Okay, so as many of you know I often have a more strong voice toward the atheist perspective on religion. I work for a pastor and many people in the organization are religious as well. I use to be a Christian but def. am not one now. I am not an atheist i have a belief in a higher power than in me or in humans but i don't know what it is. My biggest problem with religion is the patriarchal tendencies that ... pretty much every religion carries which is why i struggle with it also there are many things in the christian tradition i dont agree with. My current bf soon to be more i expect his whole family is catholic his parents esp. devout catholics but he doesn't attend mass regularly. I asked him how we would raise our children in the future. The quesiton has often plagued me what will i tell my children when s/he asks where we go when we die what will i say when they learn about God/ Jesus and they will in school , what will I say about heaven.... and i often come to a loss.

I respect churches greatly because they do a lot for the community and I do believe that the idea of church really does help support the community members as far as keeping members marriages together perhaps through pastorial/preacher/ etc. marriage counseling or something else like that I do feel that the church is there for its members when they are ill etc... but my bf and I decided that we would , when we have children , when the time is right in the future lol, that we would take them to church, and that we would attend regularly with them ( he is christian) and I talked to him about my own grudge with religion and while I will always ensure my children that a womans choice is a womans choice and that gay marriage is fine, and that a woman is no less than a man. I will never tell them that christianity is false, nor would I ever tell them anything that I feel would put them at strain ( if that makes sense) I will allow them to make the decision to continue to follow Christianity or to change religions or maybe to not even have a religion.

I have always struggled with my want to believe but something )( please dont say the devil) continually plagues me about its submissiveness and its repulsion against the stranger( outsiders) so i just thought i would post this decision since we so often see the continual combats of the atheist/ non-believers vs. the believers.

you look damn good

there are many religions and churches which
do not have such a patriarchal viewpoint if
you both are just a bit adventurous in looking
for a more liberal practice of your faith then
i'm certain you will be able to find a kind,
nurturing, spiritually uplifting environment
where everyone and anyone can become equally
involved.

What is it you would "expect" a child to learn from the structure of any SPECIFIC organized religion?

You can both provide structure for a child, structure that fits your personal beliefs and not conform to the beliefs of others.

You can both provide a sense of extended family by maintaining close relations with your families of origin and/or families of choice.

You can also provide answers to questions, when they begin. "Why does Johnny go to church on Sunday?" "Why does David wear that funny cap on his head?" "Who is God?" "What is Islam?"

You don't need others to define, for YOUR children, who or what thier god should be or even what that god might demand or expect of them. They seek answers not your opinion. At some point they may and probably will ask for your opinion, it's important to them. But don't give it expecting them to come to the same conclusions.

ALSO, keep in mind that by limiting your childrens experience to that one specific dogmatic belief, you are allowing them to be taught what you don't beleive.

And someday they will grow up and don't think that as they grow they won't notice that you have stopped your regular attendance, or your faithful attention to Christian holidays. Your ambiguity will not escape their sight or their understanding. You may, in fact, be facing their anger whey they feel that you have dupped them into believing something you hold so litte regard for. And once again, remember, force feeding opinions and claiming them to be the truth, to children is brainwashing

HONESTY is best. When they are of an age to question, find suitable books that give REAL and HONEST answers. Teach them how to research, how to find answers for themselves.

My son became intrigued with finding the answers to all the different belief systems when he was in 6th grade. Our library card was never so heavily used as it was over the next 5 or 6 years. He came to terms with others beliefs all on his own. He does not agree or believe in any one thing, himself, but he is knowledgable, accepting, and has some peace about what he knows and believes.

Do not LEAD your children. Teach them, show them the paths available, let them be free and follow them, for they will look back to feel the security of your closeness, and YOU, both, will surely learn more from them than you ever imagined teaching them.