I, as a single/divorced/never having a child of my own.. former husband, can try to pass along a couple nuggets of knowledge here, if I may.

Your spouse/partner is more impotant than yourself. If you cannot fathom this simple nugget, then save your time, and read no further.

By this, I mean ........ If you cannot sacrifice for them, wihout thinking.. then you have the wrong partner.

If you will take DEATH before letting your partner get scratched.. then you're with me still.. If they have a child, or children.. They should be...are ... doing that same thing - thinking from the same point... as you, and myself.. If you're still with me..

As a single person.. you're in the 2% that will tolerate/contemplate a relatationship with a partner with a child... I commend you..

All I can say.. is whittled down into a paragraph that's small enough to be read by anyone...

If they have children, and you are not willing to let them put you on the back burner when their child/children has/have needs that need attending... bow out.. say goodbye.. kick your own ass for being selfish..

You are not ready to be in a relationship with that person. It doesn't mean that you are bad. You're just not in the correct frame of mind at this time...

When you're ready to play 2nd.. or 3rd fiddle to a child/children.. With, or without special needs.. That is when you ARE ready to progress into that relationship..