No one cares to comment
on the train wreck that has become my life
Spewing emotions like vomit
hesitation marks from the knife
I wish I could just be happy
but my mental cancer eats away at my hope
No one wants to see
What I've become and how I can't cope

I try to get up everyday
but everyday is colorless and insincere
my life is almost always gray
with green and red flashes of anger and jealousy dear
You get to move on and forget
I'm just and afterthought after your fluids exchange
You wonder how I can be so upset
You knew me once as happy now happiness just feels strange

I won't try to hurt you and make your life like mine
I know I should be happy that your life is going fine
But I am sinking, falling, breaking through rock bottom
into a never ending cycle a void, boys smoke 'em if you got 'em

I'll drink to your happiness
in my never ending loneliness
as I sit alone depressed
just emotions flooding, sitting thoughtless
I'll shave my head and just hide
from the sun and outside
Until a god will decide
that today is a good day for me to die

Blood is splattered on the wall
and I'm making out shapes and words in the mess
I broke my phone so I won't call
So you don't have to hear me depressed
The hope I had for things to come
built me high then the structure fell apart
Love can belong to some
But there is no love for a broken heart

And I sit inside to drink my coffee and smoke another cigarette
Inhale the burning cancer exhale while I talk to see my breath
I guess self destruction is something I can pick up easily
I'll stay away from the sun, the world is sunnier with out me

cheer up will ya

That's pretty dark Man...You all right?
Ted

Well, you do appear to enjoy basking and wallowing in misery. How can anybody possibly comment on that?

I'm trying to cheer up, I'm ok not gonna do anything too permanent. And I wouldn't call it enjoying the misery, just don't know how to feel happy anymore.