First of all, this is not about me.

I was discussing this with a friend of mine and am just curious what you all think about the situation.

If a woman is in a relationship that she doesn't want to be in but has nowhere else to go and can't even work due to a crippling injury that she is not able to collect disability for...then it seems like she has no options.

What would you do in her situation?

rely on my friends or family if possible.. or ask for some sort of gvt help for housing and such. But not stay where she is if at all possible

Get an Attorney to fight for her disability. Then leave the relationship.

So basically what youre saying is that she is using this guy to live with but doesnt love him.

And yes she is using him whether she is crippled or not. Does the guy know how she feels??

Try again for the disability and then government assessment then move out. If the injury's are that bad she can get disability it just might take more then one try. Never give up on something you deserve to have.

And never stay in a relationship were there is no love. No one is trapped if they really want to get out.

i'm goona wear 'em in bed--

Just to add context, he knows she wants to leave but has no friends or family to turn to. She has been off work for 8 years now, and never goes out...so knows no one outside of the few mutual friends she shares with her b/f.

She talked to a disability lawyer a couple of years ago and he told her it's not an issue she can press. While it's a disabling issue, they can't push a case like hers without a firm diagnosis, which she doesn't have.

Personally, I think her b/f is a mighty good friend to continue supporting her while stepping down from b/f to good friend and caregiver. It's a raw deal for her, yeah...but no picnic for him either.

#1 There are always options... Family, Friends, Church, State...

#2 I agree with "So basically what youre saying is that she is using this guy to live with but doesnt love him.

And yes she is using him whether she is crippled or not"

Seems pretty simple to me, She needs to leave

Yes...she told him it was over and asked him for advise on what to do about it. She is not using him anymore than he is inviting her to do so. But I do understand where you're coming from.

#1 I'm about it...and frankly I don't have the means to support her.

#2 It didn't start out that way and when she realized she no longer loved him and told him so, he told her she is welcome to stay.

They have been together for a long time...since before her physical condition arose. I don't know how he sees the situation and wish that I did...but it's not my place to ask him.

Sounds like to me she has not had a doctor confirm her disability not that hard to do if she is really disabled. Then the next step is to apply for the benefits.

Unless she is not really disabled and is using that as and excuse instead.

She should go to the doctor and get a diagnosis for her condition. Then the lawyers can do something. Then when she fights for disability it could take up to 2 years before she will get it. So it's imperative that she begin the process as soon as possible. She would qualify for HUDD housing and Section 8.

I don't think she's lying about her situation or the pain preventing her from handling a job. Then again, she's a friend and I don't want to think that about her.

I know she was thought to have fibromyalgia, but the specialist they sent her to said that while everyone is different with that condition, there was not enough evidence to diagnose her with it, and it was hard to draw disability from that anyway.

She is trying to get a part time job at a desk now, but she will not be able to support herself on just that. I really don't know what to tell her. Ugh! She is lucky to have a good hearted bf, but she can't stay there forever.

Yes she can.. If she has a part-time job HUDD and Section 8 will go on her income. They will pay most if not all of her rent and some of her bills. She would have enough money to have everything she needs. But that's it. Difficult way to live, but it's possible. I would get a second opinion with a different doctor, maybe even a third if needed. You can get SSI with fibromyalgia. My step mother did.

Thanks for that...I will let her know. She really should get on with things. I kinda thought she needed a second opinion too.

I told her there are always options if you look hard enough. She doesn't want things to stay this way for sure.