if you got hurt in a relationship yrs ago an tryed to move on but cant
get comfortable with anyone how do you ever forget an move on if you
cant forget the bad

u just take it day by day and remember not all women are the same, it
takes time.

Just suck it up and move on, I have many of times. There's always more
around the corner.

not a finding another problem just major cant trust anybody issues .
have been working on this for yrs getting better but cant do the steady
relation thing.or let them get to close.

when your ready and find the right peoson you will dont worrie

thanks i hope ur right

Griz,,,,,ya just keep reaching out til someone MAKES YA FEEL LIKE YOU
"MIGHT" WANT "THEM"....

Lifes past can BE LONG TO FORGET,,,IF NOT EVER FORGET,,
Ya just get REAL, with FORGIVING and LEARN TO BELIEVE AGAIN!!!


My two cents worth!!

appreciate the advice

Trust will come in time and it will when you find the right person. Keep
an open mind and all will come in time

Grizz -- you're not alone, I'm going through something similar. I don't
have an answer, all I do is live one day at a time and try my best to
deal with life and my friends and a whole lot of miscellaneous
distractions.

been doing that since 98 one day at a time
u never forget somethings not like just loosing a mate because they left
or something simple like that

I have recently learned something quite amazing. I have suffered for
years over the "wrongs" that have been done to me and by me, and had
reached the point of near death (literally), with my health. So being a
spiritual soul I started looking in different directions for answers.
There are no easy ones, you know. Anyhow, found some good information in
a book on healing. It says (to oversimplify) that instead of looking at
things in a personal way, to look at them with a 'world view'. In other
words, don't say to yourself "Why did they do that TO ME," or "why did
they TREAT ME SO BADLY". Instead, say to yourself, "what is the lesson
that has been presented to me". "What has been shown to me that will
further me along my life's path". "How has this experience helped me to
learn". And then go a step further and, at least to yourself, thank that
person for helping you to advance in your spiritual journey. I know this
all seems not only difficult but pretty simplistic. The truth is that
since I have stopped being angry, stopped being judgemental, started
being forgiving, both of others and of myself, started being thankful
for all that has come into my life and does come into my life, and
started living in the present, I have had a tremendous change in my
physical well-being and my mental well-being. And the better I feel, the
better I am. And the easier it will be for me to accept a loving,
healthy realtionship. After all, when we make a choice to go into an
unhealthy relationship, we ARE making a choice. We have to be
responsible for our own actions in this world. Make different choices
and you will find that you are a much happier person. It won't always be
easy, but once you start it gets easier every day. May your journey
always be one of loving yourself.

just keep a open mind and keep doing your thing and it will come to you
!

Hi Grizz, I had the same problem and I joined a program to help other
divorced women and learned a whole lot about myself in the process. I
relized issues I had that I didn't even know I had and was able to deal
w/ them and move on and it still amazes me that I am able to trust
again. I was also able to see my wrongs in the relationship for the
first time - instead of just his wrongs. Not to preach but the program
is Celebrate Recovery - it's a Christ centered 12 step program for all
of lifes issues.

I was in a 12 step program once. It was called AA
sorry, just kiddin'

After being hurt numerous times in the past, I just came to a point in
my life that I realized that I have every right to be judgmental and
nonforgiving when it comes to issues that go against my personal values.
I used to begrudgingly "tolerate" a lot of things, simply because I
didn't want to lose him. Now I ask myself, all things considered, why I
even cared.

When you care enough about yourself, you know what your boundaries and
limits are and you won't give two hoots in hades about making judgments
or being intolerant of that which goes against your personal values.

And, though it seems harder and harder to come by these days, there ARE
people out there who share the same values as you do.

My advice is to tread cautiously and don't ever "settle" for less than
you deserve.

Few people realize that most loccal YM/YWCA's have very reasonable
consuling services. No shame in getting help, EVERYBODY need help at
some time in their lives. I did it in my 40's & am proud/glad I did.
Feel free to amil me anytime.