Sh!t! I was almost there!

I don't know if I posted this one before...


Karen Jane and Nancy are outside their nursing home, having a drink and a smoke, when it starts to rain. Karen Jane pulls out a condom, cuts off the end, puts it over her cigarette, and continues smoking.

Nancy: What in the hell is that?

Karen Jane: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.

Nancy: Where did you get it?

Karen Jane: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day, Nancy h obbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms.

The pharmacist, obviously embarrassed, looks at her kind of strangely (she is after all, over 80 years of age), but very delicately asks what brand of condom she prefers.

"Doesn't matter Sonny, as long as it fits on a Camel."

The pharmacist fainted.

{{Catch}}

Is it joke night???


Dear Diary......I think I might be working too hard....I need some fun!!!

{{{{Nvr}}}}

I'm going through 200ish Emails

Must be a pain being popular!

Do you have a backlog or is that normal, Catch?

Polson,

Hey NVR

I havent been sending them out.
haven't felt good for a bit..
some I havent read from july.
then hotmail only lets me send 14 in 24hrs so my friends get a lil break..

hi catch....miss u............

sorry ...........i banned myself from here lately and i didnt tell u .........so bye

Dear diary........if anyone asks me for anything the answer is NO!!! NONONONOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Im sooooooooooo tired!!

but-but all i wanted was some cheese ?

I even had a bath with lavender bubbles.......and it felt soooooooooooooooo good but then I got bored.....I always get bored in the bathtub......isnt it supposed to be a relaxing time????? WHY DO I GET BORED???

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!

I mean........do I expect a party in the bathtub??? Its supposed to be relaxing and I GET BORED???? I think I may need some sort of therapy for this.......

Dear Diary....I miss my friends and I wanted them to know it...what should i do.......ok...thanks



HOW ARE YOU FINE F*CKING DIARY FRIENDS

Dear diary.........I have to go to the DMV tomorrow to sign a consent form for my son to go get his learners licence!!!

I DONT WANT HIM TO DRIVVVVVVVVVVE!!!!

fine , i was going to share my roasted veggie crackers with you .... but not now !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hey cuppy!!! Which friends are you missing???? Im fukcing AWESOME!!!

i HAVE WINE COOLERS!!! I TRUMPED YOU!!!