Many women are anxious about mammograms, but there is no need to worry.
By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing
the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test and
best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your
home.

EXERCISE ONE:

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door
as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that
position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't
effective enough.

EXERCISE TWO:

Visit your garage at 3AM when the temperature of the cement floor is
just perfect. Take off all your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor
with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to
slowly back the car up until your breast is sufficiently flattened and
chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

EXERCISE THREE:

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a
stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts.
Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment
with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

YOU ARE TOTALLY PREPARED!

AND, just a thought for all the women out there........

MENtal illness, MENstrual cramps, MENtal breakdown,
MENopause............

Ever notice how all of women's problems start with men?.........And

When we have real trouble it's HISterectomy!!!!

Gosh, much truth to those mammogram exercises.

Geeez - you make it sound like such fun!!

LOL LOL

That would be funny if it were not so close to REAL!

I just had a mammo two weeks ago and had a very empathetic lab tech this
time. Of course, that made no difference as to the compression rate...

If you had told this joke a month ago it might have been funny to me...

Verb

marilyn! I am so glad you know I was kidding. I really did have a mammo
though just as I said. But the memory is still too VIVID!

Yeesh!


Verb

you girls just ain't right