cincinnati. HOWEVER... I absolutely can not stand what passes for "chili" around here. Who the hell puts chocolate and cinnamon with their beef and tomato base anyway? Disgusting.

they took our jerbs!

hello every one!

That was the best thing i have read in along time... It's absolutely true......LOVE IT...

you forgot the rule about intolerance and closed-mindedness.

AMEN thank God there is someone out there with common sense!!!

Full of win.

Farmers Unite!

AMEN!!!!! now lets all meet at the mad river, get wasted and go tubing. damn i cannot wait till the summer