You'd sleep on what???

Dear diary, the picture gypsy took of me and lindsay lohan and her girlfreind turned out. I'm happy. I must go pleasure myself.

Just checking your alertness, O Sleepy One.

DD....good morning.....

dear diary.......it looks like a dark and stormy night but its really a dark and stormy looking morning.........why am I awake?

dear diary........I wonder how much pain cloudy is going to be in when they lop off his ooooooooopsy!!!! I do hope his doctor isnt a drinker...

Dear diary.......I went to a music store yesterday and looked at a tambourine......it was a bit too fancy for what I was looking for......and really big!!!!

I asked the guy at the counter whereeeeeez the normal ones with the drum on the one side????


He looked at me like this....


I felt like this.......

I didnt buy his fanzzzzzzzzzzy azzzzzzzzz tambo!!!!

pawn shop's Gypsy you will find it there

ya I was thinking that.......but those places are so grubby......and sleazy

But they have the best deal's

ya I dont want to spend alot on one.....I just need one for those Hare Krishna nights and to scare the cats when they are fighting!!!

Where is my Purple at


HEY PURPLE COME OUT OF HIDING




I made Food this will surly get her up

G'mornin..........

<<--- the booger woman is awake

Beginner's Cookbook



It's fun to cook for Tom. Today I made angel food cake. The recipe said beat 12 eggs separately. The neighbors were nice enough to loan me some extra bowls.


Tom wanted fruit salad for supper. The recipe said serve without dressing. So I didn't dress. What a surprise when Tom brought a friend home for supper




A good day for rice. The recipe said wash thoroughly before steaming the rice. It seemed kind of silly but I took a bath anyway. I can't say it improved the rice any.




Today Tom asked for salad again I tried a new recipe. It said prepare ingredients; lay on a bed of lettuce one hour before serving. Tom asked me why I was rolling around in the garden..




I found an easy recipe for cookies. It said put the ingredients in a bowl and beat it. There must have been something wrong with this recipe. When I got back, everything was the same as when I left.

Saturday
Tom did the shopping today and brought home a chicken. He asked me to dress it for Sunday. I don't have any clothes that fit it, and for some reason Tom keeps counting to ten.




Tom's folks came to dinner. I wanted to serve roast but all I had was hamburger. Suddenly I had a flash of genius.. I put the hamburger in the oven and set the controls for roast. It still came out hamburger, much to my disappointment.





A woman goes into a coffee shop and notices there's

a 'peel and win' sticker on her coffee cup.



So she peels it off and starts screaming,

'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'



The waitress says, 'That's impossible.

The biggest prize is a free Lunch.?'



But the blonde keeps on screaming,

'I've won a motorhome!

I've won a motorhome!'



Finally, the manager comes over and says,

'Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken.

You couldn't have possibly won a motorhome

because we didn't have that as a prize.



The blonde says, 'No, it's not a mistake.

I've won a motorhome!'



And she hands the ticket to the

manager and HE reads...
(YOU'RE GOING TO LOVE THIS !!!!!! . I PROMISE !)

'W I N A B A G E L'

dear diary.......is it normal to carry your cat around, sing him little songs and then try to burp him????

yes absolutely normal



meow

meow

dd,

yesterday was talk like a pirate day....today is meow like a Pu$$Y day!!!


meow

puuururrurur