What Republicans Thinks about Democrats:

A traveller wandering on an island inhabited entirely by cannibals comes
upon a butcher shop. This shop specialised in human brains
differentiated according to source. The sign in the shop read:
Artists' Brains $9/oz
Philosophers' Brains $12/oz
Scientists' Brains $15/oz
Republicans' Brains $19/oz
Democrats' Brains $2,000/oz

Upon reading the sign, the traveller noted, "My those Democrats' brains
must be popular!" To which the butcher replied, "Are you kidding! Do you
have any idea how many Democrats you have to kill to get a ounce of
brains?!"

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Q: What is a recent Democrat graduate's usual question in his first job?
A: What would you like to have with your french fries, sir?

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If all the Democrats were laid end to end

a) it would be a good thing
b) they would be more comfortable
c) they would never reach a conclusion
d) all of the above
e) none of the above
f) they would point in different directions

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The National Institute of Health (NIH) announced that they were going to
start using Democrats instead of rats in their experiments. Naturally,
the Democratic National Committee was outraged and filed suit, but NIH
presented some compelling reasons for the switch:

1) NIH lab assistants become very attached to their rats. This emotional
involvement was interfering with the research being conducted. No such
attachment could form for a Democrat.
2) Democrats breed faster.
3) Democrats are much cheaper to care for and PETA won't object
regardless of the experiment.
4) There are some things even rats won't do.

Drawbacks: It is difficult to extrapolate test results to human beings.

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Q. How many Democrats does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just one, but it really gets screwed.

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A guy walks into a DC curio shop. While browsing he comes across an
exquisite brass rat. "What a great gag gift" he thinks to himself. After
****ering with the shop keeper over the price, the man purchases the rat
and leaves. As he's walking down the street, he hears scurrying noises
behind him. Stopping and looking around, he sees undreds, then thousands
of rats pouring out of the alleys and stairwells into the street behind
him. In a panic he runs down the street with the rats not far behind.
The street ends at a pier; he runs to the end of the pier and heaves the
brass rat into the Potomac. All of the rats scurry past him into the
river where they drown. After breathing a sigh of relief and wiping his
brow, the man heads back to the curio shop, finds the shop keeper and
asks, "Do you have any brass Democrats?"

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They say that Christopher Columbus was the first Democrat. When he left
to discover America, he didn't know where he was going. When he got
there he didn't know where he was. And it was all done on a government
grant.

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For three years, the young Democrat took his vacations at a country inn.
He had an affair with the innkeeper's daughter. Looking forward to an
exciting few days, he dragged his suitcase up the stairs of the inn,
then stopped short. There sat his lover with an infant on her lap! "Why
didn't you write when you learned you were pregnant?" he cried. "I would
have rushed up here, we could have gotten married, and the child would
have my name!" "Well," she said, "when my folks found out about my
condition, we sat up all night talkin' and talkin' and we finally
decided it would be better to have a bastard in the family than an
Democrat."

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Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, a conservative Democrat, and an old drunk
are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a
hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? The old drunk, of course, the other
three are mythological creatures.

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A wealthy Democrat had a summer house in the Maine woods. Each summer
he'd invite a different friend (no, that's not the punch line) to spend
a week or two. On one occasion, he invited a Czechoslovakian to stay
with him. They had a splendid time in the country - rising early and
living in the great outdoors. Early one morning they went out to pick
berries for their morning breakfast. As they went around the berry patch
along came two huge bears. The Democrat dashed for cover. His friend
wasn't so lucky and the male bear reached him and swallowed him whole.
The Democrat ran back to his car, drove to town as fast has he could,
and got the sheriff. The sheriff grabbed his rifle and dashed back to
the berry patch with the Democrat. Sure enough, both bears were still
there. "He's in THAT one!" cried the Democrat, pointing to the male. The
sheriff looked at the bears, and without batting an eye, leveled his
gun, took careful aim, and SHOT THE FEMALE.
"Whatd'ya do that for?!" exclaimed the Democrat, "I said he was in the
other!" "Yep," said the sheriff, "and would YOU believe a Democrat who
told you that the Czech was in the Male
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SOCIALISM
You have two cows. The government takes one to give to someone else.

COMMUNISM

You have two cows. The government takes both and gives you the milk.

FASCISM

You have two cows. The government takes both and sells you the milk.

NAZISM

You have two cows. The government takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRACY

You have two cows. The government takes both, shoots one and pours the
milk down the drain.

CAPITALISM

You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

ANARCHY

steal neighbour's bull, shoot the government.

Sooooo, what does this all mean ?

it means i voted for nixon, and he got thrown out the big hourse.

to bad they dont thow out gb!!!!!!!!!!!

Rush Limbaugh? Is that you?

What The Democrats think about Republicans.. hmmm Only one name comes to
Mind
G.W.B

The winner in this year's $1 million prize in the Pillsbury Bake-Off is
a Cream Cheese Brownie Pie created by Roberta Sonefeld from Hopkins,
South Carolina. This pie is so rich; George W. Bush asked it for a
campaign contribution.
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George W Bush Running For President

Thousands of people are expected for the 15th annual Burning Man
festival this year in Black Rock Desert north of Reno, Nevada. This is
the big hippie festival, where people run around naked, drink and get
stoned, or as George W. Bush likes to call it, get ready to run for
president
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George W Bush Campaign Spending

During the Republican primaries, George W. Bush spent his campaign money
at a rate of $200,000 a day and broke Bob Dole's record for most money
spent on an entire presidential campaign. He's spending money so fast, a
national organization of scorned women has made him an honorary ex-wife.
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George W. Bush was out walking when he saw Moses.
"Hey, Moses! STOP!!" he yelled. But Moses walked on, ignoring him. After
a few blocks, Bush caught up with him. "Moses, why didn't you stop and
talk to me?" asked Bush. "Well,"

Moses replied, "the last time I talked to a bush, I wandered the desert
for 40 years."

do you like bill oreilly

how about we throw boths sides out and start all over again.