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| Topic: Moving in together | |
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Has he asked you to move in?
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Has he asked you to move in? No..the topic hasnt come up yet |
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save yorself,,,,,,,,,,run run run
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save yorself,,,,,,,,,,run run run im getting tired of running, no more running for me 
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Back to the orig question, I would say at the very least after one year of a non-long distance relationship, pref longer. try phasing it in, stay a week here, 2 weeks there and if he says he needs space then retreat back. its like ww1 trench warfare.
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When do you feel is the right time to discuss taking that next step? I'm in no rush but im just curious to know other people's input. When is discussing this topic appropriate without scaring the other person?   Very good question... Especially for two independant adults. How do you decide who moves in with who? What happens if one or both of you have a mortgage? Moving in can be very complicated and it's a big committment. I don't really have any blanket answers. It really depends on your relationship. |
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it's best to keep independent places for a while
until you are spending so much time together that one of you will likely have to decide whether to renew a lease - then the subject will come up naturally. if there are two houses it gets more complicated but usually one residence is more desirable and it will be time for a long term commitment by both partners. if there is financial stress sometimes this precipitates a decision but it's not ideal to have to make such a move under duress. as many have noted here, there are often legal ramifications to moving in together which should be understood and considered. but usually it is good to maintain your independence until it comes up naturally. if the relationship is going really well then one can bring up the topic at any time! either party. communicate!! 
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I had this question nagging at me recently..............but it was answered by my bf without me even asking it..........its a natural progression and it takes a really committed and confident relationship to get at that level...............so just let it be and let nature take its course..........
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it's best to keep independent places for a while until you are spending so much time together that one of you will likely have to decide whether to renew a lease - then the subject will come up naturally. if there are two houses it gets more complicated but usually one residence is more desirable and it will be time for a long term commitment by both partners. if there is financial stress sometimes this precipitates a decision but it's not ideal to have to make such a move under duress. as many have noted here, there are often legal ramifications to moving in together which should be understood and considered. but usually it is good to maintain your independence until it comes up naturally. if the relationship is going really well then one can bring up the topic at any time! either party. communicate!! Those are all exceppent points! You have a way of summarizing things very well. And you are absolutely right about one important thing - Communicate! My boyfriend and I brought up that subject pretty early on. He has been burned before (as you said, there are legal ramifications of living with someone and when things go bad they can go very bad), so he will not be ready to move in with someone again until he is ready for marriage. Knowing things like that help us both to put the relationship and future in perspective. |
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I had this question nagging at me recently..............but it was answered by my bf without me even asking it..........its a natural progression and it takes a really committed and confident relationship to get at that level...............so just let it be and let nature take its course..........
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it's best to keep independent places for a while until you are spending so much time together that one of you will likely have to decide whether to renew a lease - then the subject will come up naturally. if there are two houses it gets more complicated but usually one residence is more desirable and it will be time for a long term commitment by both partners. if there is financial stress sometimes this precipitates a decision but it's not ideal to have to make such a move under duress. as many have noted here, there are often legal ramifications to moving in together which should be understood and considered. but usually it is good to maintain your independence until it comes up naturally. if the relationship is going really well then one can bring up the topic at any time! either party. communicate!! Those are all exceppent points! You have a way of summarizing things very well. And you are absolutely right about one important thing - Communicate! My boyfriend and I brought up that subject pretty early on. He has been burned before (as you said, there are legal ramifications of living with someone and when things go bad they can go very bad), so he will not be ready to move in with someone again until he is ready for marriage. Knowing things like that help us both to put the relationship and future in perspective. Another good point, communication is key. You need to talk about your feelings and what you want in the future. But, there has to be a right time for that too. |
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honestly i think guys like to say when...if u are moving in with them... guess it depends on who is doing the moving....
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I lived with one woman. I had just been ripped off by someone who had punched holes into my wall. The place was too isolated and I still had some items I did not want to be taken. I was about to look for another place...when the discussion took place.
It just happens. Personally, I would never go out with anyone who says "never". They are looking for extended one night stands and nothing serious in my opinion. |
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When it feels right.
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Edited by
angelindarkness
on
Thu 01/01/09 10:51 AM
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Those are all exceppent points! You have a way of summarizing things very well. And you are absolutely right about one important thing - Communicate! My boyfriend and I brought up that subject pretty early on. He has been burned before (as you said, there are legal ramifications of living with someone and when things go bad they can go very bad), so he will not be ready to move in with someone again until he is ready for marriage. Knowing things like that help us both to put the relationship and future in perspective. Points well taken. My two experiences with "living with men": I was asked once after only a month or so, but it didn't happen till we were together 7 months because they couldn't afford the move to the next county. The expectation in permitting them to move in with me was that we planned on marrying and spending our lives together. The time before that, I was asked after 3 months. Only, it didn't happen till we were together almost a year, visiting each other cross country several times. Why? Again, they couldn't afford the move. Both times, I had to foot the move. Both times, they moved in with me. NEXT time....if there is a next time (my choice), I will only live with someone full time after marriage....and they won't be living off me. |
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Just pack up your stuff and show up on their doorstep. See what happens.  What happens is....they get "escorted" out. No one deserves to be taken advantage of and you have every right to protect yourself and your property.
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Personally I would prefer to move in together after marriage.
I really do not see the grand advantage of living together before marriage, although I do recognize that it is very important to some people. |
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if you hang out and are kissing more than 4 times a week and having sex 3 or more times a week.Save alot of money on gas and just move in.  Well, thats just it, i do drive back and forth a lot and i do basically live there part time. What he can't drive? Or is there another reason that you are visiting him? |
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