If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it !)

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet. (O.M.G.!)

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy.)
(I'm still not over the pig.)

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Don't try this at home, maybe at work.)

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off. (Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)

The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field. (30 minutes.. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds. (What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)

Some lions mate over 50 times a day. (I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity.)

Butterflies taste with their feet. (Something I always wanted to know.)

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.(Hmmmmmm......)

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)

A cat's urine glows under a black light. (I wonder who was paid to figure that out?)

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)

Starfish have no brains. (I know some people like that, too.)

Polar bears are left-handed. (If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)

Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (What about that pig??)

interesting

So if you had sex 4 times in a row, what would you be?



Bacon hanging on the rack!

The farmer would look at you and decide that since you are just going lay around, he might as will get something out of you too!

Rats the pigs mean I can't use it in class. Though the osterich part might mean they wouldn't understand it.

Ooops have middle school students...they would pick up on the Pig part.

Then again I do have some star fish.

They would not understand copulate...but then the blasted Pig issue arises againg.

Guess I wouldn't want to be a pig after all.

Hence comes the expression.....................




Makin Bacon.

Can you even imagine what the students would think if you showed them the joke just the way it is?

Well it wouldn't be a bad as the teacher who was looking at an "Adult Only" website on his laptop while students were taking a test. Only problem...individual did not remember his computer was hooked up to a projector and his screen was being seen by the entire class.

DUH!!!!! Can you say "Immediate Dismissal"???

OMG!! No way!!!

Unfortunately...it is true. Will not name the school sytem other than it is NOT the one I work for.

Can you say STUPID?????

That was beyond stupid, Redshirt. I wouldn't want that man teaching my kid.