I have a 11 year old son, that is so stuburn..Hes 11 going on 18..Big
for his britches..great boy, smart, loves other kids, has lots of
friends. but why won't he lisen? I have to tell him something 5,6 or 7
times b4 he does it. I'll even call his name numerous times b4 he'll
answer me, then i get mad and start yelling at him...lol..And i
disipline him and he's ok for a while, but does it again and
again..drives me nuts sometimes. any
other parents have this problem? thanks

like what are u asking him to do? and what is his disapline?

just anything buttons, from clean his room to take the garbage out, to
hurry on the computer..etc, etc..lol..anything..and i send him to his
room or i dont let him see friends.

well i had those issues with my youngest daughter omg! anyhow maybe he
can do nothing till chores are done first? do u pay him for chores? or
no activity till his bedroom is picked up? might or might not work... no
tv? that way u dont have to punish him.. send him to his room.. he will
be punishing hisself and living his own concequences. just make it a
rule this is first and nothing till it is done. so as he doesnt do it he
knows hes punishing hiself?

geesh that made no sense... i meant make the rule .. then u dont have to
be punishing him . the punishment will come from his own actions <called
consequences>

I will say one thing, yelling at him will not do any good. I had a
friend once tell me that yelling at a kid is like honking a horn instead
of applying brakes to avoid an accident~~its not going to work!! So if
you are yelling at him, you are not going to get anywhere with him!
I never told my boys something more then 2 times and if I had to tell
them a 3rd time, they knew that they were in deep doo-doo! When they
didn't want to listen what I did was take away computer time~~that was
the killer! I didn't do it for just a day, I did it for a week! Trust
me, if they go without the computer for a week they will start to listen
to you
Trust me, you have many good years to come...it only gets
better...haha

I tell mine that I am going to sell them to Nike in mexico...
they have no idea how good they got it.. hey I wonder if I would get a
discount on my next pair...

Helping a friend with her 12-13 yr olds, she wrote a contract with them;
rules,violations & penalties all on paper & agreed to; with all parties
signed agreement. Helped end the hollering, rule violated; referr to
contract, need to add rules. Family conferance, agreements made & in
writing. Makes the kids responsible for their actions & cuts the
bickering. Bottom line still "I'M MOM that's why."

I would set down with him and say we HAVE to talk,,,NOW, son..
And I would tell him, LOOK BUDDY, If you make me tell you something more
than once, you WILL BE GROUNDED,,NO BUTS,,,NO EXCUSES,,,,Just
grounded,,,you are to old for me to have to yell at you like a young
child,,,you are becoming your own man,
and YOU NEED to START ACTING LIKE IT !!!!
Responsibility and me TRUSTING you all start with YOU growing and NOWING
what will be expected of YOU by ME and everyone you come into contact
with...

Thats something like I had with my two sons,,,and my daughter,,lol But
she is another story,,lol

mine is autistic and part of his delays include "echolalia" thats
repeating something over and over and over and over...or asking the same
question back to back to back to back...
I just blame that on his dad....LMAO!!!

lol@barbie..thats funny...well ty u all for your advice..ive had people
tell me too that hes a boy and typical..putting that deaf ear on,
because he does it to his sister all the time too...
..ahhhh he such a good kid, hes going to grow up successful,
happy & smart..he just wont lisen is all...
kidding

Try problem solving together by,staying calm, listening before jumping
in and reacting,allow time for your son and yourself to both state your
feelings,discussing what can be done differently the next time.
Negotiating when you can, to make your son a part of the process.As
difficult as it is,try not to loose your cool. If you do, your son will
certainly loose his. When rules are there needs to be some consequences
but this has to be carefully thought out. Listen first to what your son
has to say. Make consequences that fit the rules that were broken. For
example if he does not want to do chores then maybe next time you add
another one that is over and above is normal ones. Only make
consequences that you can fallow through with. It is important to give
your child a chance to try again after a mistake.

Parenting is HARD trust me I know. I have come to learn though though
that consistency is the key.

sounds like a nice old fashioned ass paddling may be in order.

Yes Bill cause hitting a child is the answer. The child can't defend him
self or anything so yes hitting works. All you are doing is teaching him
that violence is OK. Would you want to be hit every time you did
something wrong? I highly doubt it.

Hey Whisper...
My son is going to be 15 this summer and he is the same way. At times it
seems as if he is completely brain dead. I agree with you that yelling
is not the answer. Remember the frontal lobe that contains reasoning
ability isn't fully developed until they are 25.......25!!!!!!! In my
case, I am assuming that his lack of compliance to several ordinary
rather simple tasks is due in part to his body and mind changing so
quickly. He has boundries and for now I make sure I walk up to him and
look him straight in the eye when I want something done...sometimes I
stand over him when he does it. I know it won't forever be that way, but
in the meantime, our relationship stays open. Believe it or not he'll
still come into the living room and climb in the recliner with me and
put his head on my shoulder. When he does that it reminds me that he is
still very vulnerable. He wants to act all big and like oh I will or
won't do this but at the end of the day he finds peace in my arms or by
my side!!!! You sound like an excellent mom....continue to guide him
with love and remember 8th grade is no walk in the park but it does
start to improve when they reach highschool.

whisper...
we wouldent want to hurt thier feelings when we disapline them, huh?
not buying that method.

IF YOU WOULD SAY SOMETHING THEY WANTED TO HEAR I BET THEY WOULD LISTEN.

hey broken? One question. As a kid you wanted ice cream (or whatever
treat was your favorite) Did yuo WANT to hear your mom or dad say no?
Sometimes you have to tell them what they do not like or want to hear.

THATS TRUE BUT HOW OFTEN R U TELLING THEM THINGS THAT THEY WANT TO
HEAR. THINK ABOUT IT SO OFTEN ITS DONT DO THIS DONT DO THAT NO YOU CANT
HAVE THIS OR THATS WHATS WRONG WITH YOU, CLEAN YOUR ROOM, BLAUGH BLAUGH
BLAUGH. HOW OFTEN DO YOU LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD. MAYBE THEY DONT LISTEN
CAUSE THERE PARENT WANT CHUT UP LONG ENOUGH FOR THEM TO, OR THERE SO
NEGITIVE, OR THERE ALWAYS PUSHING THEM AWAY SO THE CHILD DOESNT FEEL
LIKE YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT WHATS GOING ON WITH HIM OR HER. IN ANY EVENT
THERE KIDS YOUR THE ADULT YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO FIGURE A WAY TO HAVE
THEM LISTEN TO YOU.

Broken homes do you have childern? Yeah i agree that u should listen to
what ur childern have to say but they have to have rules in thier life
or they will get out of control. YOu give them an inch they are going to
take a mile. and whats with the caps why r u yelling take it down a
couple noches,