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| Topic: Frustrated In California | |
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It's SO Hard To Find A Relationship These Days. I've Met A Couple Guys, Not On Here, But Other Sites, And The Guys I've Been On Dates With Have Been Utter Jerks. Only Wanting The Dates To End With Sex, Basically Controlling Me, And Not Being Okay With The 4 Things Listed On My Profile, After They Said They Were, Etc. I Don't Know Why I Have Such Bad Luck. I'm Looking For A Long Term Relationship With Someone Who Lives Nearby, & No Luck. Where Are All The "Good" Men?! Lol.
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I'm going to offer some advice on why I think...and i stress the work 'I' you are having problems finding the relationship you want. By reading your profile here is what I got out of it...you don't work at the moment...you won't change for anyone...you wan't the guy you are going to be with, being cool about you going and hanging out with your ex...I understand the ex in the kids life and still being friends...but going and hanging out is another story....that on top of you wanting him to be ok with you having a gf..on the side.
So basically after seeing that it seems all you want is someone to take care of you and your kid, while you do not compromise at all...and you are looking for long term relationship. IMHO long term relationshiops require both people to compromise...not just one. You are asking for a lot...offerring nothing in return. But that is JMHO |
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I'm going to offer some advice on why I think...and i stress the work 'I' you are having problems finding the relationship you want. By reading your profile here is what I got out of it...you don't work at the moment...you won't change for anyone...you wan't the guy you are going to be with, being cool about you going and hanging out with your ex...I understand the ex in the kids life and still being friends...but going and hanging out is another story....that on top of you wanting him to be ok with you having a gf..on the side. So basically after seeing that it seems all you want is someone to take care of you and your kid, while you do not compromise at all...and you are looking for long term relationship. IMHO long term relationshiops require both people to compromise...not just one. You are asking for a lot...offerring nothing in return. But that is JMHO Sorry Darlin, but the man does have a good point here. |
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Im not a jerk and I also like some Anime. GO BLEACH! lol Anyways. If you havent noticed most people on the net are freakin weirdos. Very rarely will you find someone worth talking to. I myself am just a man whos tired of the bar or club scene cuz its like 10 guys tryin to hit on 1 girl. Im straight on doin all that cuz if a girl thinks im worth it she will try and kick it with me. And if theres 10 guys tryin im sure i wont be able to get to know her.
Anyways yea.... Im just tryin to share what I've learned and who I am. |
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If you have loads of complaints about men in California, I've got loads of complaints about women in Cali since I'm not a native here. I've never met so many bored and boring women in my life!!
I checked out your profile. You're being upfront about yourself and your lifestyle. You're not every guy's cup of tea but at least you're being honest about it. No surprises...we hope. It's hard finding a relationship in Cali because people don't seem to understand that it takes some time to find points of connection. The more points of connection the stronger the chemistry. Everybody wants instant gratification and in human relationships that's hard to do. If you want to complain about guys wanting only sex then I want to complain about women who want to be "friends first". What does that mean? How long do we need to be friends first before we take it to the next level? I don't know if it's entirely unique to California but I think the perception that there are a lot of superficial people here has some truth. Cali people get really incensed if you start critiquing their culture but the culture leaves a lot to be desired. Meeting a REAL person isn't so easy around here. |
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Being a Cali born girl, I noticed a big difference in people in Oregon while I lived there. Nicer, more relaxed and easier to get along with, even living in a town with mostly truck stops.
I can't do too much comparison, but there is nothing wrong with being up front, but like the man said, not every guys cup of tea. I have cut my profile down quite a bit. Sh!t, no one wants to read a novella. Your's isnt quite a novella yet, but I would cut it down if it were me, imho. Ive been BP all my life and finally got my ssi in 97....been jerked around a lot but found that if i wasnt careful, I made bad decisions. i.e letting people play on my heart stings, loaning money,(i know I'll never get back), so, I understand where you are coming from on that. You 4 things are a bit demanding and looks like you are looking for submissive type. I cant see anyone but that kind of person agreeing to all that. No prob with your lifestyle. My son is gay and Ive been around that all my life. Never jumped the fence though. Good luck to ya and if you ever feel like chatting about things, feel free to write. |
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 God I just Love msmyka.
 .....thinking of you.....
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I'm going to offer some advice on why I think...and i stress the work 'I' you are having problems finding the relationship you want. By reading your profile here is what I got out of it...you don't work at the moment...you won't change for anyone...you wan't the guy you are going to be with, being cool about you going and hanging out with your ex...I understand the ex in the kids life and still being friends...but going and hanging out is another story....that on top of you wanting him to be ok with you having a gf..on the side. So basically after seeing that it seems all you want is someone to take care of you and your kid, while you do not compromise at all...and you are looking for long term relationship. IMHO long term relationshiops require both people to compromise...not just one. You are asking for a lot...offerring nothing in return. But that is JMHO Sorry Darlin, but the man does have a good point here. he certainly does  
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If you have loads of complaints about men in California, I've got loads of complaints about women in Cali since I'm not a native here. I've never met so many bored and boring women in my life!! I checked out your profile. You're being upfront about yourself and your lifestyle. You're not every guy's cup of tea but at least you're being honest about it. No surprises...we hope. It's hard finding a relationship in Cali because people don't seem to understand that it takes some time to find points of connection. The more points of connection the stronger the chemistry. Everybody wants instant gratification and in human relationships that's hard to do. If you want to complain about guys wanting only sex then I want to complain about women who want to be "friends first". What does that mean? How long do we need to be friends first before we take it to the next level? I don't know if it's entirely unique to California but I think the perception that there are a lot of superficial people here has some truth. Cali people get really incensed if you start critiquing their culture but the culture leaves a lot to be desired. Meeting a REAL person isn't so easy around here. Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... |
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Edited by
mscherbear
on
Tue 07/29/08 12:24 PM
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
thank you !!! mscherbear
see what i mean Guys???
Many of us ladies from all over the world
are very high caliber, honest, with real integrity.
Not All of us are shallow  , money hungry 
self-centered  or unapproachable 
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
Cheryl, I knew there was a reason I liked you and wanted to make you my friend. Three cheers for MsCherBear!! 
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
Cheryl, I knew there was a reason I liked you and wanted to make you my friend. Three cheers for MsCherBear!!
(((Doug))) Thank you, but I can't take credit for this...these are Rapunzel's words which I tried quoting and messed up on! The only thing I said was "exactly!" 
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Edited by
mscherbear
on
Tue 07/29/08 03:55 PM
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^^^^I seem to be having trouble with my quotes
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
Cheryl, I knew there was a reason I liked you and wanted to make you my friend. Three cheers for MsCherBear!!
well, that is wonderful...
she is a nice lady for sure...
but you are just going to ignore me in the process...??? 
i will try to forgive you for your insensitivity
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(((Rapunzel)))
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
Cheryl, I knew there was a reason I liked you and wanted to make you my friend. Three cheers for MsCherBear!!
(((Doug))) Thank you, but I can't take credit for this...these are Rapunzel's words which I tried quoting and messed up on! The only thing I said was "exactly!"
Ohhh...Cheryl, i just now read your message 
thank you so much for your respect & sensitivity 
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Born and raised in Orange County, California and miraculously I turned out OK
I love the weather, activities and pace here but sometimes the people do make me want to pull my hair out. |
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Not all women who live in California are the typical stereotype of superficial bimbos... but not all have hailed from New England with an amazing upbringing from the Old School with a code of very decent ethics a strong inner core of spiritual beliefs, lots of wisdom and true appreciation for the things of real value without price tags that are priceless... Exactly!
Cheryl, I knew there was a reason I liked you and wanted to make you my friend. Three cheers for MsCherBear!!
(((Doug))) Thank you, but I can't take credit for this...these are Rapunzel's words which I tried quoting and messed up on! The only thing I said was "exactly!"
Ohhh...Cheryl, i just now read your message
thank you so much for your respect & sensitivity
Well said Rapunzel. Three bouquets for Ms. Rapunzel!!
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ohhhhhhh...
thank you so very much
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