Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night. The next day she told her husband
that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's
10 best friends. None of them knew about it.


Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night. The next day he told his wife that he
had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her husband's 10
best friends.

Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over and two claimed that he
was still there.
Five best jokes of the year:
Fourth Place:


A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes
into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and
says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll
forgive
me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221."



Third Place:


One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his
wife's arm.
The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist
appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh. " The husband, rejected,
turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife
again.
"Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"



Runner Up:


Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number
of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a
terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle
slicer.
His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it,
but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the
compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his
wife could see at
once that something was seriously wrong.

What's wrong, Bill?" she asked.

"Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put
my penis into the pickle slicer?"
"Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed.
"Yes, I did." he replied.
"My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired."
"No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?"
" Oh...she got fired too."



Winner:

A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the
breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years
ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together."
"I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a
jaybird fifty years ago."
"Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times."
Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You
know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are
as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago."
"I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the
other is in your oatmeal."

Ha haha ha hah! I think that I have opened my mouth too wide laughing
and MY JAWS IS SPLIT!!

OMG that's funny as hell.

I SO needed a good laugh today!!
Thanks!!!

the third place one about the dentist appointment is hilarious omg!!! i
spit my soda out i needed that, nice one!! ^.^ hehe