marriage changes a relationship?
I have never been married but I was in a ten year relationship. I always hear about how much marriage changes things and I'm curious to know how from some of you who have been there.

just dont do it , nike after market.!!!!

Mine turned into an azzzzzzhole the day after the wedding!!

gypsy i would cater to you.!!!

marriage?yeah right!

jt howzzya bro.1!!

What changes is that sense of familiar ... nothing really surprises you after awhile ... but that doesn't mean it has to be a bad thing ...

I was in a 20 year relationship (married for 14 of them) ... had some experiences that I'd rather not have again ...

...but ...I'd do it again ...and will ...

and i would love to be the rug ya wanna wipe yur feet on .!!!!

I don't wipe my feet ...




I kinda felt like the ratty old rug last time ... it wasn't much fun ...

devotion that knows no limits
companionship without end
forever can truly be promised
your tears are mine, and mine yours
I will love you more every day,
even when we are angry or hurt
there is never an idea of giving up
for richer, for poorer, in sickness and health
thou art blood of my blood, bone of my bone,
we are ONE
'relationship' is a word for unmarried people
'lovers' falls far short of who we are
'in love' is a beginning always growing
others can never know who we are to each other

that's a start on marriage changing things.

Marriage is like a hot bath...........aint so hot after a while!!!!

My experience is that instead of the romance of dating, marriage is more like keeping a business running. You begin to focus more on the day to day horsehit of running a household, trying to coordinate schedules, paying bills, doing chores, running errands, blahblahblah....... and you forget to be a couple. I believe that it's possible to be happily married but it takes a lot more committment than the average person is willing to make. It's too easy to be distracted by an attractive person outside of marriage and get sucked into infidelities, or blame your partner for your unhappiness. I know several couples who are happily married long term, and they all set aside time to work on being a couple, have playtime, forget the kids/chores/bills/etc. They actively seek to improve their intimacy on an emotional, spiritual and physical level. I still have hope because of people like this.

marriage is a life sentence with no chance for parole

I have never been married, but I have seen my mother go through 3 or her 4 marriages. I will say it isn't easy. There is so many things you have to juggle on a daily basis. Especially when you have kids. Although having kids can be very rewarding, it can also be very exhausting. I give kudos to all of the soccer moms out there.

I believe it also takes a lot of the mystery out of the relationship. It doesn't have to if people are willing to slow down and share small dosages of themselves at a time. Some people are not made for marriage because it makes them feel trapped. Communication is an essential part of any relationship/marriage. But this is so intricate for so many. Good communication skills takes practice and active listening. You must be good at multitasking because in a marriage there is certainly a lot of it. You have to be able to find time for each other as a couple and have fun together. It's imperative to have a solid friendship as well as lovers because it's important to like someone just as much as you love them. I have seen way too many love/hate relationships.

How it changes things.. Well, you will be around this person day and day out. The only thing certain in life is change. Therefore people change. It becomes stagnate if you stop participating in the flow. Some people will get bored of routines of everyday marriage. Some will show their true colors after marriage. Some people require more space than others and when married it makes them feel claustrophobic. I could go on and about the negative aspects that could come to pass in marriage. But there are also a lot of wonderful things that can come from marriage. But both people must be committed to making it work. It can be mentally and emotionally draining at times. So the key is to have enough strength to carry on regardless.

Amathyst2, so true. Well said.

I'll be the first to admit, I allowed my marriage to become like this. Didn't have much help from the ex, both in running the "business" and in keeping our relationship going, but still, I was as much to blame as him. Despite all that, though, I'd do it again. I learned a lot and hopefully will put that knowledge into place for the next time.

I think what happens is over time you begin to get comfortable with that person, too comfortable. You have to keep the marriage going with little gestures and such to remind each other why you fell in love with each other.

Too bad neither my ex nor I figured that out before it was too late to save.

You are so right. I have a friend and her & her husband have a weekly date night, the kids go to grandma's and they have their romance. They have been married 42 yrs, I guess it works!