Who says the police don't have a sense of humor? The
following 15 Police Comments were taken off actual Dallas Police car
videos and distributed by Monica Smith, Director DPD Public Relations
Officer:





#15. "Relax; the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."




#14. "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate
a worthless document."




#13. "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."



#12. "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't
know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."





#11. "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I
can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"




#10. "Yes, sir, by all means you can talk to the shift
supervisor if you think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the
shift supervisor?"




#9. "Warning? You want a warning? O.K. I'm warning you that when you
run that stop sign again, I'll give you
another ticket."




#8. "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are
drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"




#7. "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen Pal, fair is a place where
you go to ride on rides, eat cotton
candy, and step in horsey doo!"




#6. "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster
oven."




#5. "No, sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but
now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we want."




#4. "Just how big WERE those two beers?"



#3. "In God we trust, all others we run through CPI C/NCIC."



#2. "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of
yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."





And......... ......... .. THE BEST ONE !!!!!!!



#1 "Excuse me ma'am? You say you thought we didn't give tickets to
pretty women? Well, you're right, we
don't. Now, sign here."

Thats really funny

NOW THAT IS FUNNY

Too Funny

Friend of son's tells story that fits.

Nice looking, busty lady, summer time in the midwest, bra less low cut,
lose top.
Officer pulls her over for speeding.
Very frustrated, as she has many tickets & close to lossing license.
as officer is walking up, she leans to her right, to get paper work out
of glove box.
Crying because she figures this is it for license & just got divorced,
how will she get around?
Officer takes 1 look & asks her why so upset just a minor ticket?
She tells sob story crying more, officer hands paper work back & tells
her to compose herself before driving. Walks away.
As she is putting paper work back in glove box.
She realizes shoulder belt had pulled her blouse under 1 breast & she
had been hanging out the entire time.
Plans to used that when ever poss.

oidsage, fyi, ya gotta have boobs that hang.....ya know some of us r
tiny tippies and it won't work, so we have to cry.

OMG. Too FUNNY!

LOL to Oldsage and Duffy too.

Hey Karma,

I enjoyed the hell outta that....really good stuff.

Benzy

Karma, My little bro is training to be a sheriff,I'm going to send this
to him. He's got a hell of a sense of humor, he'll love this.

LOL those were good.